Men who grew up with female names - how hard was it?

[Anonymous]

It seems to be slightly more universally favored to be female with a traditionally male name.

What about men with female names? What is your name? What was your experience like?

I know a thirty-something Dana named after his father who hated it because he grew up with female Dana’s while his father had more male Dana’s as peers.

[Anonymous]

There’s a song about it. “A Boy Named Sue” by Jonny Cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to be slightly more universally favored to be female with a traditionally male name.

What about men with female names? What is your name? What was your experience like?

I know a thirty-something Dana named after his father who hated it because he grew up with female Dana’s while his father had more male Dana’s as peers.

Dana is both a male and female nshr
In England Evelyn and Shirley are male names

I had a great aunt who was named "Willie James" after her mother's two brothers who were killed in WWII.



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[Anonymous]

I know several male Staceys and Traceys, and they seem to be okay. Interestingly, while I agree with you that being a woman with a male name seems easier, the women I have worked with who have male names have all put distinguishers in their email signature blocks.

For example, Shawn wrote "Ms. Shawn Girl," and "Tommie" included her pronouns before anyone else added them to signature blocks. I've never seen a male do this, so it leads me to believe that it bothers women more.

[Anonymous]

My kids school has male "Kelly" and male "Tracy" and they are both good looking athletes so it works. On a nerdier kid (like mine!) it might bother them.

[Anonymous]

The one guy I know personally with a gender-ambiguous/female name goes by his middle name.

But I also know a man with a perfectly normal, masculine first name who eschews that and goes by a somewhat gender ambiguous nickname (think Jamie) for his middle name, so I don't think there's any rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several male Staceys and Traceys, and they seem to be okay. Interestingly, while I agree with you that being a woman with a male name seems easier, the women I have worked with who have male names have all put distinguishers in their email signature blocks.

For example, Shawn wrote "Ms. Shawn Girl," and "Tommie" included her pronouns before anyone else added them to signature blocks. I've never seen a male do this, so it leads me to believe that it bothers women more.

I’m a woman with a gender neutral name that leans masculine. It doesn’t bother me at all when people send me Dear Mr. SoAndSo emails, but they often seem embarrassed when they realize the mistake. A “Ms.” or pronouns avoids that. I think most people in my shoes go that route just to avoid confusion or spare others awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several male Staceys and Traceys, and they seem to be okay. Interestingly, while I agree with you that being a woman with a male name seems easier, the women I have worked with who have male names have all put distinguishers in their email signature blocks.

For example, Shawn wrote "Ms. Shawn Girl," and "Tommie" included her pronouns before anyone else added them to signature blocks. I've never seen a male do this, so it leads me to believe that it bothers women more.

No, I can just envision women being better at pre-empting awkward moments and putting the info out there for people to have. Doesn’t mean they are bothered. It means they are tired of having a silly conversation about it with every new contact.

[Anonymous]

Unisex names have been around forever - Terry, Francis/es, Erin/Aaron, Lindsey/ay, Dana, Mika/Micah, off the top of my head.

Fwiw, I think people who have last names (mom's maiden name) as their first names (Miller, Gray, Smith, Holt, - type names) have it worse.

[Anonymous]

My father has struggled with this since his name used to be common for males but in last 50 years is exclusively female.
Every time we go to doctor they think he’s the oldest transgender they’ve ever met. Sigh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unisex names have been around forever - Terry, Francis/es, Erin/Aaron, Lindsey/ay, Dana, Mika/Micah, off the top of my head.

Fwiw, I think people who have last names (mom's maiden name) as their first names (Miller, Gray, Smith, Holt, - type names) have it worse.

Some of the names you're calling unisex are just homophones. Francis is a male name originating from Franciscus, Frances is a female name from the same origin; they just sound the same. Erin and Aaron aren't even remotely related to each other, they simply sound alike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several male Staceys and Traceys, and they seem to be okay. Interestingly, while I agree with you that being a woman with a male name seems easier, the women I have worked with who have male names have all put distinguishers in their email signature blocks.

For example, Shawn wrote "Ms. Shawn Girl," and "Tommie" included her pronouns before anyone else added them to signature blocks. I've never seen a male do this, so it leads me to believe that it bothers women more.

I’m a woman with a gender neutral name that leans masculine. It doesn’t bother me at all when people send me Dear Mr. SoAndSo emails, but they often seem embarrassed when they realize the mistake. A “Ms.” or pronouns avoids that. I think most people in my shoes go that route just to avoid confusion or spare others awkwardness.

I'm the pp, and I've only noticed women doing it. I wonder if it's because people assume the person is male rather than female. I've never seen a man's signature stating, "Mr. Shawn Boy."

[Anonymous]

My 19-year-old DS has a feminine sounding nickname that started in preschool and has stuck through into college. He’s pretty bro-y plays lacrosse in golf and hangs with his boys and all that. I kept thinking the nickname would go away, but it’s just who he is now and it doesn’t seem to be an issue in his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unisex names have been around forever - Terry, Francis/es, Erin/Aaron, Lindsey/ay, Dana, Mika/Micah, off the top of my head.

Fwiw, I think people who have last names (mom's maiden name) as their first names (Miller, Gray, Smith, Holt, - type names) have it worse.

Some of the names you're calling unisex are just homophones. Francis is a male name originating from Franciscus, Frances is a female name from the same origin; they just sound the same. Erin and Aaron aren't even remotely related to each other, they simply sound alike.

Erin and Aaron don't even sound alike unless you have a southern accent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unisex names have been around forever - Terry, Francis/es, Erin/Aaron, Lindsey/ay, Dana, Mika/Micah, off the top of my head.

Fwiw, I think people who have last names (mom's maiden name) as their first names (Miller, Gray, Smith, Holt, - type names) have it worse.

Some of the names you're calling unisex are just homophones. Francis is a male name originating from Franciscus, Frances is a female name from the same origin; they just sound the same. Erin and Aaron aren't even remotely related to each other, they simply sound alike.

Erin and Aaron don't even sound alike unless you have a southern accent.

I’m midwestern and I pronounce them the same way. I thought only New Yorkers pronounced them differently.