Do your tweens/teens want to hang out with you 1:1 outside of home?

[Anonymous]

My teen son loves screentime, and he does not like to go out with me outside of home, like doing grocery shopping together, taking a walk in neighborhood, maybe playing with some balls, riding bike outside, go visit an art studio, attend community events etc . He would rather stay home to watch YouTube or play boardgame with me at home. My tween daughter still wants to go with me when I do grocery shopping, attend community event, taking a walk in the neighborhood etc.. I often buy them treats or eat out or small things when we go out together, and my daughter would rather go out with me than staying at home. I am the mom. DH does basketball time with our son a few times every month if weather is permitted . What could mom do with teen son on a regular basis outside of home?

[Anonymous]

None of those things you mentioned sound fun for a teen boy, maybe some kids like them but honestly, even my teen daughter outgrew them. I don’t even want to go grocery shopping!

See if he wants to go out to lunch. Let him pick the place.

Teens often doesn’t like hanging out with parents. My daughter likes going to Starbucks or other places for food. My 18 yo son is harder since he’s not home as much these days but going out to eat and they pick is always good.

[Anonymous]

^and I mean just the lunch, not a long day of a museum and then lunch. It’s too much time.

[Anonymous]

No my 13yo DD doesnt.
We do stuff as a family or with other family/friends and she enjoys those.
But go to the grocery store with me? Walk the dog together, nope.

[Anonymous]

Sure but screen time any time they’re home is not an option. Also, they understand obligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen son loves screentime, and he does not like to go out with me outside of home, like doing grocery shopping together, taking a walk in neighborhood, maybe playing with some balls, riding bike outside, go visit an art studio, attend community events etc . He would rather stay home to watch YouTube or play boardgame with me at home. My tween daughter still wants to go with me when I do grocery shopping, attend community event, taking a walk in the neighborhood etc.. I often buy them treats or eat out or small things when we go out together, and my daughter would rather go out with me than staying at home. I am the mom. DH does basketball time with our son a few times every month if weather is permitted . What could mom do with teen son on a regular basis outside of home?

Grocery shopping is not fun. Mine will always go out to eat and other things with me.

[Anonymous]

Yes, mine do. They actually enjoy shoppering, as they call it. And it’s kind of expected they go and help since I’m getting food for them….but they also like to hang out one on one or as a family. We have fun together. Family jokes and special words etc.

[Anonymous]

Your teen son is actually doing his job - and that’s to separate from mom and dad.

But find something appealing to *him*. Not sure what your son’s into, but I can think of exactly zero teen boys who would be excited to set down their video game for a visit with mom to an art studio.

[Anonymous]

My youngest is now a college freshman. All of mine did and still do love hanging out with me and both parents together. But honestly if we chose the activities you do, I doubt they would have.

Your issue might be screens. But it also might be that you haven’t found ways to connect with him. Little kids are so easy but by the time they get to MS, it takes work to find common interests.

[Anonymous]

11 yo DD? Yes. 16 yo DS? No, not really one on one very often. But we regularly do things as a family (all 4 of us). He seems to enjoy that.

[Anonymous]

Mine likes to cook/bake with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen son loves screentime, and he does not like to go out with me outside of home, like doing grocery shopping together, taking a walk in neighborhood, maybe playing with some balls, riding bike outside, go visit an art studio, attend community events etc . He would rather stay home to watch YouTube or play boardgame with me at home. My tween daughter still wants to go with me when I do grocery shopping, attend community event, taking a walk in the neighborhood etc.. I often buy them treats or eat out or small things when we go out together, and my daughter would rather go out with me than staying at home. I am the mom. DH does basketball time with our son a few times every month if weather is permitted . What could mom do with teen son on a regular basis outside of home?

EAT.

[Anonymous]

My DD would be up for anything. My DS would prefer not to tag along for running errands, but if we eat out, plan something active like a hike, go to a movie, etc., then he's all over it.

[Anonymous]

Yep. DD will run errands with me but our favorite thing to do together is get coffee and browse Barnes and Noble or a record store together.

[Anonymous]

Truthfully, mostly only if she is going to get something out of it — Starbucks, good restaurant, movie she wants to see, a new outfit, etc. She isn’t in the “let’s go for a walk or to a museum” phase of life. I’m hopeful some of her intellectual curiosity will come back in a few years. I know it is in there somewhere.

But we are also at a point where the movies she wants to see and the restaurants she prefers are also things we like so it gives us stuff to do together outside of the house. She still likes me to read to her every night before bed — we are in an Agatha Christie phase now. Except now we aren’t snuggling while reading, she is “doing her skincare.”