Ugh, 5th grade DS just absolutely awful at school
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Anonymous
| He’s a total disaster with homework. Leaves it at school half the time. When he does do it, it’s rushed. Usually gets 70s and 80s on tests. Just totally unmotivated to actually do the work (though he claims to want to do well). He’s smart, but just doesnt’ seem to care, and starting to wonder what will become of him. |
Anonymous
| As long as he grasps the material, the grades make no difference. Not even HS grades really matter unless one is trying to get an academic scholarship, and most of those aren't even worth the trouble for the meager amounts that are given. |
Anonymous
| Welcome to the world of smart boys with ADHD. It only gets worse. |
Anonymous
|
I would start with the premise that he does care, but he doesn't know what to do to show that he cares. What systems do you have to remind him to bring home his work? What supports have you provided to help him to remember to slow down and check his work? Has anyone taught him study skills? Does he know the material and just can't show his knowledge on tests or does he have trouble understanding the material?
People on DCUM jump to diagnoses too quickly, but he has all the red flags for ADHD and/or learning disabilities. |
Anonymous
If that were true 80% of boys would have a neurological disorder. He’s not failing so he is focusing and learning, just not as well as he should be. Start with helping him build a system of organization and you’ll have to help with it for a long time until he gets it. |
Anonymous
| Have you had him tested? |
Anonymous
Tests are usually created by the people, or peers of them, who sell the cures. Convenient huh? |
Anonymous
The bolded is 100% not true. Do you know anything about ADHD? |
Anonymous
|
Here’s the answer that you need to hear but no one else will give you: Let him be. Supports won’t work. Your kid either won’t grow enough to take advantage of them, or he’ll become dependent on them and relapse the second they are taken away. And motivation won’t work. Sure, he may put in the extra effort for a special reward, but the day-to-day work isn’t going to get any better.
The reality is that your kid will become successful and motivated when he wants to be that way. Do your best to expose him to everything, and some day sparks will fly. Once he finds out what he’s interested in, he’ll begin to explore things he may be passionate about. It may not be this year or next (in fact it probably won’t happen until he’s closer to high school or beyond), but it will happen. I promise you. Bottom line is love the kid you have, don’t get hung up on quiz scores or homework neatness, and let him find his path. He’ll be okay, I promise. |
Anonymous
How you know the fools smart |
Anonymous
| You’ll probably hear differently with posters’ special snowflakes, but he sounds like a typical fifth grade boy. My fifth grader last year was just like this, and he’s turning it around on his own this year. |
Anonymous
| And you're in denial about his ADHD, right? |
Anonymous
I completely disagree. To some kids, organization and school behavior come naturally. And some need to be taught. Two of mine were in the latter category. I had to teach them how to pack a backpack. I had to teach them to finish the assignments and everything else that went into being a good student. And once they learned, they were able to follow through. But good students r behavior was definitely a skill they weren’t born with and hadn’t mastered by fifth grade. I distinctly remember the light going on for me that we had to help them figure it out and it was almost midway through fifth grade. |
Anonymous
I know my son has a learning disability and he is disorganized and forgetful but it’s not adhd. I know that most kids who have adhd cannot pass their classes without help no matter their intelligent level. It’s the most common disability for kids in school and parents sometimes diagnose their child based on reading an article in a book |
Anonymous
+1. If you’re looking for a diagnosis they will sell you one |