Anyone else have what I can only call work trauma?

[Anonymous]

I am 39 and just got laid off last week. I have worked for the better part of the last 26 years, and I am exhausted. I did blue collar work until my early thirties, when I got my degrees, and have been in the professional work force for the last five years.

I have been lied to, lied about, been caught in the political crosshairs of the office environment, bullied, sexually harassed, demeaned, pushed out, sidelined, etc. I was so on guard leaving my previous role for this new one, but this last job was probably the worst in terms of a lack of “psychological safety”: I was micromanaged, asked to send copies of emails for editing/review before sending out, spoken to like a naughty child when I didn’t read the minds of the managers I was supporting etc. The client loved me but my immediate peers/managers were passive-aggressive and the opposite of supportive.

ATP corporate America just seems like an exploitive toxic sludge and I feel panic when I think about taking on a new role. I never seem to be able to align with the right people and end up scapegoated. I’m sure there’s some blind spots but generally I’m very well-liked, it just seems that I’m an easy target for the workplace bully/ies and I am afraid of being in any kind of situation like that again.

Has anyone else been in this position? I have an MBA and want to work - I actually like working, even outside of the income perspective - but I am just so gun-shy. I feel like I’ll never find a place that’s honest and transparent and generally positive. Is it me? Is it them? Is this just the nature of work in America?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. I wish your experience were more rare but it's not. Especially as a smart woman.

[Anonymous]

My blue collar work was abusive. I worked as a server for nearly three decades. Long hours, barely minimum wage, and then screaming and yelling 3-4 am after 12-hour shift by a drunk boss.
I tried to become a teacher, but school was just as toxic. I saw it as an aide finishing up my degree.
I knew I couldn't do the 12-hours shifts for long for such a low wage. I invested some of my money and small amounts grew big. Once I started investing actively, the returns were 50%+ a year.
I know a lot of people who still think about their toxic work environments.
Investing was my way out. I hope you find yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 and just got laid off last week. I have worked for the better part of the last 26 years, and I am exhausted. I did blue collar work until my early thirties, when I got my degrees, and have been in the professional work force for the last five years.

I have been lied to, lied about, been caught in the political crosshairs of the office environment, bullied, sexually harassed, demeaned, pushed out, sidelined, etc. I was so on guard leaving my previous role for this new one, but this last job was probably the worst in terms of a lack of “psychological safety”: I was micromanaged, asked to send copies of emails for editing/review before sending out, spoken to like a naughty child when I didn’t read the minds of the managers I was supporting etc. The client loved me but my immediate peers/managers were passive-aggressive and the opposite of supportive.

ATP corporate America just seems like an exploitive toxic sludge and I feel panic when I think about taking on a new role. I never seem to be able to align with the right people and end up scapegoated. I’m sure there’s some blind spots but generally I’m very well-liked, it just seems that I’m an easy target for the workplace bully/ies and I am afraid of being in any kind of situation like that again.

Has anyone else been in this position? I have an MBA and want to work - I actually like working, even outside of the income perspective - but I am just so gun-shy. I feel like I’ll never find a place that’s honest and transparent and generally positive. Is it me? Is it them? Is this just the nature of work in America?

Honestly, this sounds like a mix of real grievances and petty ones. You've been in the white-collar world for only a few years, and being asked to have emails reviewed before being sent out for typos and errors is NOT on the same level as being sexually harassed. If everything to you amounts to trauma, you'll come across as a lightweight. No one deserves to be harassed, but any newbie should be glad that their communications are being reviewed prior to being sent out to clients.
Are you someone who is easily overwhelmed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry OP. I wish your experience were more rare but it's not. Especially as a smart woman.

This.

-in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

My mom did blue collar work for most of her career and this is what she described too. She tends to read the negative into everything so some of it was imaginary but some was definitely real. OP sounds like my mom. It sounds tough but you have to keep going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry OP. I wish your experience were more rare but it's not. Especially as a smart woman.

Agree. Another smart woman.

[Anonymous]

This is OP and sad to see I’m not alone. Re: having emails reviewed - I refuse to believe this is normal, as this only happened in my last job. Previously I was chief of staff to CEO, and not sure if PP read my whole post but also have an advanced degree, so well past the point of needing to have my written communications reviewed for grammatical errors. Further, it’s demoralizing to be treated like you don’t have the mental capacity to write a solid email.

I just want to run away and join the circus, but sure this would be just as toxic.

Does this kind of stuff happen to men too? It just seems VASTLY easier to be a man in the workplace, and that goes for all workplaces I’ve been in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 and just got laid off last week. I have worked for the better part of the last 26 years, and I am exhausted. I did blue collar work until my early thirties, when I got my degrees, and have been in the professional work force for the last five years.

I have been lied to, lied about, been caught in the political crosshairs of the office environment, bullied, sexually harassed, demeaned, pushed out, sidelined, etc. I was so on guard leaving my previous role for this new one, but this last job was probably the worst in terms of a lack of “psychological safety”: I was micromanaged, asked to send copies of emails for editing/review before sending out, spoken to like a naughty child when I didn’t read the minds of the managers I was supporting etc. The client loved me but my immediate peers/managers were passive-aggressive and the opposite of supportive.

ATP corporate America just seems like an exploitive toxic sludge and I feel panic when I think about taking on a new role. I never seem to be able to align with the right people and end up scapegoated. I’m sure there’s some blind spots but generally I’m very well-liked, it just seems that I’m an easy target for the workplace bully/ies and I am afraid of being in any kind of situation like that again.

Has anyone else been in this position? I have an MBA and want to work - I actually like working, even outside of the income perspective - but I am just so gun-shy. I feel like I’ll never find a place that’s honest and transparent and generally positive. Is it me? Is it them? Is this just the nature of work in America?

Honestly, this sounds like a mix of real grievances and petty ones. You've been in the white-collar world for only a few years, and being asked to have emails reviewed before being sent out for typos and errors is NOT on the same level as being sexually harassed. If everything to you amounts to trauma, you'll come across as a lightweight. No one deserves to be harassed, but any newbie should be glad that their communications are being reviewed prior to being sent out to clients.
Are you someone who is easily overwhelmed?

If my only grievance were the email issue, I wouldn’t feel this way. It’s the broader picture of being treated disrespectfully, like I’m “less than,” like I have to prove myself in fundamental ways continuously, and just the general eggshells I’ve been walking on when people are passive-aggressive but can’t or won’t directly address their issues nor clearly outline their expectations. Mind games, power plays, etc - it all makes me feel sick to my stomach.

[Anonymous]

You seem to enjoy being a victim OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 and just got laid off last week. I have worked for the better part of the last 26 years, and I am exhausted. I did blue collar work until my early thirties, when I got my degrees, and have been in the professional work force for the last five years.

I have been lied to, lied about, been caught in the political crosshairs of the office environment, bullied, sexually harassed, demeaned, pushed out, sidelined, etc. I was so on guard leaving my previous role for this new one, but this last job was probably the worst in terms of a lack of “psychological safety”: I was micromanaged, asked to send copies of emails for editing/review before sending out, spoken to like a naughty child when I didn’t read the minds of the managers I was supporting etc. The client loved me but my immediate peers/managers were passive-aggressive and the opposite of supportive.

ATP corporate America just seems like an exploitive toxic sludge and I feel panic when I think about taking on a new role. I never seem to be able to align with the right people and end up scapegoated. I’m sure there’s some blind spots but generally I’m very well-liked, it just seems that I’m an easy target for the workplace bully/ies and I am afraid of being in any kind of situation like that again.

Has anyone else been in this position? I have an MBA and want to work - I actually like working, even outside of the income perspective - but I am just so gun-shy. I feel like I’ll never find a place that’s honest and transparent and generally positive. Is it me? Is it them? Is this just the nature of work in America?

Honestly, this sounds like a mix of real grievances and petty ones. You've been in the white-collar world for only a few years, and being asked to have emails reviewed before being sent out for typos and errors is NOT on the same level as being sexually harassed. If everything to you amounts to trauma, you'll come across as a lightweight. No one deserves to be harassed, but any newbie should be glad that their communications are being reviewed prior to being sent out to clients.
Are you someone who is easily overwhelmed?

If my only grievance were the email issue, I wouldn’t feel this way. It’s the broader picture of being treated disrespectfully, like I’m “less than,” like I have to prove myself in fundamental ways continuously, and just the general eggshells I’ve been walking on when people are passive-aggressive but can’t or won’t directly address their issues nor clearly outline their expectations. Mind games, power plays, etc - it all makes me feel sick to my stomach.

This is annoying, for sure, and discouraging and probably a bad fit, but does not amount to trauma. Put on your big girl undies and move on.

[Anonymous]

I recommend finding a good manager and following them wherever they go. So many bad managers out there, the work itself is secondary.

[Anonymous]

I had this happen to me in my prior 2 jobs. In my last job (I'm a lawyer), my supervisor didn't like that I took too many bathroom breaks. She made me sign out of my cubicle every time I left to use the restroom. I raised hell over that. I'm a T1 diabetic (she didn't know that) who drinks a lot. I wasn't taking long bathroom breaks either. I got all of my work done and my work product was perfect. She also assigned me a 30 minute slot for lunch and said I couldn't eat outside of that window. HR actually said that was legal. I'm a thin person who ate small (noiseless, smell free) snacks throughout the day to keep my blood sugar in range. She did a lot of other crazy things too, but messing with my ability to pee and eat was too much.

I made a point to find a workplace that wasn’t like that, and I did. My current job has a really healthy vibe. Every now and then, someone comes in who doesn’t fit or tries to stir things up, but we spot it pretty quickly and let them go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 and just got laid off last week. I have worked for the better part of the last 26 years, and I am exhausted. I did blue collar work until my early thirties, when I got my degrees, and have been in the professional work force for the last five years.

I have been lied to, lied about, been caught in the political crosshairs of the office environment, bullied, sexually harassed, demeaned, pushed out, sidelined, etc. I was so on guard leaving my previous role for this new one, but this last job was probably the worst in terms of a lack of “psychological safety”: I was micromanaged, asked to send copies of emails for editing/review before sending out, spoken to like a naughty child when I didn’t read the minds of the managers I was supporting etc. The client loved me but my immediate peers/managers were passive-aggressive and the opposite of supportive.

ATP corporate America just seems like an exploitive toxic sludge and I feel panic when I think about taking on a new role. I never seem to be able to align with the right people and end up scapegoated. I’m sure there’s some blind spots but generally I’m very well-liked, it just seems that I’m an easy target for the workplace bully/ies and I am afraid of being in any kind of situation like that again.

Has anyone else been in this position? I have an MBA and want to work - I actually like working, even outside of the income perspective - but I am just so gun-shy. I feel like I’ll never find a place that’s honest and transparent and generally positive. Is it me? Is it them? Is this just the nature of work in America?

I can relate to this so much. I am 41 and burnt out. I try to care about my work and doing a good job, but I just can't.

[Anonymous]

Reading these posts makes me realize that the abuse heaped on SAHM comes from really traumatized working women.