Do neighbors count as play dates?

[Anonymous]

I wanted to get your opinion on this. I don’t do a ton of structured play dates, maybe 1x every two weeks and a sleepover once a month. We also tend to meet up with a bigger group of school friends at a park once a week.

My kids are 9 and 7. But we have our 10, 7 and 9 year old neighbors over (all boys) over usually 6 days a week. They are in our elementary school. My kids also have sports 6 days a week with school friends and when their sibling plays in actual games on the weekend it’s hang out/free time with a few kids from school.

My kids complain that the neighbors don’t count as play dates and they aren’t doing and seeing friends enough.

[Anonymous]

They don’t count boo

[Anonymous]

A play date every two weeks along with all the other things listed seems more than fine to me.

[Anonymous]

Are they saying they want to play with specific kids from school, and you are saying that play with entirely different kids should count for that?

Would that work for you? If you wanted a date night with your spouse and they said that they knew that you had run into an acquaintance at the grocery store, would that count?

It sounds like your kids are running from thing to thing and expected to play with whoever happens to be there.

[Anonymous]

It’s a gray area but if they’re in your house I’d say it counts.

[Anonymous]

Counts for what? There's no score. Your kids are saying they want to see specific friends more often. You can choose to do that or not. The kids have no idea what's reasonable; it sounds like you are doing a lot already.

But, you should find out whether your kids enjoy being with the neighbors. Just because they're similar ages and nearby does not mean that's fun for your kids. Ditto for playing with siblings of somebody's teammate.

[Anonymous]

Of course it counts. Neighbors are friends too. But it sounds like your DC wants more/ different friends

[Anonymous]

Wait. Are you asking us to say it counts so that you can go back to your young children and tell them to stop complaining because DCUM thinks it counts?

[Anonymous]

Stop worrying about semantics. Your kids are saying they want to play with their specific friends, not the hooligans who happen to live on the same street. So help facilitate them spending more time with friends!

[Anonymous]

Your kids are telling you they want to see their actual friends. Why are you so caught up on a word?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like plenty. They are seeing friends from school regularly outside of school to include monthly sleepovers. I’m assuming they can invite whomever they want to the sleepover and aren’t limited to neighbors. The “play date” culture has gone off the rails.

[Anonymous]

You say the neighbors are all boys but don't give the gender of your kids. You say they go to the same school but don't mention being in the same class. That isn't enough to tell me they are friends and actually enjoy being together. Even if they do, that has no bearing on them wanting to see their actual friends.

[Anonymous]

Meeting 6x a month with school friends that don’t live in your neighborhood sounds fine. It’s way more than we do and I only have one.

[Anonymous]

A major perk of having neighbors with kids is so that the kids can easily play without parents having to arrange logistics. My elementary kid usually only plays with neighbors and sees his school friends for hours a day at school.

I have a teenager who is no longer just running outside to see who can play and needs to be driven all over creation. Enjoy the neighborhood play while it lasts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like plenty. They are seeing friends from school regularly outside of school to include monthly sleepovers. I’m assuming they can invite whomever they want to the sleepover and aren’t limited to neighbors. The “play date” culture has gone off the rails.

I so agree.