When do you shift to drop off only

[Anonymous]

I have a third grade child and while there are a few drop off play dates, it is a lot of moms hanging with other moms with their kids.

I also seem to have a mismatch of the moms I like and am friends with and the moms of my child’s friends. I happen to like the boys moms better as adult friends. I met these women in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

You should have started a few years ago, IMHO.

But now is fine - just be clear and communicate. Text and ask "Is dropoff OK with you? I was hoping to run an errand"

[Anonymous]

Depends on the parents and location.

[Anonymous]

Other than a couple parents we go to socialize with because we're friends, first grade was the last time we stayed or had anyone stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have started a few years ago, IMHO.

But now is fine - just be clear and communicate. Text and ask "Is dropoff OK with you? I was hoping to run an errand"

Many birthdays still include parents and siblings.

DH dropped off DD recently and she was the only one dropped off. I attended a party this weekend with DD and told DH to come because many whole families were there.

[Anonymous]

first grade

[Anonymous]

Agree with first grade - after knowing the parents for a year.

[Anonymous]

Totally depends. We drop off for some and stay for others. We stay if parents are friends. But we have also dropped off if I know the parents are busy and don't have socializing time. I host a ton of playdates and parties and it's drop off optional in and after 2nd grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started a few years ago, IMHO.

But now is fine - just be clear and communicate. Text and ask "Is dropoff OK with you? I was hoping to run an errand"

Many birthdays still include parents and siblings.

DH dropped off DD recently and she was the only one dropped off. I attended a party this weekend with DD and told DH to come because many whole families were there.

+ 1
In my immigrant culture, usually whole families are invited. The idea is to create a community and network for the family, multiple generations etc.

Of course, this fails when it comes to families outside of our culture because there is a lot of work, time, money, energy involved in reciprocity and hosting - which many cultures may not do in the same way as ours.

Another thing is that I do not want to provide childcare for other people's children. I would rather that the parents are also attending and they can make their children behave.

[Anonymous]

Um around 4? What weirdos.

[Anonymous]

I so far have never dropped off for public places. Oldest is 13. I stay in the lobby at movie theaters or get concert tickets a couple of rows back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started a few years ago, IMHO.

But now is fine - just be clear and communicate. Text and ask "Is dropoff OK with you? I was hoping to run an errand"

Many birthdays still include parents and siblings.

DH dropped off DD recently and she was the only one dropped off. I attended a party this weekend with DD and told DH to come because many whole families were there.

I put birthdays in a different group than playdates. You've got more kids and you're often at a venue that might want more supervision. We've had birthday parties were parents stayed much more recently than playdates.

[Anonymous]

99% of the time, the parents want to hang out. I almost always stay, by invitation, and am happy to have them. If one of us wants to run an errand we will communicate that ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

For playdates ... we started in Kindergarten unless we (parents) were specifically friends and socializing. For birthday parties, especially large ones, I appreciate parents sticking around to help supervise their own kids if they are age 10 or under. But not required.

[Anonymous]

1st grade. I did a fair share of "meet up" playdates at that age still where the whole family would go to a park for example. And I think I probably stayed for large birthday parties although it was peak covid for us so I don't even remember many of those. I do remember one bowling party venue.

But for an at your house play date? Age 6. I don't need nor want to sit in your house. The play date is for kids.