Introverted people unintentionally end up coming off as social climbers: Agree/disagree?

[Anonymous]

So I am not some weird extrovert lambasting introverts. I am actually introverted myself and generally very private etc. but try to be friendly with everyone. But there are some types of introverts who come off as cold and only associate with a few select people. In their minds, they probably think they are low-key people who don't want to bother anyone. But, inevitably, there will be a few select people they do end up being very friendly with, sometimes out of genuine interest but also because they think "Hey, I need to play the game, so I'll go out of my mind to befriend these people."

It's all very innocuous, but it ends up having the effect of making them seem like overly selective people who are only friends with people who will benefit them. Which isn't totally inaccurate, but isn't as nefarious as you think it is.

Anyways, curious if you find this true in your experience.

[Anonymous]

I promise no one is watching you or analyzing you this much. Don’t sweat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I promise no one is watching you or analyzing you this much. Don’t sweat it.

Oh no, I'm not talking about myself, but other introverts.

[Anonymous]

Disagree. I don't know any introverts who seem like this. They have a small number of friends, but not in a way that makes it seem like their friends benefit them at all. They have friends that they have things in common with, usually people who share common interests, but not interests that are related to work or social climbing.

Frankly, I know very few social climbers at all. It's just not a thing I encounter in real life very often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. I don't know any introverts who seem like this. They have a small number of friends, but not in a way that makes it seem like their friends benefit them at all. They have friends that they have things in common with, usually people who share common interests, but not interests that are related to work or social climbing.

Frankly, I know very few social climbers at all. It's just not a thing I encounter in real life very often.

yeah, i don't think it's all that common (which makes it all the more jarring when you do encounter someone like that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. I don't know any introverts who seem like this. They have a small number of friends, but not in a way that makes it seem like their friends benefit them at all. They have friends that they have things in common with, usually people who share common interests, but not interests that are related to work or social climbing.

Frankly, I know very few social climbers at all. It's just not a thing I encounter in real life very often.

yeah, i don't think it's all that common (which makes it all the more jarring when you do encounter someone like that).

WTH op? Nobody thinks this is a trend. Is this like one person you know?

[Anonymous]

Disagree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. I don't know any introverts who seem like this. They have a small number of friends, but not in a way that makes it seem like their friends benefit them at all. They have friends that they have things in common with, usually people who share common interests, but not interests that are related to work or social climbing.

Frankly, I know very few social climbers at all. It's just not a thing I encounter in real life very often.

yeah, i don't think it's all that common (which makes it all the more jarring when you do encounter someone like that).

So there, you answered your own question . It’s not common.

[Anonymous]

Disagree.

Social climbers tend to be more extroverted and are also very obvious.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert and have a small circle of good friends. Some of them could be considered a social step up for me but not all. My friendships with them are based on shared interests and personalities (many of them are also introverts). I've never used a connection with any of them to get a job or opportunity.

But if someone else looks at my choice of friends and my general aloofness with others as evidence that I'm a social climber, then that is their problem and none of my business. Part of my introversion is that I don't think that hard about the opinions or gossip of people outside of my immediate family and closest friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. I don't know any introverts who seem like this. They have a small number of friends, but not in a way that makes it seem like their friends benefit them at all. They have friends that they have things in common with, usually people who share common interests, but not interests that are related to work or social climbing.

Frankly, I know very few social climbers at all. It's just not a thing I encounter in real life very often.

This.

[Anonymous]

I’m an introvert and this is not me at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree.

Social climbers tend to be more extroverted and are also very obvious.

I agree with this

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert and only have a small circle of friends. I dislike small talk, though I can do it when my job depends on it. I find it hard to make new friends but I do have a few very close friends. My friendships have nothing to do with career advancement.

I wish I were better at making friends for my kids' sake, as I'm usually the outsider in the parent groups, and I worry it negatively impacts them, although they are both very extroverted and have made plenty of friends in spite of my limitations.

[Anonymous]

Many people are pretty shallow and want to be around people who are attractive, successful, and charismatic. I think you are right because many extroverts are genuinely nosy about everything and everyone.