Introverted people unintentionally end up coming off as social climbers: Agree/disagree?

[Anonymous]

I've never seen what you describe.

We are a family of introverts. DD and I are very socially-aware, we just don't have the energy to socialize a lot. We are friendly to everyone and we smile and you wouldn't know we're introverted, perhaps, in a school or work setting. We like to go home and rest instead of go home and socialize again.

My husband and son are on the spectrum and they can't hide it. They are socially awkward, but courteous and professional. They don't know how to lie or suck up to people. They will gravitate to people who have the same interests as them, regardless of where they are on the social ladder, but it should be pretty obvious that if they talk to the CEO about their shared hobby, it's because of the hobby, not because of politics.

No one in his right mind would ever think that any of us are social climbers.

And like a PP said, the whole concept of social climbing gets more press than it deserves. Most people just want to get paid for doing a respectable job, and go home to live their lives.

[Anonymous]

I've seen what you describe, I think. Introverts who come across as snobby but when you get to know them you realize they are just introverted.

[Anonymous]

I'm introverted and face blind. If I ignore you, it's because I don't recognize that I know you. Please approach me and I'll be friendly. It's not social climbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree.

Social climbers tend to be more extroverted and are also very obvious.

+1
What a weird thread, I don't believe for 1 second that OP isn't trying to sh*t on introverts for some reason.

[Anonymous]

I thought we were in uk for a sec.

[Anonymous]

OK. I'm going to go on a limb here and conclude that people who accuse others of social climbing are insecure and have social climbing tendencies themselves...

This is not an introvert/extrovert issue. The problem is people who think about the world in that transactional way, versus people who don't. Like Trump projects all the things he does unto others.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting and something I’ll keep in mind, as an introvert. I hate fake friendships appear to be the currency that extroverts deal in.

If I’m talking to you without be required to do so, it’s because I genuinely like you. I don’t really think about relationships in a transactional way, because I find those kinds of relationships extremely draining and uncomfortable.

I think most introverts are similar. Funny that extroverts view it as climbing when it’s literally the opposite.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't see this at all. I think by definition "social climbers" are overtly aggressive about it. Just making friends with people you get along with isn't social climbing, it just ... social.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure you understand what being an introvert is OP.

[Anonymous]

Introverts only appear snobby to clingy extroverts.

[Anonymous]

OP I hear you and I think I probably come across like that because at work I only socialize with people I have to socialize with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I promise no one is watching you or analyzing you this much. Don’t sweat it.

That's exactly what a spy would say. ^

[Anonymous]

I think this is A LOT of analyzing to do when you don't know these people or why they behave the way they behave. Also I don't think you can apply it to groups. So I disagree mostly because it's just a wild broad non-serious assumption.

I do think some introvert behavior gets labeled as uppity. 100% sure that when I go sit by myself at my kid's sports games with my sunglasses on (prescription) some people think I'm a b-word. But really I'm just tired from work and don't feel like talking to people I don't already know.

[Anonymous]

People seem to be piling on and perhaps missing the point being made, but yes I have worked with people who display this exact behavior. In my experience it ultimately comes down to those who focus on performative workplace behaviors, particularly focusing on facetime with higher ups as a means to get ahead. Some of these people happen to be introverts so it may be more noticeable when they don’t bother interacting with those who don’t benefit their careers. But it isn’t because they are introverts, other than qualities are probably driving the behavior.

[Anonymous]

I think introverts come across as aloof a-holes because they do not show interest in the people around them. I'm not saying they ARE like that, but that's how they come across.