my daughter was accused of making her work miserable

[Anonymous]

my daughter (18) is heartbroken and crying over the fact that a supervisor at her parttime job told her "you are making this work environment poison." My daughter is the sweetest, most polite girl. Not a brat at all. Her job has many loud personalities and she is very calm. DOesn't fit in at all, but a hard worker.

my daughter wasn't rude or mean and I told her she needs to say something. She doesn't want to because she wants to let it slide, she hides from conflict / standing up for herself.
What would you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

What kind of job is this? Obviously that’s not at all appropriate. Is there an HR department?

[Anonymous]

Quit and get a new job. Could she be a goody goody maybe?

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by, "doesn’t fit in at all?"

[Anonymous]

I don’t see any reason to keep the job unless there are no other options.

What exactly triggered the comment?

[Anonymous]

op here. it is a job in retail but not a chain.
job is essentially stocking shelves etc. but the employees spend a lot of time together in the back.

she doesn't fit in she said because she isn't very social. but doesn't know why that woman would say that.

that comment is not constructive, i agree its inappropriate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see any reason to keep the job unless there are no other options.

What exactly triggered the comment?

Jobs are very hard to come by these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see any reason to keep the job unless there are no other options.

What exactly triggered the comment?

op here.
it was said just like that, and the woman going further to say that my daughter needs to talk more.

[Anonymous]

“Poison” is an incredibly strong word. It seems like you and dd have not given any serious consideration to the idea that she might actually be upsetting coworkers. If the supervisor is 100% out of line and this isn’t a job with a HR department your dd can talk to (retail store, fast food), she needs to find another job. It doesn’t appear to be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Poison” is an incredibly strong word. It seems like you and dd have not given any serious consideration to the idea that she might actually be upsetting coworkers. If the supervisor is 100% out of line and this isn’t a job with a HR department your dd can talk to (retail store, fast food), she needs to find another job. It doesn’t appear to be a good fit.

I am OP here. I agree with you but in this case I know my daughter has clean hands. She is the friendly type to be polite, never ignore anyone . With that being said she will not go out of her way to get to know people.
I thought this was called being an introvert and not poisoning the environment. Ugh.😞

[Anonymous]

Zero chance that DD doesn't know why supervisors said it unless she is totally clueless/ lives in the clouds.

[Anonymous]

I would think that there's some element of this situation that your daughter is not accurately describing, not accurately reporting, or doesn't understand.

Being collegial with coworkers is a professional skill and she should try to learn it.

[Anonymous]

Is there a manager or is this supervisor the highest level she interacts with?
Does your DD have any friends at work that can decipher what this supervisor said?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t have a reaction of outrage. I’d try to figure out why the supervisor said this.

I work with a couple people who are “shy” and in my view they are not shy they are rude. You greet them they don’t say hello. They are sour and unpleasant. It sucks.

Or the supervisor is way out of line. But ask more questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think that there's some element of this situation that your daughter is not accurately describing, not accurately reporting, or doesn't understand.

Being collegial with coworkers is a professional skill and she should try to learn it.

NP. While you are correct that getting along with coworkers is a skill, I've worked enough places to know that this is not always possible. Retail is among the worst, there are a lot of unpleasant people working in those jobs and I can especially envision how unpleasant they might be to an 18 year old who follows the rules and tries to please -- many of the retail environments I've worked in have cliques of workers who collaborate to do as little as possible, dislike outsiders (and, often, customers), and are just generally miserable people.

If that's the case, I would teach her how to grey rock (just be nonreactive to their provocations, go in and do her job and then leave, try not to get drawn into any drama) and then look for another position to jump to as soon as possible.