Is forgetfulness just rude or something else?

[Anonymous]

My father doesn't remember anything I tell him, unless it's of keen interest to him. His wife (my mother passed away a decade ago) says there is nothing wrong with him, he's just a little rude. He's 77. Is this how it goes?

[Anonymous]

Beginning of dementia. Short term memory goes first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beginning of dementia. Short term memory goes first.

Except it sounds like OPs mom addressed this behavior before she died, which was 10 years ago. She said her dad was just rude but nothing wrong with him. So it's not the beginning of dementia. Sounds like her dad has been like this for a long time. Enough for her mom to have noticed it before she died.

[Anonymous]

If he was always like this (and maybe with age it's gotten a little worse), he may have an ADHD/autistic profile.

If this is recent, then it's cognitive decline.

But it's not rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beginning of dementia. Short term memory goes first.

Except it sounds like OPs mom addressed this behavior before she died, which was 10 years ago. She said her dad was just rude but nothing wrong with him. So it's not the beginning of dementia. Sounds like her dad has been like this for a long time. Enough for her mom to have noticed it before she died.

Reading comprehension. Ouch.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beginning of dementia. Short term memory goes first.

Except it sounds like OPs mom addressed this behavior before she died, which was 10 years ago. She said her dad was just rude but nothing wrong with him. So it's not the beginning of dementia. Sounds like her dad has been like this for a long time. Enough for her mom to have noticed it before she died.

Reading comprehension. Ouch.

Perhaps PP has dementia as well.

Is current wife mentally fine? She may not see the decline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he was always like this (and maybe with age it's gotten a little worse), he may have an ADHD/autistic profile.

If this is recent, then it's cognitive decline.

But it's not rudeness.

This is super wise and I really appreciate it. I just googled ADHD/autistic profile and it describes him well, plus the start of cognitive decline. It's his current wife who characterizes his behavior as rude. My mother totally covered for him.

[Anonymous]

Elders over age 75 aside….

It’s rude.

It’s rude when they initially forget and it’s doubly rude when people teach them ways, methods and systems not to be so forgetful and they never implement them.
Then they are rude and irresponsible over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was always like this (and maybe with age it's gotten a little worse), he may have an ADHD/autistic profile.

If this is recent, then it's cognitive decline.

But it's not rudeness.

This is super wise and I really appreciate it. I just googled ADHD/autistic profile and it describes him well, plus the start of cognitive decline. It's his current wife who characterizes his behavior as rude. My mother totally covered for him.

So his whole life he’s been “forgetful” and “rudel and difficult to live with?

Yeah that’s a mental disorder.

[Anonymous]

Or just run of the mill selfish jerk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elders over age 75 aside….

It’s rude.

It’s rude when they initially forget and it’s doubly rude when people teach them ways, methods and systems not to be so forgetful and they never implement them.
Then they are rude and irresponsible over and over.

Or maybe they forget the “ways, methods and systems “.. Not everybody’s brain processes and retains information in the same ways, and not everyone has the same capacity. There’s no magic moment of demarcation that starts at age 75 either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was always like this (and maybe with age it's gotten a little worse), he may have an ADHD/autistic profile.

If this is recent, then it's cognitive decline.

But it's not rudeness.

This is super wise and I really appreciate it. I just googled ADHD/autistic profile and it describes him well, plus the start of cognitive decline. It's his current wife who characterizes his behavior as rude. My mother totally covered for him.

So his whole life he’s been “forgetful” and “rudel and difficult to live with?

Yeah that’s a mental disorder.

which one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elders over age 75 aside….

It’s rude.

It’s rude when they initially forget and it’s doubly rude when people teach them ways, methods and systems not to be so forgetful and they never implement them.
Then they are rude and irresponsible over and over.

Or maybe they forget the “ways, methods and systems “.. Not everybody’s brain processes and retains information in the same ways, and not everyone has the same capacity. There’s no magic moment of demarcation that starts at age 75 either.

Then they’re handicapped and should try to work with a therapy team on the basics.

My adhd & ASD family members have lists of what to turn off all over each room if their home, they no longer drive given anxiety at older ages, they only worked until age 50, they know their limits and “do the best with what they gave.”

But most are kind, which is required when you’re forgetful and not paying attention. One is “stubborn” and gets angry all the time. That makes things more difficult for him and anybody trying to put up with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or just run of the mill selfish jerk

What 77+ year old man isn't a bit of a selfish jerk with poor memory? My grandparents both became pretty self-involved at the end of their lives. They were suffering, and they reverted to an emotionally immature, childish version of themselves.