Once-A-Week Communication With College Kid Optimal??

[Anonymous]

We can’t turn back the clock 35 years and get rid of cell phones and re-install pay phones and answering machines. I wonder how often parents text with their college age kids. I’m trying to be careful to give my college sophomore space to be their own person and curb the temptation to ask how their day was, the way I might with a high schooler.

[Anonymous]

Just text your kid. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

I hear from mine a couple of times a week. I text them occasionally. If they checked in once a week, that would be fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Often but we talk abt it when they r home

[Anonymous]

My boys very rarely texted me - I would text them about once a week to say hi. My daughter texts me every day.

[Anonymous]

My DS is just settling in, so texts daily with comments and questions. I fully expect that to stop in the next couple of weeks.

[Anonymous]

My kids text me daily and like a FaceTime or phone call a few times a week

[Anonymous]

Face time 1x each week. 30-60 minutes

[Anonymous]

I try to not bother my college kid, but I also try to be quite responsive when she reaches out to me. She usually texts a couple times a week and maybe we talk once a week. But that really varies depending upon what’s going on with her.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a rule. I text when something comes up or when there is something I know might interest the boys. I facetime when I miss seeing their faces, but I check to make sure it's a good time first. They seem to follow a similar pattern. Sometimes I just text a picture of our pet doing something funny.

DH is a little different. He texts articles he thinks they'd be interested in, pops into the back ground to say Hi when he sees I'm facetiming them, and calls his mom once a week.

[Anonymous]

I was way more intentional with how much I reached out when my kids were fragile freshman. I really only waited until I heard from them for a while unless I knew they needed specific encouragement for something.

But by sophomore year I think nothing of calling or texting whenever.

[Anonymous]

I started emailing my kid a few times a week to tell her about my day. I don't. Expect.her to write back, but if she misses the minutia of home life, it's there for her to access.

[Anonymous]

We text all the time (one-on-one and as a family). Call or FT at his (the kid’s) request, probably once every couple of weeks?

Other son off to school next year and am guessing we’ll mainly communicate by text; he’s less chatty.

[Anonymous]

I send cat photos once or twice a week. And occasionally something funny, or that I think she might find interesting. And she does the same to us—something new she’s trying, something funny she saw, something she knew we’d appreciate. DH is more likely to ask about weekend plans and whatnot, but the response rate is about 50/50.

I did ask her to turn on read receipts, so I at least get proof of life even if she’s too busy to respond. She’s actually a terrible texter, even with her friends, so I don’t fuss too much unless I’ve asked a specific question.

We did try to work out one or two potential calling windows each semester, where she had no classes scheduled and her dad and I were both likely to be home. If she called, great. If not, it probably meant she was out having fun or doing homework. Both of which are very good things.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. My first two were very little contact during college. They were very independent during HS and didn’t share much then. Pattern continued in college. Mostly a check-in every few weeks and break coordination.

Third is an introvert and was also challenged with depression/anxiety during the pandemic. Not communicative at all, but we got a daily photo of the cat (proof of functioning) and a weekly 3 minute FaceTime before ordering takeout from somewhere. DC is a senior now, still introverted and just focused on classes, but will get there in their own time.