Do you show your boss you’re upset?

[Anonymous]

I am very much a doormat. I never say no etc and obviously I have bottled up emotions and anxiety from this.


Every one of my coworkers have days off except for me. I asked once and got turned down but really need to ask again for only 1 day off.
If I get turned down, do you think I should just be my doormat self or actually speak up *politely*.

[Anonymous]

You need to speak up. Otherwise, have fun being the doormat forever.

[Anonymous]

"Upset" seems like the wrong emotion here. Your issue seems more fundamental like perhaps you see yourself as less than the other coworkers. Work on believing you are equally entitled to a day off for a break, house repair, fun trip, or medical appointment as anyone else.

There may have been a logistical reason you couldn't get that one day off that has nothing to do with a comparison to your coworkers. I wouldn't bring them into it at all. If your request is rejected again, focus on you have earned the leave, which day out of a couple choices works best for you boss? (Assuming the reason you need it off is a bit flexible on timing.) But for you to speak up, you may need to convince yourself first (see above).

[Anonymous]

Being assertive isn't being upset. You can calmly maintain boundaries

[Anonymous]

I do, but I also have him on speed dial. He is very good at calming people down.
I'm about to take another 6 months off. I can do it because he wants me back be it for a month.
How valuable are you to the company? I save my boss a lot of money by just being there.

[Anonymous]

I do, in person and over email. But I work in a situation where many of us kind of take turns being the boss so it's more like a colleague who is currently sitting in the boss' chair.

[Anonymous]

I don't. My boss is not a people person. If I quit, or anyone else did in the next five minutes, he couldn't care less.

[Anonymous]

You already earned your day off. It’s part of your compensation. Don’t ask, tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being assertive isn't being upset. You can calmly maintain boundaries

This is what I was trying to get at in 7:54. OP, were you conditioned by your parents not to speak up, say if a restaurant messed up your order? If so, being "upset" was the only way left to express yourself, you likely watched them being upset about how unfair/stupid things were, and you may think everything happens TO you. Some things just happen. It's okay to say excuse me, I requested the butter on the side, and it's okay to say you earned the leave.