Go to different schools due to age gap

[Anonymous]

My 2 kids are 3 years apart. My oldest is 5th grader & my youngest is 2nd grader. My youngest feels sad after she realizes that she won't be able to be going to the same school and see her brother there for many years (she is by herself 3rd to 8th grade) at the end of current school year. At most she can see him at his senior year ( when she is 9th grade & he is 12 grade), then he goes off to college. That is a bit depressing for her to think about it. They will still see each other at home. She loves to feel his existence at the same school and she feels protected and more loved. What do sibling relationship look like when they no longer see each other at school due to age gap?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 5 years apart, and they were never in the same school, even for elementary, because they did a Montessori preschool that goes up to K. Then one of them went to a small primary school magnet and the other was out of cluster in another special program, so they were never in the same school building at the same time.

The only passing regret is now: my oldest is in college in Europe and my youngest is in high school.

Try to gently reason with your kid, OP. This is all part of normal life.

[Anonymous]

This is very common and younger siblings often think this way. In every case I know of (including in my own family), they worried about it before it happened, and then they were fine and pretty much forgot about it once that first school year apart started.

[Anonymous]

If this is very important to you and your kids, there are many private school options that go from elementary all the way through high school.

[Anonymous]

By the time it happens, your younger child will be over it and won’t really care.

[Anonymous]

Mine are the same age/grade. It's okay to feel a little sad, but it's your job to foster their relationship outside of school and build up your younger child's confidence to experience the world on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 kids are 3 years apart. My oldest is 5th grader & my youngest is 2nd grader. My youngest feels sad after she realizes that she won't be able to be going to the same school and see her brother there for many years (she is by herself 3rd to 8th grade) at the end of current school year. At most she can see him at his senior year ( when she is 9th grade & he is 12 grade), then he goes off to college. That is a bit depressing for her to think about it. They will still see each other at home. She loves to feel his existence at the same school and she feels protected and more loved. What do sibling relationship look like when they no longer see each other at school due to age gap?

Nice job parenting.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 5 school years apart. They had part of one year at the same school in K & 5th (then everything shut down for Covid).
This is really not a big deal and will be true for most sibling sets. Kids don’t normally get much a chance to see their siblings at school (unless they are twins) anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 kids are 3 years apart. My oldest is 5th grader & my youngest is 2nd grader. My youngest feels sad after she realizes that she won't be able to be going to the same school and see her brother there for many years (she is by herself 3rd to 8th grade) at the end of current school year. At most she can see him at his senior year ( when she is 9th grade & he is 12 grade), then he goes off to college. That is a bit depressing for her to think about it. They will still see each other at home. She loves to feel his existence at the same school and she feels protected and more loved. What do sibling relationship look like when they no longer see each other at school due to age gap?

Sibling closeness is more about temperaments, competition, and common interests. Even siblings who are one year apart can be cold and distant if they like different activities and are always competing for most favored status. Try to reward them for working together and don't play favorites.

[Anonymous]

This too shall pass. Meaning, she will get over it.

[Anonymous]

You are making a big deal about nothing. Who was there to protect your older child and make him feel loved when he was there all alone in K? Think about it and hopefully you will have get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

2nd grade girls are very sensitive often as they navigate new friendships etc. it's right about the age you start seeing yourself how the world does and now just how you do from the inside. She will be ok by the time she's in 5th and has friends and interests of her own.
I have the same gap with my kids and they are doing ok. They are the same gender and share a room still which helps the closeness a little bit. I'll separate them when one of them requests it, but in 6 and 3rd it's not come up yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 kids are 3 years apart. My oldest is 5th grader & my youngest is 2nd grader. My youngest feels sad after she realizes that she won't be able to be going to the same school and see her brother there for many years (she is by herself 3rd to 8th grade) at the end of current school year. At most she can see him at his senior year ( when she is 9th grade & he is 12 grade), then he goes off to college. That is a bit depressing for her to think about it. They will still see each other at home. She loves to feel his existence at the same school and she feels protected and more loved. What do sibling relationship look like when they no longer see each other at school due to age gap?

Nice job parenting.

No it’s strange and not good emotionally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the time it happens, your younger child will be over it and won’t really care.

This. She's young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 kids are 3 years apart. My oldest is 5th grader & my youngest is 2nd grader. My youngest feels sad after she realizes that she won't be able to be going to the same school and see her brother there for many years (she is by herself 3rd to 8th grade) at the end of current school year. At most she can see him at his senior year ( when she is 9th grade & he is 12 grade), then he goes off to college. That is a bit depressing for her to think about it. They will still see each other at home. She loves to feel his existence at the same school and she feels protected and more loved. What do sibling relationship look like when they no longer see each other at school due to age gap?

Nice job parenting.

No it’s strange and not good emotionally

I think that was sarcasm. It is weird. Mine are six years apart and never gave it a thought