Give me a standard response for nosy people

[Anonymous]

I’m coming up for air after a soul-crushing divorce. I am poor and struggling to start over, my kids do have what they need. Ex-DH is rich and successful. I am doing nearly all of the parenting. I have moved far from my old neighborhood and the life I built.

I need to take the kids to a big party where lots of families and adults will be hosted by friends from their old private school.

I feel like I will die on the spot just anticipating it, but my kids really need to keep this connection to their friends and a few of their friends’ parents, especially the dads.

Give me a response to the “how are you DOING?” questions and “where did you MOVE?” And “did you not want the house?” comments that less-close friends and acquaintances are going to corner me with, because people had similar things to say at another event and I froze and left early and a friend drove my kids home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m coming up for air after a soul-crushing divorce. I am poor and struggling to start over, my kids do have what they need. Ex-DH is rich and successful. I am doing nearly all of the parenting. I have moved far from my old neighborhood and the life I built.

I need to take the kids to a big party where lots of families and adults will be hosted by friends from their old private school.

I feel like I will die on the spot just anticipating it, but my kids really need to keep this connection to their friends and a few of their friends’ parents, especially the dads.

Give me a response to the “how are you DOING?” questions and “where did you MOVE?” And “did you not want the house?” comments that less-close friends and acquaintances are going to corner me with, because people had similar things to say at another event and I froze and left early and a friend drove my kids home.

I would just say we are doing fine and change the subject.

[Anonymous]

How are you DOING: "It was an amazing summer! We had a blast. How was your summer?"
Where did you MOVE: "We're so happy in the cutest little place in XYZ. It's just perfect for us. How was your summer?"

EFF all of them. Every last one. Good for you and congrats on dropping the dead weight.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you shouldn't go if you are going to be tripped up with ordinary chit chat.

[Anonymous]

You could also say, we are doing good. Had a fantastic summer and now looking forward to the school year. How are you all doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you DOING: "It was an amazing summer! We had a blast. How was your summer?"
Where did you MOVE: "We're so happy in the cutest little place in XYZ. It's just perfect for us. How was your summer?"

EFF all of them. Every last one. Good for you and congrats on dropping the dead weight.

+1

[Anonymous]

No prenup?da hell

[Anonymous]

"Brian and I divorced at the end of the summer so I'm getting used to a new normal. I don't want to get into the details, but would rather just enjoy catching up with you - how was your summer?"

[Anonymous]

we're doing okay, you? and move on- get them talking about themselves to deflect.

alternatively if these are people you have some relationship with, you could email them an update (or send one through a friend), say you are looking forward to the gathering, and that you prefer to focus on having a good time and don't want to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Can’t you just say “larlo screwed me over, so i live in a shack”. Then wait for about 20 seconds of awkward silence and then throw them a lifeline and ask how their summer was?

They’d certainly never bring it up again after that. And everyone can talk shit about larlo later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you just say “larlo screwed me over, so i live in a shack”. Then wait for about 20 seconds of awkward silence and then throw them a lifeline and ask how their summer was?

They’d certainly never bring it up again after that. And everyone can talk shit about larlo later.

Lol. 20:41 is the way it should be done, but your way is what comes naturally.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think it is beyond rude that these people would even think it is acceptable to even ask these types of questions.

I would let them know w/a smile that I was not “at liberty” to discuss my divorce w/anyone then continue smiling while changing the subject at hand.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, don't answer those questions.

I would do this - someone says

"I'm so sorry to hear turkey-head divorced you, you poor thing"

Pause, look at them, say "we had a great summer, how about you?"

Anything that is completely unrelated. Do not answer any questions you don't want to answer.

You can always say "oh do excuse me I need to find the bathroom" etc

[Anonymous]

Also, you can always ask questions back like

"Oh are you going through a divorce now, or planning to?"

Put them on the f-king spot.

[Anonymous]

Carolyn Hax would suggest you say, "Why do you ask?" or "Wow!" (I think that only applies to "Did you not want to keep the house?" or maybe, "Are the kids in private school in your new neighborhood?") I have never said it because I wasn't confident that people would actually realize I'm saying they are being rude! I think the people in my circle would say something like, "I'm just curious" and then wait for my answer.