Therapist for Major Injury

[Anonymous]

Oddly specific request but my son’s physical therapist suggested that we consider a therapist to help him deal with the major setback of ACL tear right before senior year of soccer with scholarship in jeopardy. He is worried if son doesn’t work through the mental part, his hopelessness/shitty attitude/anger will prevent him from recovery well. The PT is pretty grueling and he’s having to basically learn to walk again. Any suggestions? Aside from this, he has always been well adjusted but this is his first big life event of this kind d.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’ll begin this by saying I don’t have a reference for you. But I have been there. My kid had a bad accident just before senior year of high school. Had been a varsity athlete, team captain and athletic recruit at college. Suddenly all of that ended, abruptly replaced a new world where they coukdnt pee or bathe without assistance and simply learning to take steps again was a months-long goal.

It’s a massive rupture not only physically, but also in the way the kid sees themself and the world. If athletics are a big part of their identity, and they get injured, who are they? And if this random crappy thing can happen out of the blue, what else can happen? Nothing is the way it’s “supposed” to be, they feel vulnerable, and the whole thing is attached to massive existential questions.

I can’t say we found a great therapist for the days after — we tried, but it didn’t go great. DC wasn’t ready, and I’m not sure it was a fit. But I do know that the most helpful thing I did as a parent was probably to just sit with DC in that dark space of “yes, this sucks, it sucks so hard, and attached to this suck is a whole world of other potential suck that no one can protect you from.” No looking on the bright side (“hey, you’re alive!”) without simultaneously being willing to hold the darkness (“you are mortal and vulnerable and things that matter to you can and sometimes do vanish in an instant, and no you might never be the sane.”). Only after the hard stuff really set in could we start the process of saying “So here’s the new starting point. Now what?”

I don’t know if this helps, and I apologize that it’s not what you need. But this is hard, and I wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend https://www.thecalmingmind.com/team/nate-luongo%2C-lcsw-c.

I also want to say that we have BTDT. One thing is my son used sports as a way to manage his anxiety and when he didn't have sports, he had to find another outlet... ended up being fishing but you might want to find a way to manage <fill in the blank> now that sports are not the the way.

My son also entered senior year without a scholarship and at the final moment got a preferred walk on offer.. no scholarship... it was heartbreaking, but he walked on, made the team, got a scholarship and was all American.

It sounds so trite but this is going to be a huge growing experience.

[Anonymous]

OP-- has your son had his surgery yet? My kid, also a serious athlete, is about to have ACL surgery and is also a rising senior. I wonder if a peer support group might be better than a therapist so they know they're not alone??

[Anonymous]

I'm actually hoping to run a group for injured teen athletes this fall, if you are interested. I am a therapist in bethesda, previous college level athlete who experienced injury, surgery, recovery.
https://www.calmingcurrentspsych.com/group-for-injured-high-school-athletes

[Anonymous]

How could it hurt?

Sports psychologists are a thing.

[Anonymous]

I second a peer support group over a therapist as well. I think it will have more of an impact to have peers who have BTDT give him advice vs an adult he may not connect with.

FWIW, I get it. My junior year of college I suffered a back injury that not only ended my college sports career but basically ended the possibility of me being able to do that sport on a recreational level. I know that anger and hopelessness well and how it can easily derail your progress.