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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’ll begin this by saying I don’t have a reference for you. But I have been there. My kid had a bad accident just before senior year of high school. Had been a varsity athlete, team captain and athletic recruit at college. Suddenly all of that ended, abruptly replaced a new world where they coukdnt pee or bathe without assistance and simply learning to take steps again was a months-long goal.

It’s a massive rupture not only physically, but also in the way the kid sees themself and the world. If athletics are a big part of their identity, and they get injured, who are they? And if this random crappy thing can happen out of the blue, what else can happen? Nothing is the way it’s “supposed” to be, they feel vulnerable, and the whole thing is attached to massive existential questions.

I can’t say we found a great therapist for the days after — we tried, but it didn’t go great.  DC wasn’t ready, and I’m not sure it was a fit.  But I do know that the most helpful thing I did as a parent was probably to just sit with DC in that dark space of “yes, this sucks, it sucks so hard, and attached to this suck is a whole world of other potential suck that no one can protect you from.” No looking on the bright side (“hey, you’re alive!”) without simultaneously being willing to hold the darkness (“you are mortal and vulnerable and things that matter to you can and sometimes do vanish in an instant, and no you might never be the sane.”). Only after the hard stuff really set in could we start the process of saying “So here’s the new starting point. Now what?”

I don’t know if this helps, and I apologize that it’s not what you need. But this is hard, and I wish you luck. [/quote]

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