5-to-6-year age gap for kids? How was it?
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Anonymous
| For those who have two kids with a 5- or 6-year age gap, how was it? |
Anonymous
| 5 year gap here. It was okay, though I often felt like the younger one got the short end of the stick, since I was always dragging her to DC1's various events.Took a long time for them to become "friends", but they're also VERY different people, so it's hard to say how much was the age gap, and how much was the fact they were just polar opposites by nature. And they got there eventually. The older they get, the less those 5 years matter. |
Anonymous
Just perfect. There was no sibling rivalry, as the oldest kid wanted a little sibling and was very protective (and helpful). They were into different stuff so they each got their own space and attention. They are very close to each other and each other's cheerleaders. The college years was easy to fund because did not have two kids in college at the same time. |
Anonymous
This is our experience. Kids get along great without sibling rivalry. I initially stressed so much about this age gap but it hasn't been an issue. |
Anonymous
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Mine are 20 and 15. The age gap was necessary and it was also great.
My oldest was born premature with special needs, and the first years of his life were spent dealing with feeding therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. When he was able to start preschool, we thought about having another. They turned out to be 5 years apart. There were no problems bringing infant DC2 to DC2's activities, and then later on, getting them to attend each other's performances and recitals, because they're both patient and quiet. We felt we could each given them individual attention. They're complete opposites in character and personality, not competitive with each other, and not possessive with toys. The twist is that despite the 5 year difference, and due to DC1's learning differences and ADHD/ASD, DC2 was able to catch up to and surpass DC1 in motor skills and academic abilities, but it's his nature not to be jealous. They've always been very supportive of each other. They shared a room when they were little until his big kid schedule interfered with her earlier bedtime. And now our oldest is in college, our youngest is in high school, and we're glad we still have a bit of time before they're both out of the nest. |
Anonymous
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Mine are 7 years apart. Both boys and growing up they were interested in the same things, types of activities. Younger one wanted to do everything his older brother did, which made for stressful times. They’re adults now and get along much better than I expected.
The gap wasn’t intentional but when it came to financing college, it was doable without either one graduating with debt. |
Anonymous
| NP. Mine are almost 5 years apart and young adults now. I loved the age gap mostly, but was not prepared for how much the younger child mourned when the older one went to college, and how guilty the older one felt about leaving. They are the best of friends and the grief was real. To this day (young adult) they both wish they could have overlapped a year in high school. They are very close as young adults. |
Anonymous
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I have a sibling 6 years older (R) and a sibling 8 years younger (B) so I can give the kids’ perspective as older and younger in a big age gap.
R and I fought (verbally) constantly. Seems surprising, but we weren’t fighting over stuff. I mostly fought his authority over me. We were latchkey kids. He wasn’t the nicest older brother, he would order me around, try to make me do things for him, silly things. I had a list of grievances for my parents every day. For example, Parents gave chores like: R is responsible for cleaning the kitchen on Monday, me on Tuesday. R would wait until Monday at midnight to cook an elaborate meal and claim those as Tuesday’s dishes because it was after midnight. I didn’t fight with B but I resented having to babysit all the time, so I wasn’t nice to him, lol. But we all 3 have a great relationship now, despite all that childhood bickering. So I say go for it! Don’t make them babysit one another all the time! I don’t blame my parents for that; it was financial necessity, but avoid it if you can. |
Anonymous
| Mine have a six year gap and I’ve had no problems. They have cousins who live close by. My daughter has two girl cousins who are her age. My son has two cousins close in age although they are closer to my side of the family and those cousins. It’s been working out very well for me. |
Anonymous
| It's great! Built in babysitter. |
Anonymous
| My brother and I are 5 years apart, and my mom said it was perfect for my parents. They got to fully experience everything with both of us without overlap. We have always been close. |
Anonymous
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I am a sibling with this age gap on either sides. I am sure there are pluses, but I a give some negatives that you should think about side stepping.
The older siblings advice was taken by my parents too often. You need to remember that 5 years is enough time for things to change - things will change at school, with sports programs, how you take the SATs and drivers ed, which colleges are appropriate. The younger one does get dragged around a lot, but some of that is fun. I would say what is less fun is being older and it being the first time for both of you doing something. From both sides, it's hard seeing your parents more lax with the next kid. we are close now but there were periods of fighting and sibling rivalry. I wish we were closer in age, but you get what life gives you. |
Anonymous
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Not ideal. I have two close together in age (18 months apart), then a third 5 yrs younger than middle child. The close age gap was WAY easier- after baby days. They are more or less at the same developmental phase, could go to same activities, were doing similar school work, were best friends and played together constantly.
The larger age gap is easier initially. Older kids are in school and just have one baby at home. But one older kids get in upper elementary school- afternoons get very busy with sports and extracurriculars. Weekends too. That makes having a child much younger hard |
Anonymous
| I have an 8-year age gap due to reasons beyond our control. There are pros and cons. The biggest pro is that the kids got a lot of attention when they were little (the oldest was pretty independent when the youngest came). I wish we'd had them closer together so they could play together - I think they'd have a closer relationship - but life! |
Anonymous
Agree that much changes in 5 yrs. The school you loves for you older child(ren), might be completely different with many staff change over by the time the youngest is school age. This goes for all things that you liked and worked for the older kids. You have to figure out parenting all over again with big age gaps |