is private school like giving your kid organic fruit?

[Anonymous]

Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

[Anonymous]

My kid is happier at his private than he was in public because the curriculum is more interesting, there is more participation in class discussions, and teachers do a better job of differentiating (not because they are better teachers but because there is less of a range within the class). I don't know or care if it will impact college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty patient with the masturbatory navel-gazing on these boards but this is a lot

😂

[Anonymous]

I’d say I wouldn’t believe any data that suggested small let class sizes don’t matter. I’d REALLY have to investigate that data to believe it. My two cents. Ppl can make data say anything you want - it’s really about methodology and transparency. And the source of course!

[Anonymous]

The largest class i taught last year was fifteen students. At public schools, the number is closer to 30. That's one of major benefits of private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Even possible your kids may end up lower ranked schools than public kids. Don't think your kids will end up at least as good as public kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

But, you will actually have to do as much supplementing (if not more) in private. Curriculum, pedagogy and teacher qualification in even worse than public.

What privates are great for - smaller classrooms, richer demographics, less discipline issues, more expensive ECs like horseriding, rowing. What they are worse for - STEM, curriculum.

So, it is like you decided to eat organic onions and potatoes...but you are buying all your berries and greens from non-organic sources, and your protein from Aldis and Lidl.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think unless your local public is really really below average bad and/or your kid is above average weird or below average smart it’s a complete waste of money to send a kid to private. Especially if you yourself are educated and have money. If you are then your kid starts on third base regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

But, you will actually have to do as much supplementing (if not more) in private. Curriculum, pedagogy and teacher qualification in even worse than public.

What privates are great for - smaller classrooms, richer demographics, less discipline issues, more expensive ECs like horseriding, rowing. What they are worse for - STEM, curriculum.

So, it is like you decided to eat organic onions and potatoes...but you are buying all your berries and greens from non-organic sources, and your protein from Aldis and Lidl.

The stem curriculum might be less accelerated, but it has definitely not been our experience that it's a worse curriculum. Science and social studies especially are more interesting and deeper, they read more books in English and discuss them more thoughtfully, and math is more about thinking and analyzing rather than a rush to calculus. We do no supplementing.

So this depends on the private school and how you define a "better" curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Geneticist here: the risks of pesticides and fertilizers are long-term. They elevate cancer risks and are possible endocrine disruptors. You're fine now. Maybe you won't be fine later. You don't know that yet. Maybe you, personally, are not genetically predisposed to be sensitive to pesticides, but perhaps someone else is, and for them eating non-organic will cause a cancer that they otherwise would not have developed. Since we don't yet have the capacity to screen people at birth and understand exactly how pesticides alter which genetic pathway in the human body... we cannot tell who is more at risk.

Regarding private vs public, some thoughts from a BTDT parent:

1. EVERY elementary school, public or private, caters to the lowest level in the class, because they need to get the kids to read and write and count. So if you have higher standards than the absolute basic minimum, you supplement in elementary. This is what I did, and what a lot of parents do, regardless of the school. At the secondary level, it's a completely different ball game.

2. In my wealthy neighborhood that's 50% private, 50% public, all the kids gets tutors or test prep at some point, usually middle or high school. It's a function of wealth and understanding how the system works: sometimes it's remedial, sometimes it's to get ahead. But it's definitely a rich people thing.

3. If your public is terrible, of course a private is justified. But we chose to move to a wealthy neighborhood with a good public so we could have a nice house in a lovely neighborhood. Our property has appreciated significantly, and home values in such districts are always more stable than in lower-performing school districts. We were also able to invest in the stock market all these years, instead of spending too much money for K-12 education, which now allows us to pay for any college, public or private, for our kids. So choosing public, real estate and where to spend/invest our money was a carefully thought out decision.

[Anonymous]

In my community, supplementing, enriching, accelerating in Arts, Music, Math, FL and ELA, Social Science and Science, Religious studies, socialization, ECs - all start happening very much from the time kids are 3 years old or younger.

My niece is just 3. She already can speak both English and our native language, has travelled to different countries, can play "happy birthday" tune on her electric synthasizer, knows her ABCs and 123s, knows all her nursery rhymes, knows the country, capital names for around 20 countries, can match flags to countries for the same 20 countries, can identify- animals, birds and insects, goes for swimming, baby golf, and gymnastics, can paint, model from clay, has excellent pattern recognition in puzzles.

[Anonymous]

I think first class vs economy is probably the best of those analogies.

[Anonymous]

My children attend private school and to me, it has absolutely nothing to do with where they end up in college, but more to do with their teen years and the environment that they are in right now.

[Anonymous]

✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Yeah that maybe but they all get to the same destination. You just pay more.