Temporary Nanny or Au Pair

[Anonymous]

I'm a BigLaw litigator and a single mother to a 3rd grade boy
. (Father is completely out of the picture by his choice, but I can't say that I'm at all disappointed.)

With school aftercare and extended family, we actually do ok most of the time. However, within the next 24 months, I will have several 1 to 2 week periods when I will be working 80+ hours per week. What's worse is that 2 of those periods coincide with school breaks. Sh**!

Question: is it possible to hire a nanny/au pair/full-time babysitter for blocks of weeks and, if so, what can I expect to pay?

[Anonymous]

You'll need multiple caregivers. Au pairs can't do overnights so you could do an au pair + nanny, two nannies, or nanny + day camp.

I'd consider if your son can go stay with a relative for weeks when there's no school.

[Anonymous]

Sleep away camp may be a good option for any summer periods.

[Anonymous]

No you can’t hire an au pair like that. They come for a year and live with you on a J1 visa.
If you have the space it might be worth getting one and not doing aftercare. This provides more flexibility for after school activities and needing varying hours.
Officially they can’t work overnight, but if you offer extra cash most would if given the option. I was an au pair many years ago and generally worked only 30 hours a week. Every now and again a parent was traveling and I did 50 hours a week but it was rare and I felt appreciated so it was all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No you can’t hire an au pair like that. They come for a year and live with you on a J1 visa.
If you have the space it might be worth getting one and not doing aftercare. This provides more flexibility for after school activities and needing varying hours.
Officially they can’t work overnight, but if you offer extra cash most would if given the option. I was an au pair many years ago and generally worked only 30 hours a week. Every now and again a parent was traveling and I did 50 hours a week but it was rare and I felt appreciated so it was all good.

It's really not okay to try to pay for more au pair hours. That violates their visa terms, your host family contract and puts the program in jeopardy. Just don't do it. There a lot of risk if you're reported. It's better just to get an actual nanny for overnights or use friends/relatives.

We love hosting an au pair and it's great for extra support. And an au pair can cover up to 45 of the hours OP needs (but not overnight), but she'll need other care too to get up to 80+ hours.

[Anonymous]

You can hire a temp nanny for those time periods. The rate would depend on experience level, the exact hours needed, location, and several other factors. For daytime care (like 8am-5/6pm) in the DMV, I’d plan on rates being around $30-$40/hr + for temp work. If you need off hours or overtime, it would be more. For overnights, many nannies will accept a flat overnight rate for sleeping hours plus their regular rate for awake hours.

It may be hard to find someone for just 1-2 weeks with a lot of notice. I’d suggest looking through an agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No you can’t hire an au pair like that. They come for a year and live with you on a J1 visa.
If you have the space it might be worth getting one and not doing aftercare. This provides more flexibility for after school activities and needing varying hours.
Officially they can’t work overnight, but if you offer extra cash most would if given the option. I was an au pair many years ago and generally worked only 30 hours a week. Every now and again a parent was traveling and I did 50 hours a week but it was rare and I felt appreciated so it was all good.

OP is a lawyer and your are suggesting that she do something illegal? I hope she has a higher life of ethics than you and your former host family. Both of you should have been reported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you can’t hire an au pair like that. They come for a year and live with you on a J1 visa.
If you have the space it might be worth getting one and not doing aftercare. This provides more flexibility for after school activities and needing varying hours.
Officially they can’t work overnight, but if you offer extra cash most would if given the option. I was an au pair many years ago and generally worked only 30 hours a week. Every now and again a parent was traveling and I did 50 hours a week but it was rare and I felt appreciated so it was all good.

OP is a lawyer and your are suggesting that she do something illegal? I hope she has a higher life of ethics than you and your former host family. Both of you should have been reported.

🏹 are you sh**ing me? The President of the United States is accepting a $450,000,000 personal "gift" from an Arab country, and you think anyone would care about an au pair making an extra 100 bucks? Oh, pleeeeze, the days of compliance are a relic of history.

[Anonymous]

Just hire a live in nanny. Life will be much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you can’t hire an au pair like that. They come for a year and live with you on a J1 visa.
If you have the space it might be worth getting one and not doing aftercare. This provides more flexibility for after school activities and needing varying hours.
Officially they can’t work overnight, but if you offer extra cash most would if given the option. I was an au pair many years ago and generally worked only 30 hours a week. Every now and again a parent was traveling and I did 50 hours a week but it was rare and I felt appreciated so it was all good.

It's really not okay to try to pay for more au pair hours. That violates their visa terms, your host family contract and puts the program in jeopardy. Just don't do it. There a lot of risk if you're reported. It's better just to get an actual nanny for overnights or use friends/relatives.

We love hosting an au pair and it's great for extra support. And an au pair can cover up to 45 of the hours OP needs (but not overnight), but she'll need other care too to get up to 80+ hours.

If OP isn't traveling, an au pair, plus spring break camp or something like it, and a weekend day with extended family might be perfect.

I agree that OP might find that an au pair beats aftercare, and makes things run more smoothly.

[Anonymous]

For God sakes you’re a big litigator and a single mom. You need a permanent nanny who can work flexible hours, depending on when you need them. get to work finding that.

[Anonymous]

I’available contact me at:

[e-mail]

Available as early as September 5th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For God sakes you’re a big litigator and a single mom. You need a permanent nanny who can work flexible hours, depending on when you need them. get to work finding that.

I was going to say the same thing. And totally not in a non judgmental way at all. I think you should just focus on finding a great nanny that you want to have with you for the next 2-3 years. Give her guaranteed 40 hours a week and you can use her for housekeeping and other things to make everyone’s life easier and smoother. I bet you’ll be so relieved when you find someone! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For God sakes you’re a big litigator and a single mom. You need a permanent nanny who can work flexible hours, depending on when you need them. get to work finding that.

I was going to say the same thing. And totally not in a non judgmental way at all. I think you should just focus on finding a great nanny that you want to have with you for the next 2-3 years. Give her guaranteed 40 hours a week and you can use her for housekeeping and other things to make everyone’s life easier and smoother. I bet you’ll be so relieved when you find someone! Good luck.

+1 People don't hire nannies because they need them, all the time every work day. They hire them because they have the money and need someone when they can't be there. As a single parent you need that--it's going to be difficult to cobble together reliable babysitters who are at your beck and call at the moment you decide you're going to have a difficult work week.