When do you stop enforcing bed time

[Anonymous]

My 15yo has a bad habit of staying up very late. He has been like this since he was a baby and we had wild bed time battles. The last couple of nights I have been up early in the mornings (because the dogs have been barking at foxes) and caught him on his phone or reading a book. We make all the kids leave their phone in the kitchen at night so he’s clearly taking back his phone after I go to bed. Is this a time for natural consequences or should I continue to fight this fight? FWIW he’s pretty good about getting up in the morning.

[Anonymous]

I don't police my 15 year old's bed time but I do make sure the phone is gone. Find some other way to stay up all night. Fine with me. It's not going to be on a phone.

Move the phones to charge on your night stand.

[Anonymous]

My youngest is 14 and I don’t remember when I stopped enforcing her bedtime, so it has been years. I was much stricter with my oldest but still wasn’t enforcing a bedtime at 15.

With my oldest, we had some big battles and went to natural consequences. There were some hard lessons learned by DS and by us that paved the way for more relaxed parenting for the younger kids.

But if you really want to take electronics, charge them in your bedroom. That’s parenting 101. And cut the WiFi. Even the 8 year olds are getting up to sneak the iPads in the kitchen, mom.

My biggest rule is that they have to get up for whatever they need to do the next day and the bigger rule is that they can’t keep me up at night. That by far is #1. So I don’t care when they go to bed, but no late night loud calls, loud gaming, cooking and now driving past a certain time because I can’t sleep.

[Anonymous]

We remind our teens about the importance of good sleep habits, but we don't have a bed time. We encourage them to track how much sleep they are getting. We also crack down if they are keeping us awake.

If any of them have trouble getting up or make anyone else late in the morning, we nag them about bed time for a few nights in a row.

[Anonymous]

Can he get up on time *and* not be unduly irritable, or falling asleep in class (ask the teachers), or needing to sleep all day on weekends?

[Anonymous]

Charge phones in your room, duh.

Otherwise impose natural consequences. If they can still wake up and complete what needs to be done, you probably dont need to police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15yo has a bad habit of staying up very late. He has been like this since he was a baby and we had wild bed time battles. The last couple of nights I have been up early in the mornings (because the dogs have been barking at foxes) and caught him on his phone or reading a book. We make all the kids leave their phone in the kitchen at night so he’s clearly taking back his phone after I go to bed. Is this a time for natural consequences or should I continue to fight this fight? FWIW he’s pretty good about getting up in the morning.

You should of course have consequences for taking the phone back, since that's a house rule. I think reading is OK, I often get up and read when I can't sleep.
You may also rethink things when he starts to drive. An exhausted teen driver is at higher risk for an accident.

[Anonymous]

Around age 7/8. They don’t need you to tell them when they’re tired. The phone is another issue, put it in a safe if you don’t want them to have it after a certain time and they aren’t listening.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, absolute no on the phone, and there should be consequences.

We absolutely enforce bedtime althoughbwe don’t have to for the older one still at home. 15 yr old DC has a demanding schedule with travel sports, so he mostly gets it. Sometimes he tries to stay up late playing video games. We make him go to bed at a reasonable hour, he’s still 1/2 child and discounts how he’s gonna feel the next day. It’s our job to remind him.

[Anonymous]

It's summer. I don't care. They have a month left. 11 and 15.

[Anonymous]

Mine is 13 and I still enforce bedtime. It’s currently in bed 830ish and light out between 930/945. This is assumimg we’re at home on a normal night. She stays up later on vacation or if doing something specific.
Phone and all electronics including chrome book charge in my room at night starting at 830.
She’s got ADHD and doesnt always make good choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and I still enforce bedtime. It’s currently in bed 830ish and light out between 930/945. This is assumimg we’re at home on a normal night. She stays up later on vacation or if doing something specific.
Phone and all electronics including chrome book charge in my room at night starting at 830.
She’s got ADHD and doesnt always make good choices.

She’s in middle school and it’s not even dark at 8:30. It’s the summer. Why so early?

[Anonymous]

If my rule for phone was that it was plugged in in the kitchen, and it wasn’t still plugged in in the kitchen in the morning I would declare it lost in Find My Phone.

When I got around to turning it back on, it would start living in my bedroom overnight.

I might or might not enforce a bedtime, the summer is a good time to learn from natural consequences, but the phone would be a bright line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and I still enforce bedtime. It’s currently in bed 830ish and light out between 930/945. This is assumimg we’re at home on a normal night. She stays up later on vacation or if doing something specific.
Phone and all electronics including chrome book charge in my room at night starting at 830.
She’s got ADHD and doesnt always make good choices.

She’s in middle school and it’s not even dark at 8:30. It’s the summer. Why so early?

Because she never reads out of choice. So the solution we came up with is reading 45-60 mins at bedtime.
She wakes up around 7/730

[Anonymous]

I still do for 14 14-year-olds because they otherwise are on their phone all night and sometimes have accidents because they drink too much sugary juice, Gatorade, or whatever they can find in the same.