Did you wish you listened to your parents about college?
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Anonymous
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Does your kid listen to you and take your advice about where to go and how to go about the college process?
Mine won’t. I am going to hire a counselor to help with her process next year. It’s that bad. She thinks she knows it all. For the most part, I listened to my parents but that was ages ago; kids reflected on their parent’s advice, finances, and concern more then. You? Your spouse? |
Anonymous
My parents never gave me advice so I can't relate. You can tell your kid what you can afford but honestly isn't it a relief not to make the decision? It is not your life but,your kids. Just tell them what you can or cannot afford and let them figure it out. |
Anonymous
| No. My parents said they just wanted me to go to college and not Local State. It was fine. None of this matters as much as you think but the counselor is much better equipped to give advice. |
Anonymous
| I did not listen. I used my own money for the application fee for a school my parents deemed unacceptable and unaffordable. I got a 75% scholarship and went there, still against their wishes because they thought it cost too much. I don't regret it and do have a good relationship with my parents today. |
Anonymous
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All students should listen to their parents on budget. Parents should let the child know early if there are either budget restrictions or certain colleges you will not pay for over the in-state options. We had no budget but were clear very early regarding the list of private schools we would invest in outside of College of William Mary and Uva. If those had been "reaches" they would have applied to easier in-state options as backups.
Outside of those parameters, why not let them pick where to apply and then where to attend, among all acceptances? We did not offer other advice and we had no counselor outside the school's counseling office. They advised on a balanced list based on the school's Scoir data. My parent had a tight budget and I knew it early. As a high need family I got a lot of aid at T10 even decades ago. I would have qualified for free these days. |
Anonymous
| My Boomer parents were total idiots about college. Glad I didn't listen to their advice. What advice are you giving? |
Anonymous
It was a very different time. I pretty much got my information about colleges from books and the glossy brochure colleges mailed to me, the default was staying close by and a somewhat decent student would likely get into the state flagship. If your kid is actually invested and doing the legwork and you’ve given your parameters what is the concern? Where are they going off track? What information are they hearing from the high school college counselor? Usually the issue I hear is the opposite where they are showing no interest in the college process and it’s not because they are looking at a trade/career that doesn’t require college. It’s a question of when are they are willing to engage and if by that point it limits possible options. |
Anonymous
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No, because my parents didn’t believe women should go to college.
Also, I tried to give my oldest advice, but he ended up in a much better situation that I could’ve ever imagined. I’m glad he ignored me. |
Anonymous
| My parents were new immigrants to this country and were clueless of the process. They just wanted me to go in state (UMD) and they were adamant about not paying for room and board since it was only 35 minutes away by car. I wish I had someone to guide me better. I'm doing that now for my rising senior and she tells me how lucky she is since a few of her friends don't have parents who do that. |
Anonymous
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I don't remember my parents giving much advice about college and they did a pretty good job letting me choose where and provided the financial support to do so. I remember pouring through the books about schools and visiting a few. I can't imagine how my husband was like. He definitely listened to his parents, when asking how he chose his school he said "my father told me to apply" so he did. Granted his father was a college professor, but I still can't imagine being passive.
It will be interesting to see how it plays out with our kids. It seems like we have one of each - one with strong opinions and another who has little interest in schools. |
Anonymous
| My parents didn’t want me to go to a school that required loans, but my dream school did, I paid them off quickly after graduation and now make $750k/yr in a job I love so no. |
Anonymous
| It depends on the parents. But, no, my parents did everything and I only got say between two schools. I picked the furthest to get away from them. I hated the small school. It was a commuter school that was very conservative. I transferred mid sophomore year, again their choice of schools but much happier at a bigger school with more opportunities. |
Anonymous
| Mine gave me zero advice. I could have used some. |
Anonymous
Same here…in fact mine asked in like March of my senior year if I had even applied to college. Of course I reminded him he had written three checks for application fees…but he had just given me three checks to fill out. I do appreciate that in the good old days, applying to five colleges was a lot and the most you would hear anyone doing. |
Anonymous
| I listened to my parents and then got mad at them for ‘leading me’. They were right |