Legal docs to get in place before leaving for college

[Anonymous]

A friend's 18yo child was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, and although she was a physician, she could not get any information from the hospital.

To avoid such a scenario, she said certain legal documents need to be in place.

Could anyone provide info on what exact documents and where to find them? I think HIPPA and medical power of attorney?

Can I just find them online and discuss them with my adult children and have them signed before leaving for college? Have others done this?

[Anonymous]

There’s this site called Mama Bear that has the forms you’re looking for.

We did it before college and took them to ups to be notarized. Pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

We used Mama Bear forms. Medical POA, Financial POA, HIPPA, and FERPA ($75). We ordered sets for our home state and college state (no charge for second set). Downloaded them and got them notarized at UPS ($20). There’s an app so you can store and access copies easily on your phone. You can get these forms for free online but it was worth it to us to know we had the right ones. You’ll still need to get them notarized.

[Anonymous]

can someone explain how this works - I'm currently doing this stuff on my own because my lawyers sister sent me the forms.

but in what world does a person go into the hospital and their next of kin can't get information? I have none of this for my husband , my sister in law, or my mom -- and for all three I was given all information and, for DH and mom, was in discussions with treatment options.

Like I said, I'll do these forms anyway, but it makes no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s a next of kin or after the person’s death situation. I think it’s if the person is still alive and the parents have no right to their medical information once they turn 18.

Same with school grades, the college can automatically give you their grades. The kid has to give you access to the grades.

All I know is I just didn’t wanna question it that much so I just did it, especially because my kid was going to school out of state

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a next of kin or after the person’s death situation. I think it’s if the person is still alive and the parents have no right to their medical information once they turn 18.

Same with school grades, the college can automatically give you their grades. The kid has to give you access to the grades.

All I know is I just didn’t wanna question it that much so I just did it, especially because my kid was going to school out of state

OR I'm doing it too - I just can't imagine if my kid had alcohol poisoning this is something a hospital wouldn't disclose. OR keep me up to date on treatment etc. "We have your kid here but we can't say why", is not a thing I ever heard on ER.

[Anonymous]

What is the reason for financial POA, which allows unscrupulous parents to take out loans in their kids' names?

I understand medical POA and FERPA, although I think they're intrusive. But financial is hard to justify.

[Anonymous]

My father was recently in hospice. My mother was temporarily unreachable due to her own medical situation and the facility would not speak with me until I was able to provide a copy of Dad’s medical POA that included me (as well as my mother).

Not to say that others who have been informed about their relatives situations without such paperwork are wrong, but certainly some medical providers are maybe more sticklers than others. I don’t plan to risk it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father was recently in hospice. My mother was temporarily unreachable due to her own medical situation and the facility would not speak with me until I was able to provide a copy of Dad’s medical POA that included me (as well as my mother).

Not to say that others who have been informed about their relatives situations without such paperwork are wrong, but certainly some medical providers are maybe more sticklers than others. I don’t plan to risk it.

You aren't your dad's next of kin, your mom is. For an unmarried college student, it's hard to understand who else would be next of kin besides the parent. I have to think the student was conscious / able to interact with doctors and therefore no next of kin was needed - but mom wanted to know what was up anyway. Making a kid do a POA for that situation is how you get kids avoiding the hospital rather than risk parents finding out they have an std or alcohol poisoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father was recently in hospice. My mother was temporarily unreachable due to her own medical situation and the facility would not speak with me until I was able to provide a copy of Dad’s medical POA that included me (as well as my mother).

Not to say that others who have been informed about their relatives situations without such paperwork are wrong, but certainly some medical providers are maybe more sticklers than others. I don’t plan to risk it.

this is really different from your kid. both your DH and you are next of kin. (or two parents etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a next of kin or after the person’s death situation. I think it’s if the person is still alive and the parents have no right to their medical information once they turn 18.

Same with school grades, the college can automatically give you their grades. The kid has to give you access to the grades.

All I know is I just didn’t wanna question it that much so I just did it, especially because my kid was going to school out of state

OR I'm doing it too - I just can't imagine if my kid had alcohol poisoning this is something a hospital wouldn't disclose. OR keep me up to date on treatment etc. "We have your kid here but we can't say why", is not a thing I ever heard on ER.

If your adult child is in serious distress they are going to treat him - they don't stop to call anybody first.

If your child was brought in by a friend with your info or has some kind of emergency contact card on him AND is unconscious, they will try to contact next of kin. As next of kin, you get the info necessary to make decisions because your child cannot.

If your adult child is conscious and talking, he makes the decision whether to call you.

So an adult that gets their stomach pumped and then hangs out at the hospital for monitoring does not need the hospital to contact anybody. And they won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:can someone explain how this works - I'm currently doing this stuff on my own because my lawyers sister sent me the forms.

but in what world does a person go into the hospital and their next of kin can't get information? I have none of this for my husband , my sister in law, or my mom -- and for all three I was given all information and, for DH and mom, was in discussions with treatment options.

Like I said, I'll do these forms anyway, but it makes no sense to me.

I said this exact thing to a doctor. I said, weird when I call for my 90yo dad you have no problem giving me information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend's 18yo child was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, and although she was a physician, she could not get any information from the hospital.

To avoid such a scenario, she said certain legal documents need to be in place.

Could anyone provide info on what exact documents and where to find them? I think HIPPA and medical power of attorney?

Can I just find them online and discuss them with my adult children and have them signed before leaving for college? Have others done this?

ChatGPT says -

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend's situation—it's understandably concerning when you can't access information about a loved one’s health due to privacy laws like HIPAA.

You're on the right track with HIPAA and medical power of attorney. To help clarify, here’s what you’re likely referring to and some additional documents that might be important in this situation:

1. HIPAA Authorization Form
What it is: This form gives permission for healthcare providers to disclose health information to specific individuals, like parents or guardians.

Why it’s important: Even though your child is legally an adult at 18, you can still be kept in the loop regarding their medical situation if they fill out this form.

Where to find it: You can usually find this form on the hospital’s website or request it directly from your doctor’s office. There are also general templates available online.

Does it require a signature?: Yes, your child will need to sign it voluntarily, and it may need to be witnessed or notarized, depending on your state’s requirements.

2. Medical Power of Attorney (MPOA)
What it is: This allows you (or someone else) to make medical decisions on behalf of your child if they are unable to make decisions for themselves (e.g., if they are unconscious or incapacitated).

Why it’s important: It allows you to step in and make decisions if your child is incapacitated or in a medical emergency.

Where to find it: You can find these forms online via state-specific legal websites, like LegalZoom, or through state government health resources.

Does it require a signature?: Yes, this document typically needs to be signed in the presence of a notary, depending on state laws.

3. Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will)
What it is: This document lays out your child’s wishes for medical treatment if they become unable to communicate. It includes decisions about things like life support, organ donation, etc.

Why it’s important: In case of a very serious medical situation, this directive can guide healthcare providers and family members about your child’s preferences.

Where to find it: Similar to the MPOA, it can be found on state websites or platforms like LegalZoom.

4. Durable Power of Attorney for Finances
What it is: This isn’t directly medical but might be useful. It allows you to make financial decisions on your child’s behalf if they are incapacitated (e.g., managing insurance or medical bills).

Where to find it: Same places as MPOA and Living Will.

Can You Just Find Them Online and Discuss Them?
Yes, you can definitely find these forms online and discuss them with your adult children. In fact, many people create these documents as their children approach adulthood, especially before they head off to college. It can be a helpful and responsible step to take, ensuring that everyone understands the importance of medical privacy, decision-making, and the legal aspects involved.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

-Discussing the documents with your children ahead of time can help them feel more comfortable and informed about the process.

-Notarization might be required in some cases, so you’ll want to check your state’s specific requirements.

-State laws vary, so it’s a good idea to double-check the laws in your state to ensure that the documents you fill out are valid and complete.

Have Others Done This?
Yes, many parents have done this as part of planning for their child’s transition to adulthood, especially with kids heading off to college or living away from home. It’s often an easy, proactive way to ensure you’ll be prepared in case of emergencies.

If you’re in a state that requires a notary, or if you’d like extra reassurance that you’re filling everything out correctly, you could consider speaking to a lawyer for guidance.

Have you or your children had to navigate any of this before, or is this the first time you’re looking into these kinds of documents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:can someone explain how this works - I'm currently doing this stuff on my own because my lawyers sister sent me the forms.

but in what world does a person go into the hospital and their next of kin can't get information? I have none of this for my husband , my sister in law, or my mom -- and for all three I was given all information and, for DH and mom, was in discussions with treatment options.

Like I said, I'll do these forms anyway, but it makes no sense to me.

Physician here. I did not for my grown kids it is unnecessary. Neither did any of my doctor friends and workmates. Hospitals will call next of kin and give info when the patient consents. In an emergency the hospital docs treat the emergency best practices, surgical or other medical interventions—they do not withhold treatment. My kids are at colleges that have medical campuses I know they are in excellent hands in emergency or less urgent situations. An adult kid who drank too much will be treated appropriately for alcohol poisoning underage or not. They will not tell the parent their adult kid drank too much, that is up to the adult kid to share. As it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a next of kin or after the person’s death situation. I think it’s if the person is still alive and the parents have no right to their medical information once they turn 18.

Same with school grades, the college can automatically give you their grades. The kid has to give you access to the grades.

All I know is I just didn’t wanna question it that much so I just did it, especially because my kid was going to school out of state

OR I'm doing it too - I just can't imagine if my kid had alcohol poisoning this is something a hospital wouldn't disclose. OR keep me up to date on treatment etc. "We have your kid here but we can't say why", is not a thing I ever heard on ER.

If your adult child is in serious distress they are going to treat him - they don't stop to call anybody first.

If your child was brought in by a friend with your info or has some kind of emergency contact card on him AND is unconscious, they will try to contact next of kin. As next of kin, you get the info necessary to make decisions because your child cannot.

If your adult child is conscious and talking, he makes the decision whether to call you.

So an adult that gets their stomach pumped and then hangs out at the hospital for monitoring does not need the hospital to contact anybody. And they won't.

.

This. 100%. The forms are a waste of $ and time. My kid got a possible broken ankle, kid told me going to ER to get checked, then the kid had q’s on the options they were given for the sprain, ER doc was happy to talk w me—kid asked if i wanted to, seemed to want me to. ER doc thought boot was best for walking longer distances to campus w a sprain kid was worried if it would cost too much.