Why do you feel your school has failed your child?

[Anonymous]

My kid has a strong IEP. He’s in HS. It’s not always been perfect but overall I’m happy. However I see so many people post that their school cannot educate their child appropriately. I often wonder if I just accept the status quo as good enough and don’t push for more.

For me, my kid needs a less sensory stimulating environment with strong academics. Even in Bridge, the classes are too chaotic. It would be great if teachers didn’t yell in the classroom, there were fewer bodies in the classroom, students quietly did their work, and questions led to thoughtful discussions.

Im not going to get any of that—IEP or not. So what’s the point in fighting the school system for something they can’t provide.

What do you want from the school system that you feel they can provide and are not doing so? Why are you disappointed in your child’s placement?

[Anonymous]

Two things stand out for my child, lack of training provided to teachers and class size.

How can 28 kids in one class be appropriate for elementary school with one teacher? There are so many behaviors in the classroom, not sure how anyone can teach anything.

Second my child needs specialized instruction, the teachers are well meaning but 30 hours of training is not enough. My child is not making progress.

[Anonymous]

Middle and high school have more programs- not enough, but more. Supported classes have 2 adults in the room. There is a resource period where kids can get actual support as needed. There are remedial reading and double period math classes. There are options. Oh, and there are security guards.

Elementary is a disaster. There is 1 teacher per room, all kids learning the same curriculum. There are kids not on the diploma track whose needs need to be met. One sped teacher per 20 or so kids spread across 3 grades so they might or might not see any support during the day. It’s horrible.

[Anonymous]

MCPS didn't provide the hours of reading pullouts listed in his IEP and the special ed teachers doing the pullouts had varying levels of training. Some of them didn't follow a set curriculum/program for dyslexia. They claimed he was fine when independent testing showed he was 2 years behind in reading. OP, just accept that different families have different experiences and don't assume we were asking too much.

[Anonymous]

My DS has dyslexia. The schools were unable to provide appropriate instruction to teach him to read. If it were left up the school system, he would be illiterate as a high school junior.

The appropriate instruction isn’t a hidden secret. It’s readily available.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes they didn’t know what to do. Like everything in their wheelhouse just failed or wasn’t enough. During Covid it was like they had to invent new things and the creativity was impressive. But not only then. There were plenty of times that the things that worked for others just didn’t for mine or the things that were working just stopped.

It was complicated because of the medical piece and the onset of puberty.

Overall I think my child was served extremely well but the path wasn’t smooth. Also, it took a lot of my time and I can imagine that parents who didn’t have flexibility and lots of leave may have bad employment issues.

[Anonymous]

People aren’t going to post here when things are going swimmingly. I know plenty of people in the real world who are pretty happy with their IEP, etc. And, I know some people in the real world who are terribly unhappy. In the real world, what would help is schools having a ton more funding which just isn’t happening.

I will say that for those who are terribly unhappy, there are two categories. Those who really aren’t getting appropriate services and those that have kids with tremendously challenging behaviors or delays that are virtually impossible to really move the needle on, but the parents struggle to accept this.

I’ve got two examples of the second category. For example, my kid has profound ID and is cognitively a nine month old baby forever. I am very happy with her severe ID classroom where she is safe and loved and given exposure to toddler type activities. But I have a tremendous level of acceptance about what I am dealing with because I have a genetic diagnosis. If I thought my kid could function like a five year old if only she got the perfect teaching tools, I would be unhappy.

My good friend has a child with tremendously challenging behaviors and some learning challenges. My friend has struggled every step of the way trying to fight for the best services for her kid. She has now gone to far as to sue the school system and get money for a private placement but her kid’s behavioral issues are so severe that only one school would take her and they expelled her quite quickly. Her child is very unlikely to ever be able to graduate from high school. Her child has been inpatient for months at different times, etc. They simply cannot find meds that work. It is an enormously difficult situation. But again, even a perfect teaching environment was unlikely to overcome the terrible mental health hand they have been dealt.

The truth is that all of this is hard, things would be even better for many more kids with a lot more funding and there are some kids that will struggle no matter how many resources are available.

[Anonymous]

I think there is some difference between it being able to meeting my kid’s needs and failing him. If the environment is too noisy or there are enough teaching aides, I get that.

But when his Behavioral Intervention Plan is ignored, especially when he’s shutting down and all you need to do is ignore him, it’s really frustrating. Or they say they don’t believe the dyslexia diagnosis and he’s just not trying. Or when he’s placed with a teacher who makes all the students say good morning or the need to leave the room and enter again- when avoiding needless power struggles will make everything go smoother, I think it’s a school failure.

Schools aren’t all out to get Special Education students but they are also not all caring, competent professionals. I think the board tends to have people who are unhappy because that’s when you need to make a change(and vent). The years when everything goes smoothly, I don’t post as much.

[Anonymous]

My experiences with the special Ed teams across different schools have generally been positive. However they provided no real help at any time to my DS. Any actual help he received was paid for privately.

It all depends on the diagnosis. If the challenges fall under the realm of accommodations and are not behavioral, generally the schools can handle that.

If the challenges are behavioral or if they are learning disabilities, my observations are that assistance is spotty.

My DS has a learning disability. Different school districts with different well-meaning educators couldn’t provide anything more than nice words and vague unhelpful instruction.
This is something we accepted very quickly and moved on without relying on the schools. Because of that, my frustration was limited because I accepted the reality. However, my frustration reappears when a special ed program misrepresents what it actually can accomplish or, in our case, did accomplish, when all the gains he made had absolutely nothing to do with the schools.

[Anonymous]

My child’s MS failed them in the most basic way. They did not ensure the child’s physical safety when the child was teased/harassed/bullied and finally physically assaulted. The admin and even a few of their own teachers simply did not help. The school counselor was particularly bad. So the sped team, well-intentioned though they were - was working against the general uninterested attitude of the rest of the school. Hard for them to get supports in place or the student to access the curriculum when the student is under constant stress like that.

[Anonymous]

My local public isn't even serving the NT kids well, how on earth could they be serving any kids with special needs?

[Anonymous]

Despite having an acknowledged disability, MCPS refuses to put my child on a plan. We're gone through multiple levels of reviews and hearings, and I'm exhausted

[Anonymous]

Usually people who think this are either part of the very small minority who was truly dealt an awful school environment that could not be rectified; or are part of a larger group who feels schools should fix everything about their child's special needs. MCPS prioritizes the truly impacted kids above the ones with less disabling issues, and that's really hard for some parents to understand. And some of the most impacted kids who need private placement can't get them because those private schools are full, or can't take them because they're not good fits. MCPS is best at caring for the kids who are in the middle of that spectrum of needs.

I have a 20 year old with speech/motor issues, low processing speed, autism and ADHD, and a 15 year old still in an MCPS high school. We worked with MCPS to give our son all the tools for success. They did what they could, within the confines of their resources and personnel. With very few exceptions, all the people involved did their best for him. Was their best enough? Obviously not. WE did the heavy lifting at home and paid for help, with medical treatments, social skills groups, tutoring, and constant accompaniment, explanations, narrations and reminders by ME. Parents do not get a pass.

And that's how it will always be. It's always harder to care for a child with special needs than it is to raise a child without. I have both, who went through the same school system. I can see how deficits that my neurotypical child can work around ended up being major obstacles for my child with neurodivergence. But it doesn't mean the school didn't try very had to help him. He has teachers and counselors who went above and beyond for him and we are truly grateful.

There is no perfect school system. His first grade class had 31 kids in it. Large classes can only be reduced with building more schools, and each school costs dozens of millions of dollars, that the county and state cannot afford. But his high school counselor arranged for him to take his ACT across four days of testing (one portion per day), due to his 100% extended time. She came on weekends to open the school and arranged proctors for him. His AP US Gov teacher sat with him for hours to help him write flashcards so he claw his way to a 4 on his AP exam. I could go on.

In the end, the buck stops with the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually people who think this are either part of the very small minority who was truly dealt an awful school environment that could not be rectified; or are part of a larger group who feels schools should fix everything about their child's special needs. MCPS prioritizes the truly impacted kids above the ones with less disabling issues, and that's really hard for some parents to understand. And some of the most impacted kids who need private placement can't get them because those private schools are full, or can't take them because they're not good fits. MCPS is best at caring for the kids who are in the middle of that spectrum of needs.

I have a 20 year old with speech/motor issues, low processing speed, autism and ADHD, and a 15 year old still in an MCPS high school. We worked with MCPS to give our son all the tools for success. They did what they could, within the confines of their resources and personnel. With very few exceptions, all the people involved did their best for him. Was their best enough? Obviously not. WE did the heavy lifting at home and paid for help, with medical treatments, social skills groups, tutoring, and constant accompaniment, explanations, narrations and reminders by ME. Parents do not get a pass.

And that's how it will always be. It's always harder to care for a child with special needs than it is to raise a child without. I have both, who went through the same school system. I can see how deficits that my neurotypical child can work around ended up being major obstacles for my child with neurodivergence. But it doesn't mean the school didn't try very had to help him. He has teachers and counselors who went above and beyond for him and we are truly grateful.

There is no perfect school system. His first grade class had 31 kids in it. Large classes can only be reduced with building more schools, and each school costs dozens of millions of dollars, that the county and state cannot afford. But his high school counselor arranged for him to take his ACT across four days of testing (one portion per day), due to his 100% extended time. She came on weekends to open the school and arranged proctors for him. His AP US Gov teacher sat with him for hours to help him write flashcards so he claw his way to a 4 on his AP exam. I could go on.

In the end, the buck stops with the parents.

This is the point. I agree. Regardless of the IEP meetings and the stupid PLOP and whatever pull outs they try to accomplish, all they can really do are accommodations.

That needs to be made clear. You see from many posts from parents that the schools do not make clear that they are unable to remediate a learning disability. The parents waste precious time believing this. This is the problem. No matter what the law says, schools cannot do this task and they should be upfront about it. Parents new to the process should not have to read the tea leaves and infer it.

[Anonymous]

You are very fortunate. We got a basic IEP they didn't follow and we ended up dropping it as the principal was so abusive during meetings it wasn't worth fighting and we spent/spend a fortune on private services and tutoring.