If someone crashes into a car you were borrowing, would you take photos?

[Anonymous]

If you borrowed a siblings car

- BiL stayed st our house for a week. he used an extra car we had. We were out of town, We had told him he could use it to run around town. We live central so everything is 5 miles tops. He took the car on a road trip to a city 5 hours away, left the doors open and the car died
- Tow truck driver hit our car
- damage to body is $4000
- Two truck driver asked BIL if he could pay under the table.
- BIL agreed and took down the company name, took zero photos etc.
- BIL failed to tell us any of this, a neighbor messaged me saying my car was crash and windows left down in a rain storm and that whoever was staying left town

If you were BiL would you have taken photos of the damage on the scene when you agreed to pay under the table!!?
We are stuck cleaning up this mess and the tow truck driver is now ghosting us and we have nothing written up or photos to document it when it happened! Any advice?

[Anonymous]

You received good advice in your previous thread on this topic:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1281416.page

Have your insurance company handle it. Don’t lend your stuff (home or car) to very irresponsible BIL.

For your own mental health, stop trying to make this crazy situation make sense. None of it makes sense, and it’s not your fault, so try to move forward.

Take care.

[Anonymous]

Your BIL is a jerk. Never lend him anything again.
Always take photos after an accident. How did he know the veh damage total before leaving the scene?

[Anonymous]

No way did this much bad happen so fast. Someone is lying. There's not tow truck. Bil messed up the car on his own.
Who the heck didn't know that BIL is bad at driving and broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You received good advice in your previous thread on this topic:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1281416.page

Have your insurance company handle it. Don’t lend your stuff (home or car) to very irresponsible BIL.

For your own mental health, stop trying to make this crazy situation make sense. None of it makes sense, and it’s not your fault, so try to move forward.

Take care.

i

+1
OP you already crowded sourced us on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your BIL is a jerk. Never lend him anything again.
Always take photos after an accident. How did he know the veh damage total before leaving the scene?

We didn’t, this is like 10 days after it happened and we got 4 quotes at body shops. Damage is very obvious, there’s a huge hole in the front of the car. (large suv) Hw gave us the name of the tow truck company who has now ghosted us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You received good advice in your previous thread on this topic:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1281416.page

Have your insurance company handle it. Don’t lend your stuff (home or car) to very irresponsible BIL.

For your own mental health, stop trying to make this crazy situation make sense. None of it makes sense, and it’s not your fault, so try to move forward.

Take care.

i

+1
OP you already crowded sourced us on this.

Sorry I cannot let this go because I’m livid at my husband we are paying for this because his brother can never handle it take responsibility for anything. We just got back and I just cleaned out two fridges where they left 2 full garbage bags of their old food. Who stays at someone’s house and doesn’t throw their stuff away? 2 garage sized bags for 2 people and a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way did this much bad happen so fast. Someone is lying. There's not tow truck. Bil messed up the car on his own.
Who the heck didn't know that BIL is bad at driving and broke.

BIl lives in a million+ plus house.

[Anonymous]

You’re mad at your husband yet you’re the one who made the offer for your BIL to stay at your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re mad at your husband yet you’re the one who made the offer for your BIL to stay at your house?

I’m mad at my husband for not having a single word to come down on his brother for how he handled the damages. I’m just done.

[Anonymous]

You should be mad at yourself. It’s your fault you’re in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Your BIL sounds like they have an addiction issue. This sounds like something my addict sibling would do. BTDT.

NEVER help or bail him out EVER again. Just trust me on this.

[Anonymous]

This is why I never let anyone use my car. Yes I'd take pictures but your BIL sounds like a deadbeat so of course he didn't take pictures. He also sounds like he's not capable of living on his own and I'd guess he's an addict of some sort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re mad at your husband yet you’re the one who made the offer for your BIL to stay at your house?

I’m mad at my husband for not having a single word to come down on his brother for how he handled the damages. I’m just done.

Does your husband ever come down on your BIL for anything? BIL is wrong, your husband is wrong, but it seems like this is the way it always goes with them, so you should have known better than to offer the car. If I were you I'd be pissed at myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

Your BIL sounds like they have an addiction issue. This sounds like something my addict sibling would do. BTDT.

NEVER help or bail him out EVER again. Just trust me on this.

You’re so right. Their mom is a 30 year recovered alcoholic so hit the nail on the head, probably why my husband enables this behavior and his brother’s hobby is hallucinating drugs in major doses (goes out in woods with a guide type deal) but I figured with a toddler he would have some healthier hobbies.