No good deed goes unpunished
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Anonymous
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My BIL (husbands brother) and SIL had a baby 3 years ago. We live in the same town as MIL. They have a fine relationship with her but have not visited in 3 years. They sent her a plane ticket to come visit 1x in 3 years to visit the baby and didn’t really have space for her. She cannot afford to pay her own ticket. We have a 4 bedroom house and were leaving on vacation for a few weeks. I offered them to use our house when we were gone and our car just to drive around town.
A week before the trip my MIL mentions they have booked flights and are staying at our house. They didn’t even call us to run the dates by or anything. Our area is really expensive for hotels- start at $350 a night. That’s why I offered. I was put off that they didn’t even call/text to run it by first. Then they used our car for a 9 hour road trip. And I found out from neighbors our car had thousands of dollars in damage (dents, scratches, windows were down in driveway with rain storms) and they just left it that way, didn’t text us photos or anything. MIL put a tarp cover the car so the interior wouldn’t be damaged. This is our second car, worth about $25k. They said they couldn’t get the windows up, the car was having some issue but to not even communicate with us? They said car is not running and left it that way. I cannot get any truth to their story but I’m annoyed they would just leave a car open with windows down in our driveway for 3 weeks while we are gone and not communicate at all. During all of this there wasn’t even a single thank you for letting them stay at our house or use our things. No good deed goes unpunished. I will never ever offer them anything again. |
Anonymous
| You offered them your house and your car keys. You’re assuming liability here when you offer. Your insurance should cover the car damage send them the bill. And stop acting like you’re better than everyone else. |
Anonymous
| I do not understand. You said “hey guys, you should use our house when we are away, and the car too, we will leave the keys with MIl” and your ILs did not say anything and just showed up, used your house and car, and left the car with windows down and left town? |
Anonymous
I think OP is more concerned with the lack of respect. |
Anonymous
OP disrespected herself and her home when MIL says oh your SIL is coming and instead of calling SIL and talking to her about it she gets pissy that nobody told her; however, she leaves the keys anyways. OP established no ground rules, no communication guidelines, and STILL left the keys to the house and car. She messed up, yes they took advantage, but it’s half her own fault for blindly trusting someone she clearly barely knows. |
Anonymous
Yes. Mother in law was staying at our house so she let them in. Our car keys are left on the windowsill. They didn’t communicate at all they were coming to stay in our house. I found out from MIL. They did not call and say they were staying for a week or taking our car on a road trip. Basic respect would be calling and running the dates by and mentioning they wanted to take it on a trip. It’s a little different than driving around our area locally. They damaged the car somehow. We can’t get the full story except that it broke down and they couldn’t get the windows to go up. There’s external dents and damages we learned from the neighbors. I feel like the normal thing to do would be to text us photos that they incurred damages while using it and can’t get the windows up and try to get a repair person over before they left for the week. But they just ignored it and left it like that in the driveway. We found out from the neighbors. |
Anonymous
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Who used you so badly, OP? The family with the baby or MIL? Both? That part wasn't clear.
You and your husband (speakerphone) call them up to ask for details, and to specifically tell them that what they did was beyond the pale: book flight without double-checking with you first; severely damage your car without telling you; failing to offer to pay for damages. Your husband should insist on reimbursement for the car. He might not get it, but it will drive home to them that they owe you big time. |
Anonymous
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20:06 again. Sorry, didn't see your follow-up.
What does your husband say: is this par for the course with his brother? Could any of this have been prevented by knowledge of their character? |
Anonymous
| You should be mad at MIL. |
Anonymous
BIL and SIL, not upset with MIL. Well they won’t reimburse us. They just won’t. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have had them stay at all. I guess my expectations were that they would be normal and decent about it. |
Anonymous
She did tell me they were staying but I feel the decent thing to do when you’re staying at someone’s house is to text them the dates. |
Anonymous
This is proof that people will rag on an OP no matter what. If OP posted that her BIL was mad at her for booking a flight without checking dates and then causing damage to their without ever saying thank you, I’m sure your response would be the opposite. Also, I do not get the sense OP has a superiority complex over these people (at least until they behaved this way). Rude guests will not be invited again and OP is very reasonably upset and venting. |
Anonymous
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Where is your husband? He needs to have a convo w both his brother & mother.
Outside of that lesson learned.. as you invited them & offered up that car & your hone. |
Anonymous
| They 100% suck. Now you 100% know that and are justified in never offering similarly again, which is understandable. My in-laws all kind of suck but I can’t honestly imagine a scenario in which BIL & SIL do what yours did. Do the brothers not talk?? |
Anonymous
Well if they weren’t meeting your standards of decency prior to the visit then why did you still let them stay? |