Concealing Inheritance

[Anonymous]

From my ILs? They’re staying with us briefly and will see a new car I just purchased with an inheritance (my last parent died well over a year ago-my ILs attended funeral). DH told me he didn’t mention the new car to his parents because they’d immediately assume (correctly) an inheritance and will push for more details.

ILs have always been nosy, intrusive but yet are oddly low-effort and self focused. I have limited interaction with them after being fodder for their gossip for too long.

I am up for being honest and straightforward and cutting through the BS by just telling them I did get an inheritance. Maybe get it out there in the open and pick them up in my new car? See if they notice?

[Anonymous]

There's no need to hide it. Pick them up and let them compliment your good taste. If they ask how much, tell them. They don't need to know what your entire inheritance was.

[Anonymous]

I don't blame you for not mentioning it. I wouldn't either, especially if your DH supports you in concealing it from them. We already support my in-laws, and I try to avoid talking or showing any display of wealth around them because they will want more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't blame you for not mentioning it. I wouldn't either, especially if your DH supports you in concealing it from them. We already support my in-laws, and I try to avoid talking or showing any display of wealth around them because they will want more.

+1

I would not say a word. You bought a new car. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Why would they see a new car and immediately assume inheritance? Did you buy a Lamborghini?

[Anonymous]

Don't say anything and see where they go with the new car info. Try to say as little as you can about your money. They are not entitled to know.

[Anonymous]

You could always use the old "Oh, why do you ask?"

[Anonymous]

"yes I got a new car"
Nothing else is their business. Why would you share financial information with them? You shouldn't. Just because someone is rude-enough to ask something (anything) doesn't mean you should be stupid enough to think you need to answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"yes I got a new car"
Nothing else is their business. Why would you share financial information with them? You shouldn't. Just because someone is rude-enough to ask something (anything) doesn't mean you should be stupid enough to think you need to answer

This X10000

[Anonymous]

I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?

I'm not OP, but perhaps you don't understand because you don't support any relatives. Ours always have a hand out. We avoid any public displays of wealth. We don't even talk about our kids' activities around them. I don't wear any jewelry when we visit.

[Anonymous]

NP. Some people get jealous if anyone around them is doing well financially. So I understand OP's desire to minimize.

I don't know what cover story is best, but it is crucial that DH and DW stay consistent with the cover story.

The other option is to leave the car at a friend's driveway across town during the in-law visit - and tell them the car is in the repair shop.

[Anonymous]

OP - what brand of car are we talking here?

People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.

Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?

OP back - bought a used luxury car. Noticeable because I traded in an old econobox/no frills. I’m pretty frugal and budget conscious. ILs always have been super judgy about my career, lifestyle choices and weirdly competitive with my late parents about grandparent status, involvement, presents, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - what brand of car are we talking here?

People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.

Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.

OP - a BMW. I’ve always wanted one.