Coach Asking for Our U13 Cell Numbers to Communicate Directly

[Anonymous]

I’m in a bit of conundrum. My son left his car with his coach to play on a new team the coaches forming. He loves the coach – we all do- and loves the teammates. However, the coach always asks my son to give him his private cell phone number and he asks all the other parents as well saying that he needs it to send them information that will help them play well. I happen to know this is a safe sport violation, and coaches should never be in contact with minor players without an adult included. I’m not going to bring this up in the parent chat because I know I will lose my kid playing time next year. However, I’m uncomfortable with the whole situation. What do I do?? Approach the coach and let him know that this is a safe sport violation and could lose him his license? The coach is not a bad guy but may not know this rule. Let the other parents know this is a bad idea and let them choose for themselves? They worship the coach and there’s a cultish vibe. Do what I have been doing, which is shut up and do nothing and be sure my own kid (still 11) doesn’t communicate with any adult without me included ? The kids in question are 11 to 15, this particular group of kids is 11-12.
The club owner is kind of shady so I’m not bringing it up with him.

[Anonymous]

snitches get stitches

[Anonymous]

Whatever. It’s not good for the coach or club either.

[Anonymous]

Let him know..(coach ) also enter
Goog/apple number

[Anonymous]

Your gut is telling you something is wrong. Safe Sport is telling you something is wrong. The club owner is “shady.”

This, right now, you: this is how bad stuff happens to kids, and keeps happening.

Because of playing time? Wow.

Speak up.

Remember all those female gymnasts who were victims of Larry Nassar who spoke up and spoke out and said, “All we needed was ONE ADULT to stand up for us.” Remember that?

[Anonymous]

my kid is too little to have a cell phone but literally every other kid on the team has one. I had one parent confirm the coach calls her son quite often.
I just wanna remind parents that if you feel like something is off don’t let it override your common sense. Absolutely nobody, but nobody should be communicating with your 11yo child without you present.

[Anonymous]

Most - of the coaches my DD has had (she is U17) has insisted that a parent be on the text chat with the coach. Or they text in a group chat like group me. If you feel that it’s shady or your gut says this isn't right...it more than likely is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your gut is telling you something is wrong. Safe Sport is telling you something is wrong. The club owner is “shady.”

This, right now, you: this is how bad stuff happens to kids, and keeps happening.

Because of playing time? Wow.

Speak up.

Remember all those female gymnasts who were victims of Larry Nassar who spoke up and spoke out and said, “All we needed was ONE ADULT to stand up for us.” Remember that?

My thoughts too

[Anonymous]

Two thoughts: 1) Suggest TeamSnap or Playmetrics, so the team can communicate like every other team out there. There is a free version of TS or you can offer to buy it for the team for about $100. 2) Your kid is 11. You should have the ability (there are apps) to read EVERY message that hits his phone. Every one. And you should at least be periodically checking it.

[Anonymous]

Read this article and reconsider keeping silent about it.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/24/nyregion/packer-baseball-coach-brooklyn-charges.html

[Anonymous]

I would be monitoring every single text that comes from this coach to my kid. Do not ever leave your kid alone with him. Stay and watch practices. Safesport exists for a reason.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let my kid have a cell phone at U13! Coach would have to text the parent's number to convey a message to the kid.

[Anonymous]

The only time a coach has ever communicated with my child, I have been on the chat or text thread.

That should be the default. That should also be what any self-respecting adult who wants to keep their reputation solid wants for themselves. I've seen what happens to coaches who get a reputation for being shady (even when nothing actually happens - at least that anyone has reported) - they loose jobs.

[Anonymous]

Give out your number only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a bit of conundrum. My son left his car with his coach to play on a new team the coaches forming. He loves the coach – we all do- and loves the teammates. However, the coach always asks my son to give him his private cell phone number and he asks all the other parents as well saying that he needs it to send them information that will help them play well. I happen to know this is a safe sport violation, and coaches should never be in contact with minor players without an adult included. I’m not going to bring this up in the parent chat because I know I will lose my kid playing time next year. However, I’m uncomfortable with the whole situation. What do I do?? Approach the coach and let him know that this is a safe sport violation and could lose him his license? The coach is not a bad guy but may not know this rule. Let the other parents know this is a bad idea and let them choose for themselves? They worship the coach and there’s a cultish vibe. Do what I have been doing, which is shut up and do nothing and be sure my own kid (still 11) doesn’t communicate with any adult without me included ? The kids in question are 11 to 15, this particular group of kids is 11-12.
The club owner is kind of shady so I’m not bringing it up with him.

If a U13 has a cell phone, you are part of the problem.