Why are men so hung up on exes?

[Anonymous]

I’m attractive, successful, fun, low maintenance. Guys always tell me I’m a dream girl.

And yet whenever I date someone, I always find out they’re still hung up on an ex. In my last long term relationship, I caught him texting his ex how much he loved her, even though they’d been broken up for years. Recently I was dating a new guy, his ex sent me a friend request on FB, I asked him about it, and after some prodding he admitted she’s still basically family and goes over to his parents house all the time, they talk all the time, they’ve been talking for months about getting back together, etc.

And the crazy thing is these exes are ugly! The last guy’s ex is almost 200 pounds, unemployed, and from what I read on her FB not very smart. And I don’t mean that in a mean way, but why would you be hung up on that when you could have someone who’s an 8, makes 6 figures, and wants to go out and have fun with you?

[Anonymous]

They're not.
You're just a troll.

[Anonymous]

Because dating you makes them realize how nice their ex was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're not.
You're just a troll.

No, she’s right. There are some guys who can’t establish healthy boundaries with exes. It’s like they keep them stringing along “just in case”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because dating you makes them realize how nice their ex was?

It's obvious OP was seeking such a reply. Which is why they're a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're not.
You're just a troll.

No, she’s right. There are some guys who can’t establish healthy boundaries with exes. It’s like they keep them stringing along “just in case”.

That's not a function of gender, it's a function of personality. Certain men and women do it. This is not gender-based.

And stop sock-puppeting.

[Anonymous]

Such a troll.

And if it were real, as soon as a woman says, "I'm fun and low maintenance", I am suspicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because dating you makes them realize how nice their ex was?

OP. But they're not nice. My LTR's ex was BPD, would get drunk, make death threats, and he'd have to call the cops.

Plus, I am nice. I plan dates, I listen, I'm encouraging, I buy thoughtful gifts, I cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such a troll.

And if it were real, as soon as a woman says, "I'm fun and low maintenance", I am suspicious.

OP. Not trying to be a pick-me girl. But I don't expect fancy dates or for someone to spend a lot of money on me. I have my own money. I pay my way on dates. And I always try to come up with fun date ideas, like going to an arcade or going rock climbing.

[Anonymous]

Dressed to the 9s, I'm an 8, 7 days a week, making 6 figures in a 5 o'clock world, on all 4s thinking 3rd time is the charm, but I'm getting 2 timed by every man I think is the 1.

[Anonymous]

My partner had a looong and storied romantic life before we were together. And the only time he mentions exes is when it's relevant to the conversation. "I lived in Bali for six months and my girlfriend at the time..." or "I used to date a woman who worked for that company and she said..." This is pretty typical in my experience.

It's not "men" who are hung up. It's the men you're picking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m attractive, successful, fun, low maintenance. Guys always tell me I’m a dream girl.

And yet whenever I date someone, I always find out they’re still hung up on an ex. In my last long term relationship, I caught him texting his ex how much he loved her, even though they’d been broken up for years. Recently I was dating a new guy, his ex sent me a friend request on FB, I asked him about it, and after some prodding he admitted she’s still basically family and goes over to his parents house all the time, they talk all the time, they’ve been talking for months about getting back together, etc.

And the crazy thing is these exes are ugly! The last guy’s ex is almost 200 pounds, unemployed, and from what I read on her FB not very smart. And I don’t mean that in a mean way, but why would you be hung up on that when you could have someone who’s an 8, makes 6 figures, and wants to go out and have fun with you?

Men never recover from their first heartbreak. Some settle, others become players, most find someone else to love, but it’s never quite the same.

[Anonymous]

Men want what they can't have. As soon as she leaves, she becomes more valuable.

It's not about how great the next is/could be. The ex gets a +10 bonus simply for being unavailable now.

[Anonymous]

Even if I am high on the craziest drugs (I don't do drugs) I don't think I will ever bring up my ex wife. If I were a choice of shaking her hand or getting hit by tractor, I think I'll get hit by the tractor. I am not sure what OP is talking about. An ex is an ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m attractive, successful, fun, low maintenance. Guys always tell me I’m a dream girl.

And yet whenever I date someone, I always find out they’re still hung up on an ex. In my last long term relationship, I caught him texting his ex how much he loved her, even though they’d been broken up for years. Recently I was dating a new guy, his ex sent me a friend request on FB, I asked him about it, and after some prodding he admitted she’s still basically family and goes over to his parents house all the time, they talk all the time, they’ve been talking for months about getting back together, etc.

And the crazy thing is these exes are ugly! The last guy’s ex is almost 200 pounds, unemployed, and from what I read on her FB not very smart. And I don’t mean that in a mean way, but why would you be hung up on that when you could have someone who’s an 8, makes 6 figures, and wants to go out and have fun with you?

Men never recover from their first heartbreak. Some settle, others become players, most find someone else to love, but it’s never quite the same.

Never is a strong word. Men pursue women most of the time. Starting over and pursuing another woman all over again is exhausting because she will be testing you along the way. And just thinking about that make you wish you were still with your ex.