Job prospects when trades aren’t a fit

[Anonymous]

Dc rising 9th grade was just diagnosed (full neuropsych) with—
-Dysgraphia
-Dyscalculia
-very, very Slow processing speed at “borderline”
- avg IQ (104)
-mainly a b student in an intense/UMC+ school (not dc area)


I have spent the last 3 hours doom scrolling.

It would seem that maybe college won’t be their best path (though they would love to be like their friends by going), they have varied interests but don’t “love” school the statistically high drop out rate at it >105 hit me hard.

They are also not a candidate for trades (below avg fine motor skills).

They have some interests and are curious so seem so much better than the picture above. I’m thinking the goal might be to take an “assumption” of college off the table (vs the 2x+ a week tutor, weekly vision therapy that seems to be their new “normal” and is causing stress) or find a really niche program at an open admit type of school ? Or try and look for alternative routes in life?

Honestly, I feel so hopeless and worried about their future. This rambles but needed to vent.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised by such a late diagnosis. My son had dysgraphia with very slow processing speed. He also had muscle weakness in his hands/fingers which made anything requiring fine motor impossible. Things seemed pretty dire in ES and I wondered if he’d be able to make it through school, much less attend college. I didn’t see him learning a trade. He made huge strides in MS (took him out of public) and by HS was doing well. He’s now in college and doing great. I wouldn’t take college off the table but adjust expectations. We know so many kids with disabilities who are college bound or have now graduated college successfully. My other son with a different issue also has slow processing speed and severe math challenges. He wants to attend college and has other strengths. We adjusted his schedule to be in on grade level math with tutoring as needed. His math grades/courses will limit him but we have a list of a dozen colleges he does have the stats for. He’s also at a high performing HS where loading up on APs and straight As are the norm. He takes a mix of honors and regular classes and even has a D on his transcript from 9th grade. But it’s been a very steady upward trajectory with a good IEP in place. We tell him all the time not to compare himself to others. It’s so important to keep self-esteem intact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised by such a late diagnosis. My son had dysgraphia with very slow processing speed. He also had muscle weakness in his hands/fingers which made anything requiring fine motor impossible. Things seemed pretty dire in ES and I wondered if he’d be able to make it through school, much less attend college. I didn’t see him learning a trade. He made huge strides in MS (took him out of public) and by HS was doing well. He’s now in college and doing great. I wouldn’t take college off the table but adjust expectations. We know so many kids with disabilities who are college bound or have now graduated college successfully. My other son with a different issue also has slow processing speed and severe math challenges. He wants to attend college and has other strengths. We adjusted his schedule to be in on grade level math with tutoring as needed. His math grades/courses will limit him but we have a list of a dozen colleges he does have the stats for. He’s also at a high performing HS where loading up on APs and straight As are the norm. He takes a mix of honors and regular classes and even has a D on his transcript from 9th grade. But it’s been a very steady upward trajectory with a good IEP in place. We tell him all the time not to compare himself to others. It’s so important to keep self-esteem intact.

Thank you so much for the kind words! They really mean a lot. We also tell them to not compare to others, but often if it just seems like empty words. Extra hard: an older sibling who goes breezes through school with a 4.0 UW (honors and APs galore next year); works hard but can probably count the "Bs" on assignments on one hand. I think the late diagnosis was that he was always doing "fine" (or better) but lots of guilt for not doing things sooner.

[Anonymous]

Also, could you give me a sense of the types of colleges that are working for any of the kids you mention above? Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

Hmm, I have heard about Landmark college for kids with LD. Don't know anything personally about it, oh also Beacon college.

What about dc doing their AA at community college, then transferring to a 4 year?

What are your dc's interests?

[Anonymous]

My son literally has the same diagnosis as yours and the same IQ, maybe one point lower if I recall correctly and is set to attend a perfectly fine college next year. In the T100 or so of USNWR if you follow that kind of thing. Don’t rule out college. We don’t know how it will go, but it is certainly worth a try. Sure he’s not going to a top school, but I was pleasantly surprised by the number of options he had once I shed my hang up on the top schools his peers were attending.

[Anonymous]

I see you are focused on college but unless you are doing college just for college sake, it’s really important to figure out the career part and how you get there. For us, the education really needed to lead to a job because we aren’t going to be leaving a trust for our kids.

Also, just from experience, my kid with low processing speed and very high IQ, but EF issues and anxiety as well, has really struggled with college. He gets good grades but he works at school work for like 8 hours a day every day. He lives at home and has taken over the kitchen as his study area, so we watch it. He does not get the fun benefits like going to sporting events or parties. But he is successful and he loves learning so he’s ok with doing what it takes.

Some ideas besides the trades that don’t require a college degree might be something in the medical field like infrasound technician or X-ray technician.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Here are my thoughts as a high school special educator, as well as a parent of kid who was diagnosed at the same age.

First, rising 9th grade is very young. Kids change and grow a lot during high school. So, while I think it's helpful to explore options, and keep an open mind, I would be very hesitant to write off options at this age.

The other is that a kid with the profile you describe who managed to earn B's in middle school without formal accommodations or special education supports, also has significant strengths. Whether that's work ethic, or executive functioning, or sheer willpower, something got him through and allowed him to overcome all those years. When you combine those strengths with accommodations and more targeted interventions, you may see that he can handle more academically than you thought. Plus, even if he doesn't, those traits will stand him well in the real world.

As far as what kind of career, I would use these years to have my kid explore various interests, and also get some experience working whether for pay or in a volunteer role where he has some kind of ongoing responsibility. That will help you see what he likes

As far as what kinds of colleges, there are large numbers of small colleges that aren't selective admissions wise, give good financial aid, and have good supports. Your kid will have choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are my thoughts as a high school special educator, as well as a parent of kid who was diagnosed at the same age.

First, rising 9th grade is very young. Kids change and grow a lot during high school. So, while I think it's helpful to explore options, and keep an open mind, I would be very hesitant to write off options at this age.

The other is that a kid with the profile you describe who managed to earn B's in middle school without formal accommodations or special education supports, also has significant strengths. Whether that's work ethic, or executive functioning, or sheer willpower, something got him through and allowed him to overcome all those years. When you combine those strengths with accommodations and more targeted interventions, you may see that he can handle more academically than you thought. Plus, even if he doesn't, those traits will stand him well in the real world.

As far as what kind of career, I would use these years to have my kid explore various interests, and also get some experience working whether for pay or in a volunteer role where he has some kind of ongoing responsibility. That will help you see what he likes

As far as what kinds of colleges, there are large numbers of small colleges that aren't selective admissions wise, give good financial aid, and have good supports. Your kid will have choices.

This is excellent, excellent advice. OP, I'd also suggest you read "the self-driven child" which is (in large part) about re-framing your thinking to focus on the things your kid loves and their strengths, with good advice about how to navigate the high school years with a kid for whom "school" is not the thing. There are so many things your kid can be great at. Don't close doors now!

[Anonymous]

My brother-in-law has a similar profile. He nearly failed out of a no-name college. He’s very likable, easy to work with, and easy to coach. He got an entry level job doing back office work at some corporation. He went back for his MBA. Now he’s a VP at an investment bank.

[Anonymous]

With Bs in an "intense" school with no accommodations, he can absolutely go to college if he wants. Focus on getting appropriate accommodations in school and for standardized testing. Do everything you can in high school to build his executive function skills. Encourage a range of activities outside the classroom to build confidence and help explore interests. Starting the beginning of junior year, think about good fit colleges -- there are 4000 4-year schools, many of which offer significant merit aid to everyone and have strong supports.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar kid. He is off to college in the fall - to a state school that accepts 80% of applicants. He is really looking forward to it!

Two things. First, it isn’t your job to figure out what your kid’s career will be. Sure, introduce them to the wide world of work, but they have so much time, and they are so young and will change so much. I didn’t know what I would do for a living when I was 14, did you? I planned to be an archeologist, I think. I am most definitely not an archeologist. You don’t need to worry about this now. And when the time comes, she’s the one who will need to lead it, because she’ll have to own and manage the consequences.

Second, who the heck knows what the job market is going to look like in 4 years, or 8? Sure, trades sound safe. But AI is upending how work is done and what employers are going to look for. A diligent motivated kind person may have all sorts of employment potential that someone who can ace the SAT doesn’t have now that AI can ace the SAT and write software code, technical manuals, and read mammograms. Our kids are going to go into a different work world than we did, but that world hasn’t been created yet. It could be kind of exciting for kids with LDs!

[Anonymous]

OP here- Thanks everyone! These were all really kind and encouraging responses.

Some people were asking for more info--main interest for a future career (and has been for many years) is food/culinary/beverage, but NOT restaurant industry (due to lifestyle). Thinking more packaged goods/product development. If this is still an interest during application time I could see trying to find programs to provide those options.

If math wasn't a challenge I'd steer towards food science at a large state school--not closing that door and will see how math and high school science play out.

We are also open to letting them explore entrepreneurial paths if they have a foundation, a solid idea and good business sense (or willing to get input).

I currently live in the south (but was raised in intense/cut-throat NE area) and people (even in a highly educated/affluent cohort) are intense as they try to get DC a limited spot (from our school) at our respected flagship. However, attending "secondary"/non-flagship (high admit) schools is pretty common with no stigma. Grateful for that.

[Anonymous]

Food marketing major at St. Joe’s might be a good possibility.

[Anonymous]

A niche field that they enjoy that requires a limited skill set that can be learned and doesn’t vary much and has limited paperwork- car detailer, phlebotomist, pastry chef, landscaping, house painting, furniture refinishing, furniture recovering, meter reader, mailman, CNA that just does bathing, janitor, etc.