Think DW hates me

[Anonymous]

DW just got back from a week long cruise to celebrate her parents’ 50th anniversary.
She went with our 3 kids, her brother and his family, plus the in laws.
I had a work conflict when the cruise was booked. DW booked 2 rooms for her and the kids plus paid half of my in-laws’ suite.
My work conflict cleared 2 weeks before the cruise which I let my wife know immediately to see if I could join.
DW let me know before the cruise that there were no extra rooms and there wasn’t space to add me to one of the rooms. So I stayed home and went to work as usual and binge watched movies.
She just told me her brother got these really small rooms that only had space for 2 people apiece but the rooms she booked could have accommodated a 3rd person.
I’m left with the thought that my wife really did not want me to go. Odd to me because I usually spend all vacation time dealing with the kids. Money would not have been an issue either.
So does she hate me or is there another explanation?

[Anonymous]

They may not have let her add someone even though she thinks there would have been space. She may have been annoyed by this (wanting to add you but being unnecessarily restricted). Probably the best bet would be to talk to her more

[Anonymous]

likely an alcohol-fueled embarrassing in-law problem

[Anonymous]

Why can't she have a break from you? I need a break from you just after reading this.

[Anonymous]

Can you just ask her?

It seems strange to me she said you couldn't come.

[Anonymous]

I assume she didn't know in advance? Most rooms on cruise ships are very small.

[Anonymous]

Too little too late? Maybe she thinks you could have worked it out sooner. Waiting until the last minute adds stress.
She probably got used to the idea of being with her side of the family and then you threw in the last minute plot twist.
Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Your presence wasn’t wanted.
Ask her though.

[Anonymous]

Leaping to “she hates me” seems remarkably melodramatic and childish. Even if she wanted a week without you, which is unclear, why would that mean she hates you?

[Anonymous]

She didn’t want you there but that doesn’t mean she hates you. We can’t really know what she was thinking. Could be any number of things. How is your marriage generally? Is she often unkind or not thinking of you or is this out of character?

[Anonymous]

You should have posted this as the sexes reversed and it being the husband or wanting his wife to join the family vacation…now you will mostly just get man bashing / glorifying women posts.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you’re not as helpful with the kids as you think, maybe it was hard to change last minute, or maybe you make throwing around money an issue (like saying she paid 1/2 of ILs suite when it’s irrelevant). All possibilities.

Sometimes I enjoy being away from my husband even though I love and like him. A break is always good!

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you would even want to go on this trip. It sounds fine, but not great and kind of uncomfortable. Especially when the alternative is having the house to myself for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have posted this as the sexes reversed and it being the husband or wanting his wife to join the family vacation…now you will mostly just get man bashing / glorifying women posts.

It would have been obvious. There isn’t a woman on earth who would be upset about not getting to go on a cruise with her three children and her in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW just got back from a week long cruise to celebrate her parents’ 50th anniversary.
She went with our 3 kids, her brother and his family, plus the in laws.
I had a work conflict when the cruise was booked. DW booked 2 rooms for her and the kids plus paid half of my in-laws’ suite.
My work conflict cleared 2 weeks before the cruise which I let my wife know immediately to see if I could join.
DW let me know before the cruise that there were no extra rooms and there wasn’t space to add me to one of the rooms. So I stayed home and went to work as usual and binge watched movies.
She just told me her brother got these really small rooms that only had space for 2 people apiece but the rooms she booked could have accommodated a 3rd person.
I’m left with the thought that my wife really did not want me to go. Odd to me because I usually spend all vacation time dealing with the kids. Money would not have been an issue either.
So does she hate me or is there another explanation?

Maybe she didn’t realize the rooms could accommodate three until she was on the cruise. Even if she didn’t want you to go, it certainly doesn’t mean she hates you and it sounds like she initially invited you. In any case, you need to talk with her about it. Ask her why she said you couldn’t come when your work conflict cleared. Tell her you feel hurt and that you would have liked to have joined.