Was my best friend talking about me behind my back?

[Anonymous]

I’m getting married next month and my bachelorette is the end of the month. My finance’s bachelor party is the same weekend, and he’s potentially going to Colombia.

I called her on FaceTime and her male cousin grabbed the phone. The first thing he said was, “Can I go to Colombia? I heard that he may be going and it’s a competition, so now you all are going out of the country too? I heard that you guys can’t go because your friend is blocking”. In the midst of this I heard my friend say stop and called him a $hit starter.

After he gives her the phone she said he’s always trying to start stuff. She said earlier he asked what she did yesterday and she told him nothing. He asked what she did on Friday and she said nothing, just stayed in the house. She told him that she was glad because she’s had so much to do each weekend the last few months and the next thing in the bachelorette, so was happy for the down time. FYI, my bridal shower was last weekend. He was confused and thought it was the bachelorette last weekend. She corrected him and said no, it was last weekend and the bachelorette is the end of the month because my fiancé and I are having ours are the same weekend. He then asked her what we had planned. She told him we were going to NYC and that he was going to Colombia but didn’t think he was going out. That at one point, after hearing he was going there, that they (the bridesmaids) had planned to go to DR instead but another bridesmaid couldn’t because she’s in another wedding so it wasn’t feasible.

After she explained how this came up she said that she told him to stop because she didn’t want me to know that they had planned these other potential plans outside of the country. She said even though she didn’t think I would really care she didn’t want me to think, “oh dang that would’ve been nice it we could’ve gone”.

I feel like she’s been talking behind my back and this was an inappropriate conversation to have?

[Anonymous]

Teen marriage, OP?

[Anonymous]

This is impossible to follow.
Is your bachelorette supposed to be a surprise for you in terms of location?
Then her cousin is a jerk and potentially spoiling the surprise. Your friend isn't talking behind your back she is trying to arrange your surprise party juggling schedules.

[Anonymous]

There's so much wrong with all of this, and all the people, I'm rooting for the divorce.

[Anonymous]

This post makes no sense. You sound incredibly juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Cannot follow. Simply cannot. Gave up.

[Anonymous]

OP, your post is incredibly unclear. Please try again and tell us how old you are.

[Anonymous]

Unintelligible yet at the same time glaringly immature.

[Anonymous]

Grow the F**k up. You are not ready for marriage and are VERY immature.

[Anonymous]

I will try to make sense of this mess.

Bachelor party is in Colombia. Friend's cousin picked up phone and said he wanted to go to. Sounds like friend probably heard the bachelor party is going to be a great party and wanted to plan something similar for you (hence the competition) but your friend who said no to the DR blocked it. Your friend told her cousin to knock it off about trying to cause drama because you never even know about the DR plans and the friend saying no to them. And she didn't want you to find out in case you would be disappointed that that had been an option and now you're just doing NYC

There was no talking behind your back. This was just....your friend talking to her cousin.

You sound so dramatic and immature. This does not bode well for a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is impossible to follow.
Is your bachelorette supposed to be a surprise for you in terms of location?
Then her cousin is a jerk and potentially spoiling the surprise. Your friend isn't talking behind your back she is trying to arrange your surprise party juggling schedules.

Yes, kind of. I knew about NYC but not them planning something potentially out of the country after finding out my finance would be going out of the country.

I asked if she was talking behind my back for her to discuss why my fiancé going out of the country and why my other bridesmaid couldn’t go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is impossible to follow.
Is your bachelorette supposed to be a surprise for you in terms of location?
Then her cousin is a jerk and potentially spoiling the surprise. Your friend isn't talking behind your back she is trying to arrange your surprise party juggling schedules.

Yes, kind of. I knew about NYC but not them planning something potentially out of the country after finding out my finance would be going out of the country.

I asked if she was talking behind my back for her to discuss why my fiancé going out of the country and why my other bridesmaid couldn’t go.

It's not talking behind your back to talk to other people about you. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

It's also not talking behind your back to talk about other people like the one who nixed DR (thankfully) or the apparent non secret where the bachelor party is.

You may mean you are being left out of the loop or in the dark but if it's a surprise let it be. Jerky cousin is troublemaker.

This all sounds very LMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's also not talking behind your back to talk about other people like the one who nixed DR (thankfully) or the apparent non secret where the bachelor party is.

You may mean you are being left out of the loop or in the dark but if it's a surprise let it be. Jerky cousin is troublemaker.

This all sounds very LMC.

LMC? Nope. This sounds low-IQ.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she was!

Better cut her out of your life, OP.

And cancel the wedding while you're at it. They're all out to get you! Your "finance" should know not to have a fancier party than yours!