Curating the first night- help me plan

[Anonymous]

We are 47 and 50, one divorced and the other about to finalize. Given Virginia's less than forgiving adultery laws, we've been abstaining through our separations. It's actually been wonderful just dating and really getting to know each other. We have insane chemistry, there's so much tension.

Now that we can finally(!) after six months... connect, it feels like it deserves a little creativity. I would love any and all (appropriate to the forum) suggestions!

[Anonymous]

relac and enjoy. i get your excitment but I feel like trying to make it extra special might create too much pressure and lead to disappointment. just do what you have been doing and don't stop if you don't want to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:relac and enjoy. i get your excitment but I feel like trying to make it extra special might create too much pressure and lead to disappointment. just do what you have been doing and don't stop if you don't want to

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Great for you guys. You give me hope. I am a 48 years old divorced man so far no luck. I am looking for women up to 52, but I am not getting a lot of successes on OLD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:relac and enjoy. i get your excitment but I feel like trying to make it extra special might create too much pressure and lead to disappointment. just do what you have been doing and don't stop if you don't want to

+1. I read somewhere (maybe questionable source) that more than 70% of men over 45 have some form ED without cardiovascular issues being the cause. So, don't put pressure on him. The woman will be fine. Sure you guys may have your own sexual challenges as you age, but I don't think you have barriers the way older men do that prevent intercourse.

[Anonymous]

Planning the scene, waxing, getting lingerie, candles...too much stress. Have a nice lunch at a patio restaurant, go walking in the woods, come home...sit on the deck ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Planning the scene, waxing, getting lingerie, candles...too much stress. Have a nice lunch at a patio restaurant, go walking in the woods, come home...sit on the deck ..

this. go for a walk, hold hands, kissing, touching, come back to unwind for a back massage....keep it simple and sensual.

[Anonymous]

Have something delicious in the fridge for after. Fancy snacks.

[Anonymous]

thigh highs and heels, dim lights and sultry music

[Anonymous]

Viagra.

[Anonymous]

Don't "curate" the first night. That's your best plan. Let it be awkward, spontaneous, and lighthearted. Don't pressure yourself or your partner. Just go with the flow. Nothing ruins sex like a bunch of hype and expectations. Honestly? I'd go into it expecting it to be awkward and "meh" at best. Be ready to laugh that off. Don't take it so damned seriously! It's supposed to be fun closeness, not some pr0nworthy "performance".

It's improv theatre, not classical ballet. Try to just be in the moment and see what feels good to you both instead of scripting it. Once you know more about what you like you can "spice it up". Be clean. Be present. Be willing (g/g/g).

[Anonymous]

Buy very expensive lingerie, candles everywhere, rose petals leading up to the bed from the front door, Marvin Gaye on the speakers, a roast chicken in the oven for after, unusual choice of sex toys laid out and easy to access, viagra on the night table in case he has any challenges, a boudoir photographer on hand to document things before they get too steamy, an IG post written beforehand and ready to go so you can post immediately after and make all of your friends jealous. Mazal tov! May you be fruitful and multiply!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:relac and enjoy. i get your excitment but I feel like trying to make it extra special might create too much pressure and lead to disappointment. just do what you have been doing and don't stop if you don't want to

.+1 who needs creativity when there is that much chemistry? Don’t overthink it. Just enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Maybe get those plastic hanging beads for the door of your room.

[Anonymous]

Op here. These are hilarious, thank you. Nothing like entering a boudoir to this scene.

So setting aside a polarizing verb and the fact that I am barely even on IG, I'm just looking for something a little extra. We have intense physical attraction (just bc we've waited, doesn't mean we don't know what's coming). Zero concerns for him performing.

I like the idea of a walk before, maybe an al fresco dinner. We'll probably have to be away since we both still have kids at home, so maybe get the suite. The reason I'm planning vs him is I'll be the first to know when we're finalized and feel like surprising him. He is usually the one treating.