Nobody is empathetic anymore?

[Anonymous]

I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

[Anonymous]

They imagine you'll get a big settlement, and don't really need this job

Btw, hope you've contacted a good lawyer, they are working on the case right now -- and you have nit signed-away your rights to sue.

[Anonymous]

I own a business and have been on both sides - cancelling on clients because of an emergency, having employees cancel on me because of an emergency, and clients canceling because of an emergency.

Most of us are too busy and have so much on our plate, and yes, cancelling no matter the cause IS a massive inconvenience that means hours of additional work and money finding a replacement.

Most of us have also dealt with people who create fake emergencies to get out of contracts. I’ve hired people who faked emergencies because they found a better offer or didn’t like that I had certain standards.

When I’ve cancelled on clients, I don’t expect anything from them. That’s not their responsibility. What else are they supposed to say? It’s not their job to comfort you. That’s completely unprofessional to expect anything beyond “ok”.

[Anonymous]

I am very sorry about your son and I hope he makes a full recovery. If I knew you I would be offering to help in any way (meals, laundry, running errands, sitting with you at the hospital). Take care.

[Anonymous]

Honestly it's because SO many people are faking scammers who just say that they're having a family emergency. Or they are someone who is always in a crisis and people tire of it.

I'm sorry about your dh

[Anonymous]

So very sorry about your DH. Some people are sometimes so tunnel-focused on WHAT you’re telling them that the WHY doesn’t really register. It’s like Charlie Brown’s parents: “Mmmm mmm whaaa mmm cancel your order mmmah whaaa mmmm mmmm.” It may not really register what you are telling them. Others are devoid of sympathy and it’s sad.

Wishing your husband a speedy recovery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I own a business and have been on both sides - cancelling on clients because of an emergency, having employees cancel on me because of an emergency, and clients canceling because of an emergency.

Most of us are too busy and have so much on our plate, and yes, cancelling no matter the cause IS a massive inconvenience that means hours of additional work and money finding a replacement.

Most of us have also dealt with people who create fake emergencies to get out of contracts. I’ve hired people who faked emergencies because they found a better offer or didn’t like that I had certain standards.

When I’ve cancelled on clients, I don’t expect anything from them. That’s not their responsibility. What else are they supposed to say? It’s not their job to comfort you. That’s completely unprofessional to expect anything beyond “ok”.

Oh the old « everyone is so busy » line.

[Anonymous]

you have no back-up?

and what about the lawyer question?

[Anonymous]

His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm really sorry. Wishing your husband a Swift recovery and hope you have the support you need.

I experienced so watching similar when I had severe PPD. I had to take a leave of absence and did not return to my job after maternity leave. It was an incredibly difficult time for me and my family, but people were very unfeeling.

You realize which people actually care about your well being in these situations. Most people don't. It's so wrong but I've found in better off understanding this. Now that prioritizing my mental health is such a priority, I always remind myself that when I struggled, most people I worked with were indifferent. It makes it easier to maintain emotional distance at work.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP. That sounds like an awful situation. I hope he has a good recovery. People are really self-centered and horrible now.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry for your husband! I hope he's not in too much pain, and that he'll fully recover.

Please don't expect sympathy in business. People are really busy and don't pause to think beyond acknowledging receipt of information. It doesn't mean they're monsters, OP. In real life, if they knew you, they'd be a lot more sympathetic. But at work, people think business, that's all.

Best wishes. You will get through this.

[Anonymous]

What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

Were YOU empathetic about whatever stress and extra burden cancelling your agreements caused them? Your post suggests not. "I work in a frivolous industry so this isn't like medicine or law" implies you bailing on your agreements wasn't allowed to matter to your clients. Check your own self-centered lack of compassion first, OP. I'm sorry life got lifey and lifed you, but you then lifed a bunch of other people who had already fulfilled their part of the bargain. They don't owe you empathy.

There sure does seem to be a lot of 'main character syndrome' going around these days...