Explain to me ex's relationship with new girlfriend

[Anonymous]

She is early 30s, he is mid 40s. She is divorced and has 2 kids, he has 4 kids. He is 5'7", balding, and controlling. While he had a nice face when he was younger, at this point he looks pretty unattractive. He does make $350,000 per year. This can only be for the money, right? I can't imagine truly falling for him at this stage in his life. I'm worried about what will happen to the kids if she's a gold digger.

[Anonymous]

Are the 4 kids yours too?

[Anonymous]

$350k with 4 kids doesn’t go all that far after a divorce and child support. It must be true love.

[Anonymous]

If she earns $50k a year, $350K may feel rich to her. Plus, he may have lied about his income. Also, maybe her life is chaotic and she likes controlling OR maybe he's less controlling with her than was with you. Or, maybe she's the type who likes a project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she earns $50k a year, $350K may feel rich to her. Plus, he may have lied about his income. Also, maybe her life is chaotic and she likes controlling OR maybe he's less controlling with her than was with you. Or, maybe she's the type who likes a project.

Yes the 4 kids are mine too. As far as I know she treats the kids well enough. Her kids are older.

I imagine her life has been chaotic but to choose to care for someone else's kids under a controlling man seems awful. Yes I think he likely is just as controlling over her as he was over me, because they have a much bigger age difference and I had more education and better career prospects.

[Anonymous]

She's only in her early 30s and her kids are older? So at least 10? Or even teens? So she had kids young. To her, a guy who is disciplined enough to have a great job and raise four kids probably seems very stable and a great catch.

[Anonymous]

Do you have college plans set up for the kids?

[Anonymous]

Why do you care? What you don't find attractive someone else sure will.

Focus on making sure college is funded for those four kids and MYOB Ma'am

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t have years of resentment built up towards him that is affecting her view of him. Men’s faces don’t change that much, you don’t find him attractive because you don’t like him.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard dating as a single women with kids, the pool of men interested is much smaller. And it’s likely hard finding someone that can also provide - 350k is a lot comparatively so it’s likely been enough to compensate for the lack of looks and height. Who knows?

[Anonymous]

She may not have a problem with his looks. I have no problem with middle aged men. For me, as long as they make it to average, I care more about other things. I also like kids. In other words, she may actually live him. If I were you, I’d focus on getting my kids’ college set up and be happy that he’s with someone who is nice to them.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's short too. 5'7 is not a problem for a 5'0 woman.

[Anonymous]

She’ll have more babies with him and he’ll spend less money and time on your kids. Story old as time.

[Anonymous]

I read this quote recently that said something like, “if you can understand it, then you can rationalize it, and forgive it. Sometimes not being able to understand it is to protect your peace”.

[Anonymous]

He's probably not controlling her...yet. Lots of those guys are great love bombers up front.