Forum Index
»
LGBTQIA+ Issues and Relationship Discussion
Exit plan for young trans woman
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My 19 yo child began medically transitioning in October. I’m terrified for her in this political climate Like terrified the federal government will “disappear” her faster than a legal Venezuelan with a tattoo. I am looking for advice on how to develop a plan for wisking her away if things get that bad. I have no solid connections to any foreign country. Anyone BTDT? I also need advice for calming myself down, I know. I live in VA and she is in college in California. |
Anonymous
|
I think Canada is the plan. She can stay in Canada for six months without a visa either as a tourist, with you supporting her financially, or as a digital nomad with a remote job for an American employer. That's long enough for her to hopefully find and apply to a college program up there and transition to a student visa.
|
Anonymous
|
Hi,
I would look at the Mama Bears or Mama Dragons groups. You can Google them. They are a lot better for support for parents of trans people. They aren't anonymous and require vetting, so you won't get a lot of the rude and hateful comments you might on DCUM. I also have a 19 year old trans daughter, although she transitioned several years ago. My worries are more about her losing access to her medication than being deported. I don't think that will happen. I have thought about where she might go, and if we would go, if the sh-- really hit the fan and they take away access to her meds. But I can't say I have a great solution. If your daughter is in college and has supportive parents, she's in a much better situation than a lot of trans people. Canada is the obvious easiest answer, especially if she is a good student. My child is only a rising Sophomore, and she loves her college. But I have thought she might go somewhere else for grad school if things don't get better---or get worse. I definitely freak out. I freak out more than she does. I find when I do things, I feel a little better. When I take some action to try and voice my concerns and anger, I feel better. Being around a community of other parents who also worry helps me feel less alone. I could say--we just have to get through 3 more years. Or maybe just 1 if Democrats can get it together, but I don't have much faith in the direction our country is headed and where my family fits into it. |
Anonymous
|
California is one of the better places to live for trans people if she stays in the US, at least for now. If she likes CA, she should try to stay. It's expensive but worth it for many people.
CA Fair Housing and Employment Act protects trans people. |
Anonymous
^^this and also look at states. We have to suffer through and hopeful the tide changes in 2030. If you are in VA get to MD; DC get to MD; look at states that honor trans people vs. shit show states like Georgia. There are universities; jobs; homes etc. A friend of mine with a trans son (16) has this plan in place - they live in a very red place. The Dad intentionally gave up medical parentage and custody (he's a dr.) so if she leaves the state with their son he won't have a claim. Dad did this to protect his son not to hurt him. He's a medical doctor and would never have allowed medical therapies if it wasn't "real", nothing medical happened until their DS was 14 btw. BTW in the beginning dad wasn't so supportive; dead named; didn't believe and the kid didn't want to see him. But he finally saw the light. Their issue as a family is the two non trans kids. If mom flees with their trans son do the younger two go. Also trans son knows the world is better when he can be free of these red state loons and move to a more progressive state. |
Anonymous
This has literally never happened, so it's a very irrational thing to be afraid of. It's like saying, "I'm afraid a spider is going to blow my house down." |
Anonymous
This! OP, please talk to your doctor or find a mental health professional. This sounds like irrational paranoia. |
Anonymous
This is why I suggest groups devoted to parents of trans kids. |
Anonymous
Given that this administration rode to power on a platform of hate against two groups of people, immigrants and trans people, and members of the first group have been disappeared many times at this point, I think it’s an understandable worry. It’s nothing like your analogy, it’s more like being the sheep who live next door to pig #2 and worrying about the Big Bad Wolf. |
Anonymous
| ^This is truly crazy. |
Anonymous
|
Have her birth certificate changed to her correct gender.
https://www.peoples-law.org/changing-sex-listed-your-maryland-birth-certificate |
Anonymous
I don’t think it is terribly likely but your analogy is awful. I think there is a non zero chance that Trump would jail trans people. And for the record, Jews being shippes off an exterminated in concentration camps also wasn’t a thing…. Until it was. |
Anonymous
+1000 I am horrified that some people are calling legitimate fears unfounded. This previous poster is completely correct. How many immigrants were kidnapped and are now in a foreign prison for life? Trans people and LGBTQ+ are Trump’s next target. Project 2025 also wants LGBTQ+ people to loose the right to marry, and state bills saying only heterosexual couples can marry are being voted on as we speak. MAGA plans on overturning LGBTQ+ marriage in the Supreme Court, and will likely win with this court. After that, Project 2025 wants to undo interracial marriage. |
Anonymous
I think Trump has higher priorities, like going after all the law firms and attorneys who opposed him during his first administration. |
Anonymous
No is not you are not paying attention. This administration is like none other we have ever had. Stephen Miller has plans and they are horrifying. Trump is just the pawn. Heritage Foundation, Miller and his band of sycophants and the Christian right are coming in fast. It will be devastating to all not just trans. Defy their words and jail it is with zero due process. |