Milestone birthday amidst job loss
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Anonymous
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Sigh. Yes this is a woe is me post. Skip if you’re going to be a jerk because I’m down already. And yes I know plenty of people have it worse than me. But I’m feeling sulky right now.
I’m turning 40 in July. I had always planned that I’d buy myself a piece of fine jewelry to mark the milestone (I want a Tiffany lock bracelet, I know it’s marked up because of the brand but I love it). But I know I can’t because I’m on the cusp of losing my job thanks to DOGE (contractor who is waiting for the destruction of the turn of the fiscal year). I have the money in savings but I know I have to save it for when I no longer have a job. It just sucks. I’ve been so successful in my career and I wanted to celebrate turning 40. Instead my career is imploding. And I’m sad that instead of marking my milestone birthday I have to use that money to make up for the fact that my career has been taken away from me. So DCUM, my question for you is am I allowed to spend any money on myself for my birthday knowing I’ll likely not have a job in a few short months (I know the bracelet is off the table) or do I just need to continue to be as frugal as possible. For what it’s worth, I currently make ~$200K/year. I have about $65K in liquid savings and another $125K in non-retirement stocks. Sigh. |
Anonymous
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Well, you already know that it’s not the best financial choice - it’s not prudent at all. But yes, you are allowed to buy yourself a birthday present. You don’t have to make perfect financial decisions. For example, I will always regret that I said no to a couple of destination weddings when I was younger because I didn’t have the money, and the reality is that, in the overall scheme of my finances, the rare splurge would have been fine. And the experience, the memories, the showing up for important relationships would have been worth it.
But also, perhaps you can set aside the money for the purchase and save it until you have a new job lined up. And buying it for yourself even if your future salary is lower than your current salary. And think of it as a present not just for your birthday, but also for being resilient and surviving a hard time. And for holding onto the cash and taking care of yourself financially. I think life is hard and many financially prudent people don’t celebrate enough, but maybe you can make the gift mean even more than just turning 40. |
Anonymous
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How many months living expenses is $65k?
The end of the fiscal year is 4 months away. Any job leads? If you look, line up references, work your network, you are allowed to buy the bracelet. If you just mope, you are not. |
Anonymous
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I turned 40 when the Covid lockdown was announced. Had to cancel the party and everything. It completely sucked, because hardly anyone even remembered to wish me a Happy Birthday, they were all so concerned, and understandably so.
To your question, yes, you should celebrate your birthday! But I would do something affordable, because if you're at all like me, it would stress out me out more to spend than not, given the work situation. Affordable doesn't mean not fun! Make the occasion memorable without spending large sums. Invite your favorite people to a picnic and watch the sunset with you in a nice spot. |
Anonymous
| Omg yes, buy the bracelet! You have more than enough in savings and the time to live is now. The world is on fire anyways… |
Anonymous
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Just believe you will be fine! Buy the bracelet!
-signed someone who bought a $3k purse while I was laid off. Employed again. And I love my bag and it’s only gotten more expensive. |
Anonymous
Same! Turned 40 a week into lockdown, had to cancel a big trip that has never been rescheduled, got furloughed for three months and when I went back it was only part-time, totally changing our finances for two full years. I am sympathetic OP because I remember how disheartening it was to have my entire life flipped on its head right before a big birthday like that, but also to feel guilty for feeling bad about it because so many people were in far worse circumstances. It's a lonely feeling. My recommendation is to sit down and put together a conservative but realistic budget for the next six months and then decide how much you could realistically spend on yourself for your birthday without hurting that budget. Then make the most of it. You aren't in dire straights and yes you can afford to treat yourself. You just need to figure out how big of a treat and feel really confident in the amount you're spending. You're going to be okay. |
Anonymous
| Where is all your money going? You cannot afford it regardless. |
Anonymous
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You don’t have that much money saved for someone your age and now you want to spend more money to signify you’re getting even older? And on top of that you’re going to poorly troll about how it’s all DOGE’s fault when really you just can’t budget?
Spend that money on a finance class for the middle aged instead. |
Anonymous
| Don’t buy the bracket until you have a new job. You won’t have the same joy wearing it when it’s coupled with guilt and money fear. Instead of buying it to mark your birthday, buy it to celebrate your new job and the fact that you preserved. |
Anonymous
| That bracelet is not going anywhere. Wait until you have a new job. |
Anonymous
| At your salary your savings are very modest. You need to build up a nest egg and not buy jewelry. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry you are in that situation OP.
But listen. You don't have to spend a lot of money to celebrate your 40th birthday. There are many other ways to celebrate that don't involve spending ten of thousand of dollars. Regardless of your current job situation, your income and assets are low to justify spending money on a Tiffany lock bracelet. The problem isn't that you'll lose your job, it is that you have very expensive tastes. If you insist on buying the bracelet, delay the purchase until after you find a new job. It's ok to get your birthday gift months after your birthday. |
Anonymous
| Buy a knock off of the bracelet now and the real one when you get your new job first paycheck! |
Anonymous
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Nothing is wrong with you earnings or your life. You have no reason to feel sulky. You created the feeling to have an excuse to buy it. Go get the bracelet. See it it works and report back.
I make $30k a year and have for two decades. I'm not afraid to lose my job. I have one million in investments. I feel great. |