Sitting with fear and discomfort

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure if this belongs in religion since it’s more spirituality, but wasn’t sure what else to put it. I recently read Pema Chodrons “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times“. She talks about instead of avoiding pain and discomfort, sitting with it or running toward it. I’ve heard so many spiritual teachers talk about sitting with fear/ anxiety, but I have to be honest. I don’t even know what that means. If I’m in a doctors appointment worried about a procedure. What does it mean to sit with that fear instead of avoiding it? Does this make sense to anyone or is anyone else confused by this? Just interested on different perspectives.

[Anonymous]

Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. So worried about a procedure means being scared and getting it done anyway, acknowledging that you're scared and digging into why - are you afraid it'll hurt, afraid of the results, worried about getting home afterwards, etc.

[Anonymous]

I just posted in a different forum. Shit is getting really bad at work and I want desperately to stay home tomorrow. My team needs me so I will get up and get to work early.

[Anonymous]

I was recently hospitalized and had several tests that I had always feared. I just decided that it was ok to be afraid, but I would remain calm. Turns out, I worried for nothing. Just a bit of discomfort and I just breathed through it. I was honest with the nurses about my fears and they understood. I definitely sat in the fear for the day leading up to the tests. Only expressed my fear to the nurses at the test area. No talking about it with family. As an anxious person, I was so damn proud of myself. I am no spring chicken and I will never fear a procedure again. Yay me!!

[Anonymous]

My mom betrayed my trust and rejected me. Sitting with it means feeling the abandonment wound and not escaping into an alternate reality - numbing with food, alcohol, movies, whatever.

And then it is radically accepting reality and letting go of any semblance of a hope that my mom will ever be who I want her to be.

It’s been almost 3 years and I’m just starting to feel a little better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure if this belongs in religion since it’s more spirituality, but wasn’t sure what else to put it. I recently read Pema Chodrons “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times“. She talks about instead of avoiding pain and discomfort, sitting with it or running toward it. I’ve heard so many spiritual teachers talk about sitting with fear/ anxiety, but I have to be honest. I don’t even know what that means. If I’m in a doctors appointment worried about a procedure. What does it mean to sit with that fear instead of avoiding it? Does this make sense to anyone or is anyone else confused by this? Just interested on different perspectives.

I'm not religious or spiritual. What I am is optimistic. I can always see the bright side. When things are bad, I'm sure they'll get better. They always do. Lucky me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom betrayed my trust and rejected me. Sitting with it means feeling the abandonment wound and not escaping into an alternate reality - numbing with food, alcohol, movies, whatever.

And then it is radically accepting reality and letting go of any semblance of a hope that my mom will ever be who I want her to be.

It’s been almost 3 years and I’m just starting to feel a little better.

Glad you're feeling better. Hopefully soon it will no longer be part of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just posted in a different forum. Shit is getting really bad at work and I want desperately to stay home tomorrow. My team needs me so I will get up and get to work early.

Good for you. Remember - you're part of a team. Not the whole team.

[Anonymous]

It's a load of shite, OP.

I have severe anxiety and a panic disorder. Some days are worse than others. There are days when I can feel my throat constrict, my muscles tense, I can't relax physically and I have to keep doing breathing exercises to not go into full-blown panic attack (the kind where you're sure you're dying of a heart attack).

There are some nights when I am pulled out of a deep sleep right into a full-blown panic attack, with no warning.

So. I often sit with fear and discomfort. And it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a load of shite, OP.

I have severe anxiety and a panic disorder. Some days are worse than others. There are days when I can feel my throat constrict, my muscles tense, I can't relax physically and I have to keep doing breathing exercises to not go into full-blown panic attack (the kind where you're sure you're dying of a heart attack).

There are some nights when I am pulled out of a deep sleep right into a full-blown panic attack, with no warning.

So. I often sit with fear and discomfort. And it sucks.

This is OP and I also have generalized anxiety and PTSD. I too feel like I’m always sitting with it, what’s my other option!? So the term confused me because it doesnt get better NO matter how mindful I am.

[Anonymous]

To me, it is the idea of accepting that you are feeling a certain way but also acknowledging that you do not have to act in your feelings. It is about recognizing that you are separate from your brain and feelings are doing at the moment. You let your body do its thing and then acknowledge ok, my body/brain/heart is xyz, then let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, it is the idea of accepting that you are feeling a certain way but also acknowledging that you do not have to act in your feelings. It is about recognizing that you are separate from your brain and feelings are doing at the moment. You let your body do its thing and then acknowledge ok, my body/brain/heart is xyz, then let it go.

The above sounds like a good approach to the issue.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I sit in fear probably 80+% of the time, because I have anxiety. To me sitting in fear is not something to seek or a positive, it's pretty awful. I do most things while deeply scared. I'd rather not do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, it is the idea of accepting that you are feeling a certain way but also acknowledging that you do not have to act in your feelings. It is about recognizing that you are separate from your brain and feelings are doing at the moment. You let your body do its thing and then acknowledge ok, my body/brain/heart is xyz, then let it go.

Yep. This sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, it is the idea of accepting that you are feeling a certain way but also acknowledging that you do not have to act in your feelings. It is about recognizing that you are separate from your brain and feelings are doing at the moment. You let your body do its thing and then acknowledge ok, my body/brain/heart is xyz, then let it go.

Yes, this is how I've read it described also. It's letting your body/mind feel, but also not letting those feelings drive immediate action (which immediate action is usually to try and change the feelings).