Birthday party with limited "friends"

[Anonymous]

My DS only has maybe 1-3 kids considered "friends". They don't even talk or interact with each other at school, but he is fine with them. He is not proactive reaching out or talking to other kids through school or through sport soccer/basketball teams. Well, his social skill is not good because he has high functioning asd and adhd. We really want to throw him a small birthday party this winter, his first ever as a will be 4th grader. His younger sibling DD (high functioning asd & adhd) will be going to have her first big birthday party next year, and she can easily give me a list of 15-20 kids. My issue is on my DS, and I don't want him to feel hurt and sad. How many min. kids can it work to throw a birthday party? For that small age group, what is popular venue, bowling? Arcade game D&B ? We have never thrown any birthday party before, we will use group birthday package for my DD. I need options for my DS with only a few so called "friends" to make it work. It will be in early December, and we live close to Gaithersburg HS.

[Anonymous]

You need to have a very small party. Does he LIKE bowling? Can he do that without throwing bowling balls around? Will he stay in his (literal) lane? Would he be overstimulated in an arcade?

Don't worry about your other kid - everyone gets what is right for them. Fair does not meal equal.

[Anonymous]

What about an experience such as taking those 2-3 kids to the movies, a baseball game, a bounce house, mini golf, etc?

[Anonymous]

Choose a venue your son likes and would feel comfortable at. These parties do not need to be the same, and certainly do not plan a party your son doesn't like just because your daughter had a certain type of party.

Consider taking the group to a movie. Or have them to your house for video games, pizza and cake.

[Anonymous]

I think you need at least two guests. But, it is not uncommon for families to celebrate a birthday with a special outing instead of a party. Maybe with just one friend. There is no need for a party if your son would not like it or does not have anyone to invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need at least two guests. But, it is not uncommon for families to celebrate a birthday with a special outing instead of a party. Maybe with just one friend. There is no need for a party if your son would not like it or does not have anyone to invite.

This. Don't do a party venue. Do some kind of excursion like the movies, a sporting event, a show, a meal out (hibachi goes over well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS only has maybe 1-3 kids considered "friends". They don't even talk or interact with each other at school, but he is fine with them. He is not proactive reaching out or talking to other kids through school or through sport soccer/basketball teams. Well, his social skill is not good because he has high functioning asd and adhd. We really want to throw him a small birthday party this winter, his first ever as a will be 4th grader. His younger sibling DD (high functioning asd & adhd) will be going to have her first big birthday party next year, and she can easily give me a list of 15-20 kids. My issue is on my DS, and I don't want him to feel hurt and sad. How many min. kids can it work to throw a birthday party? For that small age group, what is popular venue, bowling? Arcade game D&B ? We have never thrown any birthday party before, we will use group birthday package for my DD. I need options for my DS with only a few so called "friends" to make it work. It will be in early December, and we live close to Gaithersburg HS.

What's your son's favorite activity? Do that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need at least two guests. But, it is not uncommon for families to celebrate a birthday with a special outing instead of a party. Maybe with just one friend. There is no need for a party if your son would not like it or does not have anyone to invite.

This. Don't do a party venue. Do some kind of excursion like the movies, a sporting event, a show, a meal out (hibachi goes over well).

+1 and work with the parents of the few kids to confirm a time and let them know if it will just be a couple kids. Might make them less likely to flake if something else comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS only has maybe 1-3 kids considered "friends". They don't even talk or interact with each other at school, but he is fine with them. He is not proactive reaching out or talking to other kids through school or through sport soccer/basketball teams. Well, his social skill is not good because he has high functioning asd and adhd. We really want to throw him a small birthday party this winter, his first ever as a will be 4th grader. His younger sibling DD (high functioning asd & adhd) will be going to have her first big birthday party next year, and she can easily give me a list of 15-20 kids. My issue is on my DS, and I don't want him to feel hurt and sad. How many min. kids can it work to throw a birthday party? For that small age group, what is popular venue, bowling? Arcade game D&B ? We have never thrown any birthday party before, we will use group birthday package for my DD. I need options for my DS with only a few so called "friends" to make it work. It will be in early December, and we live close to Gaithersburg HS.

What's your son's favorite activity? Do that!

Op here. Play video games and watch YouTube are his favorite activities. I think he has mentioned that he wants to try bowling but he has never tried it. He loves D&B but I can't keep track of kids if they all run around or decide not to stick together when there's other crowds. We don't have video games at home. I think he will take anything, but it is a really good question.

[Anonymous]

I’d spend the summer making more friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need at least two guests. But, it is not uncommon for families to celebrate a birthday with a special outing instead of a party. Maybe with just one friend. There is no need for a party if your son would not like it or does not have anyone to invite.

This. Don't do a party venue. Do some kind of excursion like the movies, a sporting event, a show, a meal out (hibachi goes over well).

+1 and work with the parents of the few kids to confirm a time and let them know if it will just be a couple kids. Might make them less likely to flake if something else comes up.

He is the only SN kid, and other "friends" are all NT. This is a good one. I am not even that close with other parents, how do you confirm with other parents on date/time in a nice way? Those "friends" may get surprised that they get invites. I will try to connect with those parents over this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d spend the summer making more friends.

Op here. How? We don't have neighborhood pool, and he will not do any team sports this summer. He will be in different day camps this summer every single week, and we don't have neighborhood kids around his age. I need to step in to help him.

[Anonymous]

Has he been to Medieval Times? Would be like that? This is something you could go to with 1-2 friends. They eat with their hands, watch the show and you drive home. It’s cheesy, silly, it’s a lot of food and again, they eat with their hands. It could be lots of fun as long as it’s not too stimulating. They make an announcement for those there for birthdays.

[Anonymous]

^it is at Arundel Mills mall.

[Anonymous]

4th grade was similar for my HF ASD/ADHD DD. We ended up not doing a party. If we had one, a movie would have been ok given similar friend dynamics