When do assets become shared

[Anonymous]

We know a woman who moved in with a guy and started saying everything was ours. It was our house, our car, our kitchen appliances, etc. it seemed early to say they were a we and everything was ours.

Is it when you become engaged? When you get married?

We didn’t really combine finances until we had a baby. I didn’t feel like we shared everything until we had our second child. This was after five years of marriage and about 10 years total together.

[Anonymous]

I mean ... they moved in together. The word "ours" makes more sense than not.

You sound jealous or something. It's bizarre that you didn't feel you "shared everything" until you had a "second child." What was wrong with the first one?

[Anonymous]

This is weird. Why would she say “Larlo’s fridge” when she lives there as well? “I was at Larlo’s house cooking on Larlo’s stove then we ate off of Larlo’s plates….”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... they moved in together. The word "ours" makes more sense than not.

You sound jealous or something. It's bizarre that you didn't feel you "shared everything" until you had a "second child." What was wrong with the first one?

We didn’t fully combine finances until the second child. We also rented so there was no shared own home.

I just thought it seemed odd for someone to move into another person’s home (owned) and say it is her home as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is weird. Why would she say “Larlo’s fridge” when she lives there as well? “I was at Larlo’s house cooking on Larlo’s stove then we ate off of Larlo’s plates….”

Point taken. You would say, please come over to our house for dinner, not Steve’s house.

I have been married for over a decade. I did not live with DH before we were married.

[Anonymous]

The answer is whenever they decide they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... they moved in together. The word "ours" makes more sense than not.

You sound jealous or something. It's bizarre that you didn't feel you "shared everything" until you had a "second child." What was wrong with the first one?

We didn’t fully combine finances until the second child. We also rented so there was no shared own home.

I just thought it seemed odd for someone to move into another person’s home (owned) and say it is her home as well.

I moved into DHs house a few months after we started dating. I would say stuff like your house, your couch etc. One day I made comment that involved “your house” DH paused what he was doing and said “I don’t want a mine and yours type of relationship. That type of relationship doesn’t work for me. I want an ours type of relationship. Are you ok with that, if not I understand.”

The good type of fear and love smacked me in the face hard that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... they moved in together. The word "ours" makes more sense than not.

You sound jealous or something. It's bizarre that you didn't feel you "shared everything" until you had a "second child." What was wrong with the first one?

We didn’t fully combine finances until the second child. We also rented so there was no shared own home.

I just thought it seemed odd for someone to move into another person’s home (owned) and say it is her home as well.

Uh - she lives there. It’s her home. Or would you prefer she refers to herself as “homeless?” And her kitchen as her “partner’s kitchen?” That would be really f-ing weird and a red flag for the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Ehhh. They aren’t married or even engaged
So no it’s not ours we.

[Anonymous]

Never if you aren’t married. Only what’s earned after marriage is shared legally in some states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... they moved in together. The word "ours" makes more sense than not.

You sound jealous or something. It's bizarre that you didn't feel you "shared everything" until you had a "second child." What was wrong with the first one?

We didn’t fully combine finances until the second child. We also rented so there was no shared own home.

I just thought it seemed odd for someone to move into another person’s home (owned) and say it is her home as well.

Uh - she lives there. It’s her home. Or would you prefer she refers to herself as “homeless?” And her kitchen as her “partner’s kitchen?” That would be really f-ing weird and a red flag for the relationship.

She is homeless, trading sex for temporary shelter. She has no legal claim to where she lives, only her boyfriend's ongoing permission.

[Anonymous]

Never for me. First DH put me into debt, my other partner had $0 net worth at 39 when we met. How the heck do I combine anything with people bad with money.
I went on to do well keeping everything separately. One is still broke and the other is dead. I know only few people good with money, men or women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We know a woman who moved in with a guy and started saying everything was ours. It was our house, our car, our kitchen appliances, etc. it seemed early to say they were a we and everything was ours.

Is it when you become engaged? When you get married?

We didn’t really combine finances until we had a baby. I didn’t feel like we shared everything until we had our second child. This was after five years of marriage and about 10 years total together.

She can say "ours" all she wants. Legally, it's not hers until: (a) they are married, (b) live together for a certain number of years to be considered a common law wife, which only some states recognize.

[Anonymous]

Would you believe every couple does it differently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... they moved in together. The word "ours" makes more sense than not.

You sound jealous or something. It's bizarre that you didn't feel you "shared everything" until you had a "second child." What was wrong with the first one?

We didn’t fully combine finances until the second child. We also rented so there was no shared own home.

I just thought it seemed odd for someone to move into another person’s home (owned) and say it is her home as well.

Uh - she lives there. It’s her home. Or would you prefer she refers to herself as “homeless?” And her kitchen as her “partner’s kitchen?” That would be really f-ing weird and a red flag for the relationship.

She is homeless, trading sex for temporary shelter. She has no legal claim to where she lives, only her boyfriend's ongoing permission.

In many jurisdictions, she'd have tenant rights after living there for 30 days.