Petition to expand military spouse exemption

[Anonymous]

To divorced spouses who are full time parents to children of military, diplomatic, and national security personnel.

Could this ever gain traction?
Because that is where I am. I have our kids FT because their dad frequently travels and/or long term overseas post and the kids can’t go with him.

RTO for me has meant spending 3.5 hours commuting every day to a location nearly 50 miles away. This has turned my kids lives upside down. I am gone from early morning until evening. We are only about a month in but already feeling a lot of pain and I am worried about summer. They are too old for camps but too young to completely be on their own. And my agency also canceled compelling reasons exceptions and my medical RA was denied.

I get that they don’t want to help a divorced spouse of military, but shouldn’t someone care about how it affects the kids?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, nobody cares. I feel your pain because I'm in a similar position. I just applied for a different job because the hours better align with me caring for kids solo in an area I was forced to move to by the military.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, those currently in charge of federal employees’ schedules don’t care about the kids. Sorry it took this for you to realize that.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is an active military spouse and they've denied her exeption so they're not even following policy for currently married spouses.

The don't actually give a fig about veterans and servicemembers. The cruelty is the point.

[Anonymous]

You’ve divorced and have full custody? Why aren’t you free to move closer to your office? How is your situation any different than anyone else with a long hours or frequently-traveling spouse?

The exemption for current military spouses is because you don’t have a lot of choice where you live and frequent PCSing makes it difficult to build a career. If the Navy says you’re living in Norfolk for three years, you’re living in Norfolk for three years, and then it’s off to Seattle.

As an ex-spouse with full custody, the Navy is telling your husband to live in Norfolk, but that doesn’t preclude you from living in DC. Alternatively, you could just find a different job closer to where you live or that allows telework, because you know you can be here in DC for the long haul.

I empathize; it sucks to have to give up a very rich benefit. But your situation is really not deserving of a special exception.

[Anonymous]

You think the current secdef cares at all about spouses who are overwhelmingly women? They just want women out of the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ve divorced and have full custody? Why aren’t you free to move closer to your office? How is your situation any different than anyone else with a long hours or frequently-traveling spouse?

The exemption for current military spouses is because you don’t have a lot of choice where you live and frequent PCSing makes it difficult to build a career. If the Navy says you’re living in Norfolk for three years, you’re living in Norfolk for three years, and then it’s off to Seattle.

As an ex-spouse with full custody, the Navy is telling your husband to live in Norfolk, but that doesn’t preclude you from living in DC. Alternatively, you could just find a different job closer to where you live or that allows telework, because you know you can be here in DC for the long haul.

I empathize; it sucks to have to give up a very rich benefit. But your situation is really not deserving of a special exception.

+1. Your situation is not any different or deserving of a special exception compared to any other parent. The current administration doesn’t care about kids and the impact on families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve divorced and have full custody? Why aren’t you free to move closer to your office? How is your situation any different than anyone else with a long hours or frequently-traveling spouse?

The exemption for current military spouses is because you don’t have a lot of choice where you live and frequent PCSing makes it difficult to build a career. If the Navy says you’re living in Norfolk for three years, you’re living in Norfolk for three years, and then it’s off to Seattle.

As an ex-spouse with full custody, the Navy is telling your husband to live in Norfolk, but that doesn’t preclude you from living in DC. Alternatively, you could just find a different job closer to where you live or that allows telework, because you know you can be here in DC for the long haul.

I empathize; it sucks to have to give up a very rich benefit. But your situation is really not deserving of a special exception.

+1. Your situation is not any different or deserving of a special exception compared to any other parent. The current administration doesn’t care about kids and the impact on families.

NP. I do think it's different, but it doesn't matter. They don't care even about military families or any others. I hope that's clear to people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To divorced spouses who are full time parents to children of military, diplomatic, and national security personnel.

Could this ever gain traction?
Because that is where I am. I have our kids FT because their dad frequently travels and/or long term overseas post and the kids can’t go with him.

RTO for me has meant spending 3.5 hours commuting every day to a location nearly 50 miles away. This has turned my kids lives upside down. I am gone from early morning until evening. We are only about a month in but already feeling a lot of pain and I am worried about summer. They are too old for camps but too young to completely be on their own. And my agency also canceled compelling reasons exceptions and my medical RA was denied.

I get that they don’t want to help a divorced spouse of military, but shouldn’t someone care about how it affects the kids?

Lots of solutions.
1) Move
2) Quit
3) Enroll kid in activities near work and take them with you.
4) hire someone to be with kids.
5) Impossible they are too old for camp or be alone. I say that as my kid is 18 and doing Camp this summer as a full time counselor getting paid. Last two years she was a CIT counselor in training and got a small stipend.
6) switch jobs to something with summers off.
7) remarry
8) have parents or inlaws stay with you this summer.
9) how is this any different than single moms, divorced moms widowed moms of non military? My friend he got divorced and spouse left for a younger person and moved out of state. She did not care about the two kids much. Does he get an exemption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve divorced and have full custody? Why aren’t you free to move closer to your office? How is your situation any different than anyone else with a long hours or frequently-traveling spouse?

The exemption for current military spouses is because you don’t have a lot of choice where you live and frequent PCSing makes it difficult to build a career. If the Navy says you’re living in Norfolk for three years, you’re living in Norfolk for three years, and then it’s off to Seattle.

As an ex-spouse with full custody, the Navy is telling your husband to live in Norfolk, but that doesn’t preclude you from living in DC. Alternatively, you could just find a different job closer to where you live or that allows telework, because you know you can be here in DC for the long haul.

I empathize; it sucks to have to give up a very rich benefit. But your situation is really not deserving of a special exception.

+1. Your situation is not any different or deserving of a special exception compared to any other parent. The current administration doesn’t care about kids and the impact on families.

NP. I do think it's different, but it doesn't matter. They don't care even about military families or any others. I hope that's clear to people.

How is it different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve divorced and have full custody? Why aren’t you free to move closer to your office? How is your situation any different than anyone else with a long hours or frequently-traveling spouse?

The exemption for current military spouses is because you don’t have a lot of choice where you live and frequent PCSing makes it difficult to build a career. If the Navy says you’re living in Norfolk for three years, you’re living in Norfolk for three years, and then it’s off to Seattle.

As an ex-spouse with full custody, the Navy is telling your husband to live in Norfolk, but that doesn’t preclude you from living in DC. Alternatively, you could just find a different job closer to where you live or that allows telework, because you know you can be here in DC for the long haul.

I empathize; it sucks to have to give up a very rich benefit. But your situation is really not deserving of a special exception.

+1. Your situation is not any different or deserving of a special exception compared to any other parent. The current administration doesn’t care about kids and the impact on families.

NP. I do think it's different, but it doesn't matter. They don't care even about military families or any others. I hope that's clear to people.

+1

People arguing about whether or not OP is sufficiently “worthy” are missing the point (and playing right into their hands by even accepting the framing of the argument).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is an active military spouse and they've denied her exeption so they're not even following policy for currently married spouses.

The don't actually give a fig about veterans and servicemembers. The cruelty is the point.

+1
Vets and servicemembers voting for Republicans are complete fools.
Please get active in educating them about their interests. The need to stop mindlessly voting for people who actively make their lives worse (or ended/killing them in the case of handling national security)

[Anonymous]

Divorced women sure are entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To divorced spouses who are full time parents to children of military, diplomatic, and national security personnel.

Could this ever gain traction?
Because that is where I am. I have our kids FT because their dad frequently travels and/or long term overseas post and the kids can’t go with him.

RTO for me has meant spending 3.5 hours commuting every day to a location nearly 50 miles away. This has turned my kids lives upside down. I am gone from early morning until evening. We are only about a month in but already feeling a lot of pain and I am worried about summer. They are too old for camps but too young to completely be on their own. And my agency also canceled compelling reasons exceptions and my medical RA was denied.

I get that they don’t want to help a divorced spouse of military, but shouldn’t someone care about how it affects the kids?

No, you divorced. Figure it out. My retired husband spends 60-90 minutes or more commuting because of rto. You are divorced. Hire help or give him custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is an active military spouse and they've denied her exeption so they're not even following policy for currently married spouses.

The don't actually give a fig about veterans and servicemembers. The cruelty is the point.

+1
Vets and servicemembers voting for Republicans are complete fools.
Please get active in educating them about their interests. The need to stop mindlessly voting for people who actively make their lives worse (or ended/killing them in the case of handling national security)

Not all voted for Trump and she’s divorced. She’s not a spouse.