Do some parents get lucky with easy kids

[Anonymous]

I have three kids who have always been relatively easy. Even as toddlers, they were fun and pleasant. Sure, they were cranky when they were sick, but they are well behaved, smart, athletic, social, no real issues.

I have some friends whose are just really difficult. My friends are involved and seem like great parents who try hard. Their kids just have very difficult personalities. One friend has a kid who she said came out screaming with colic and has been hard since she was born. I have another friend whose kids dislike everything, complain constantly and really struggle socially despite having two super social, smart and successful parents.

[Anonymous]

Yes, some people get lucky. Kids aren't all the same, nor are they necessarily Iike their parents.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and it's usually genetic. The parents you see who are well adjusted now and have difficult children, may have been just as screamy when they were kids.

[Anonymous]

Definitely. My older brother was difficult. I'm sure he has ADHD but back then, he was just a PITA. I was easy going and didn't cause any trouble because I felt sorry for my mom.

[Anonymous]

Elements of nature and nature, nature definitely tipping the scale. I think my kids are relatively easy but also I a laid back parent. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Then I see people who have relatively hard kids and they are so up tight. Which came first there? Who knows...

[Anonymous]

Yep. My oldest DS is easy. My youngest DS is definitely harder. He has ADHD, which we think is genetic.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, and they're just born that way. The hardest part is that a lot of traits in your kid that make it hard to be their parent are also traits in YOU that make it hard to cope with a difficult kid -- an anxious mom is going to have a harder time with an anxious kid, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I have one easy one and one who is exactly difficult. My sister was a challenging child and I was a super-easy, polite rule follower.

[Anonymous]

It can be both nature and nurture. I made my kid easy. As a baby she used to cry and cry, never letting up. I would hold her, reassure her, calm her, and try again. We do yoga with her. She has her miniature therapy pony.

I also took many parenting classes, practiced transcendental meditation, and worked on myself to lower my anger and increase my patience.

Over the course of a few years, she slowly went from extremely difficult to very easy. My extended family jokes we rewired her brain.

[Anonymous]

They are born with a defined personality!
Great parents can have tough kids for sure.

[Anonymous]

I'm a good sleeper and my kid was always a wonderful sleeper. I felt like I could handle anything as long as I got enough sleep. However, she ended up being an easy toddler/kid/teen too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elements of nature and nature, nature definitely tipping the scale. I think my kids are relatively easy but also I a laid back parent. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Then I see people who have relatively hard kids and they are so up tight. Which came first there? Who knows...

I'm uptight about most stuff, though weirdly not my kids after the age of about two. Uptight about sleep schedules though. I have easy kids.

[Anonymous]

Some nature and some nurture.

[Anonymous]

I definitely think so. I have 3 kids and I’d say 1 is easy, 1 is average, 1 is difficult. They are teens now and the difficult one has gotten a lot easier. The average one has gotten a little more difficult. The easy kid remains easy.

Which is a strange way to talk about my own kids but that has been my experience. I do think there is a fair amount of luck involved.

Also traits that make a kid “difficult” can sometimes be good in an adult, and traits that make a kid “easy” can end up being a negative as an adult. IMO.

[Anonymous]

Yes but most parents of easy children think it’s just due to lax parenting.