Steering child to a high-paying career?

[Anonymous]

Have you had a conversation with your DC about what careers pay?

My oldest is headed to college and went to a private high school on aid. Many classmates are going to study finance or law because that is what their parents do. My DC has no idea what the path is to make money but he wants the lifestyle that he's seen around him at school (and didn't have). He's a smart kid and is going to a top10 college. We've never talked to him or our other kids about Wall Street, finance, consulting, top law firms or anything of that sort. It makes me cringe to think about saying "hey, if you're serious about wanting a nice home and XYZ, you should probably consider this major vs that major (because btw--you're not coming into any money or significant inheritance from us)." I assume he can figure it out while registering for classes and during the course of his first few years of college but he has had no exposure to these careers in our family and no real idea what these people do. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I think you are doing the right thing to consider this. I see this as a potential pitfall for low income students headed to top colleges, not understanding that choice of major/career can dramatically affect potential income level. In addition, note that many high income careers involve grad school, which might not have the same type of widely available financial aid as a low income student might get for undergrad.

I would approach this from both ends, first starting with what his interests might be, on the front end, and then looking at what sorts of careers can result on the back end. I suggest that he stay flexible, as interests often change during college and afterward.

[Anonymous]

I have discussed this with my kids. They need to look up job prospects + avg starting salaries.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, if he is smart enough to go to a T10 college, then he is smart enough to figure this out on his own. I would back off and let him.

[Anonymous]

Does he have friends whose parents are in these careers? Or do you have friends in these careers?

If so, he could reach out to them, explain he is exploring career paths and figuring out what to study in college, and ask if they could chat with them about their careers and general advice. Don't hit them up for jobs. Just ask for the time to chat with them about their paths, paths as they are now, what to study, etc.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's cringe. I think it's a fair thing for a parent to point out to a kid who has these options.

Here's what we're doing: we have a higher HHI (though some on DCUM would scoff because it's south of 500K) and live in a 1m house, can afford to full pay college, and we can take vacations and have nice things within reason, not without some stress or budgeting.

We talk to our kid about what things cost and what is within reach and what isn't.

They know we struggled when we were younger (but kid doesn't remember) and they know we do well (but we are not rich like many kids at their school are). I don't really sit down and steer him to finance (though that's his inclination) but I do say things like "Hey, you know when Fido was a the vet last week? That cost $2,500. Everyone should be so lucky as to afford that, but it's not easy at all for everyone to afford. You should think about things like this when considering a path, considering pet ownership, where you live, etc...." We do the same for vacations, including what they cost, where we CAN'T go right now, etc...

We also remind him often that dumb ass stuff like day trading or risking it all on one meme stock is not on the table as a viable option, and we can not and will not bail that crap out. So many kids think these these days.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with talking about what type of lifestyle he wants to live and how he support that. Ideally, he will find a career he loves that allows him to live comfortably and happily. That’s hard to find though. He may have to compromise and explore careers that may not provide everything he wants but pay well.

Careers that pay well include Medicines, Investment Banking/Hedge Funds/Private Equity, Consulting, Law, and Tech. However, for most of these, you have to be in the top quartile of the firms, and inside the firms, you have to be in top quartile of employees. For example in Consulting or Law, you have to be a Partner at a top firm to make $2M-$4M+ a year.

[Anonymous]

Damn you are lucky. Mine was never interested in practicing law—determining it’s not for her. Often they choose a different path.

[Anonymous]

I want my kids to like what they do and leave the world a better place. Honestly. I think it's fine to help them realize there are financial tradeoffs to certain career choices, but it's also important for them to realize there are life tradeoffs to other career choices. The money people make in some of these careers is compensation for the fact that they suck in every other way.

[Anonymous]

Discuss as much as you can with him. Ignorance can cut opportunity. I should have clerked after law school, but didn’t understand what a big thing it is, so didn’t apply.

Don’t push. But inform to the extent you can.

[Anonymous]

We have talked about it but it's difficult because neither are drawn toward money-making careers. They also see how some of these careers are incredibly stressful and can have poor quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have talked about it but it's difficult because neither are drawn toward money-making careers. They also see how some of these careers are incredibly stressful and can have poor quality of life.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, if he is smart enough to go to a T10 college, then he is smart enough to figure this out on his own. I would back off and let him.

I had to figure everything on my own because my parents did not come from the same backgrounds. I would have loved and welcomed more help along the way. For example, I would have skipped engineering and studied economics saving myself two years in undergraduate. I would have worked for a firm that paid for my MBA. I would have targeted a more prestigious firm after grad school and made Partners 5 years earlier. Lots of opportunities costs lost because I had to do it trial by fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have talked about it but it's difficult because neither are drawn toward money-making careers. They also see how some of these careers are incredibly stressful and can have poor quality of life.

This!

Being poor and underpaid is also incredibly stressful and definitely results in poor quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have talked about it but it's difficult because neither are drawn toward money-making careers. They also see how some of these careers are incredibly stressful and can have poor quality of life.

This!

Being poor and underpaid is also incredibly stressful and definitely results in poor quality of life.

There is a middle ground.

I have seen a lot during my career. Some died of heart attack in a client meeting. Other overdosed while divorced.