Is it unsportsmanlike/rude for parents to only attend games -

[Anonymous]

that they know their kid will be playing in?

My kid is a HS junior. We've attended every single game my kid has ever played since freshman year, whether he gets playing time or not, to support the team. And there is a coterie of parents who show up every time as well - I think most are boosters or graduates of this high school. (We are not.)

My kid is a junior this year and I'm so over it now. This year has been the worst. He has played in 2 of 6 games so far. Ironically, the game he played as starter (and not switching out with the other senior kid at his position, who is usually the starter) was against the most difficult highest-ranked team that they have faced, and is the only game that they won. Not saying they won because of my kid, but clearly he is not a drag on the team. After winning that game, my kid hasn't played at all - is riding the bench, not even switching out with the other kid.

Would you feel obligated to attend games where your kid has been told ahead of time he's not playing. I don't want to appear to be in "sour grapes" mode and want to support the team, but also don't want to waste time sitting around watching my kid ride the bench while the team is also getting mostly slaughtered.

[Anonymous]

Who exactly do you think is tracking your attendance? Why would anyone care?

[Anonymous]

You should only care about what your kid wants and even that, mildly. I didn't need my parents to watch my games. One per season was plenty.

[Anonymous]

I agree no one is tracking your attendance but IMHO, the games where my DC doesn't play are where I am most needed as a supporter. I can't explain the reasons other than they like knowing what I observed and agreeing with how stupid it is that they were on the bench or pointing out plays they need to improve on to see time on the field/court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly do you think is tracking your attendance? Why would anyone care?

It's a small group of parents who attend every game - we have historically been one of them - regardless of our kid's playing time. Three years now. Pretty sure other parents (and maybe coach) would notice if we stopped attending games that our kid doesn't play in.

Why would anyone care? I don't know, that's why I asked the question. But it may appear as sour groups (and it kind of is tbh) or not being supportive of the team as a whole.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable to feel it is an unspoken etiquette but really don't worry that anyone will note it. You and kid have the time off, enjoy it, there is zero obligation unless you have a strong desire for seeing the game even if your kids out. Don't judge the other side and they won't judge you.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to be there unless your child needs you there. Ask him if he wants you there or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree no one is tracking your attendance but IMHO, the games where my DC doesn't play are where I am most needed as a supporter. I can't explain the reasons other than they like knowing what I observed and agreeing with how stupid it is that they were on the bench or pointing out plays they need to improve on to see time on the field/court.

This is a good point. Maybe we will just send DH as he is much better at analyzing technical aspects of the game than I am.

Also, guess we should just ask our kid what he wants. He's clearly down/discouraged about the lack of playing time, and we don't want to put a spotlight on it by changing our behavior, which may sort of amplify that playing time is more important than school spirit.

[Anonymous]

If my kid wasn’t getting playing time she wouldn’t be at the game. This benching kids business is nonsense.
Now if she’s injured or something that’s different, she can be supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's understandable to feel it is an unspoken etiquette but really don't worry that anyone will note it. You and kid have the time off, enjoy it, there is zero obligation unless you have a strong desire for seeing the game even if your kids out. Don't judge the other side and they won't judge you.

Thanks, that's great advice. There's a big game tonight (arch rival sort of thing) and he has pretty much accepted he won't be playing. They are going to get slammed tonight for sure. I'll just ask him what he wants us to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree no one is tracking your attendance but IMHO, the games where my DC doesn't play are where I am most needed as a supporter. I can't explain the reasons other than they like knowing what I observed and agreeing with how stupid it is that they were on the bench or pointing out plays they need to improve on to see time on the field/court.

This is a good point. Maybe we will just send DH as he is much better at analyzing technical aspects of the game than I am.

Also, guess we should just ask our kid what he wants. He's clearly down/discouraged about the lack of playing time, and we don't want to put a spotlight on it by changing our behavior, which may sort of amplify that playing time is more important than school spirit.

It sounds like he may be as concerned about your feelings as you are with his. Maybe he doesn't want you just watching him sit and feeling like a failure. Though best bet is he doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid wasn’t getting playing time she wouldn’t be at the game. This benching kids business is nonsense.
Now if she’s injured or something that’s different, she can be supportive.

Well, that's not how it works at his school - isn't that how it works everywhere? You attend the game even if you are riding the bench. He is the backup for the senior/starter and needs to be there in case of injury.

[Anonymous]

Not at all.

At this age you are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly do you think is tracking your attendance? Why would anyone care?

It's a small group of parents who attend every game - we have historically been one of them - regardless of our kid's playing time. Three years now. Pretty sure other parents (and maybe coach) would notice if we stopped attending games that our kid doesn't play in.

Why would anyone care? I don't know, that's why I asked the question. But it may appear as sour groups (and it kind of is tbh) or not being supportive of the team as a whole.

In high school, it really doesn’t matter what the other parents think anymore. And the coach certainly won’t GAF. If it was a youth travel team or something- different story.

Maybe just send one parent to each game.

If he gets in and you miss it, you can probably see the GC video feed anyway, right? (because this sounds like baseball)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid wasn’t getting playing time she wouldn’t be at the game. This benching kids business is nonsense.
Now if she’s injured or something that’s different, she can be supportive.

In high school?! For real?? Of course there will be kids who don’t play. They still have to attend games if they are on the team.

Parents don’t need to attend though, of course.