Is it unsportsmanlike/rude for parents to only attend games -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly do you think is tracking your attendance? Why would anyone care?

It's a small group of parents who attend every game - we have historically been one of them - regardless of our kid's playing time. Three years now. Pretty sure other parents (and maybe coach) would notice if we stopped attending games that our kid doesn't play in.

Why would anyone care? I don't know, that's why I asked the question. But it may appear as sour groups (and it kind of is tbh) or not being supportive of the team as a whole.

OP, I completely get it. I'm the parent of a junior as well. No one will view this as sour grapes. You do what you can do, especially at this stage. We're all busy. You will be missed, but because people enjoy seeing you. No one will say you're not being supportive of the team as a whole.

[Anonymous]

How would you know he isn’t getting play time unless you are there to watch? I really don’t understand your reasoning.

No one cares if you attend the games, and the coach doesn’t seem to put your kid in the game if you are a “booster.” I don’t think this “refusing” to watch the game is going to broadcast the message you think it will. People aren’t really paying the attention to you that you think they are.

I think you have a bit of main character syndrome. Probably an anxiety disorder as well.

[Anonymous]

Not unsportsmanlike at all.

I have multiple kids and a lot of demands on my time. If I know my kid won't be playing, that's time away from other things.

But I am not an "every game" or "every performance" parent. I think by high school you participate inal activities because you enjoy them, your parents don't need to be there for every event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not unsportsmanlike at all.

I have multiple kids and a lot of demands on my time. If I know my kid won't be playing, that's time away from other things.

But I am not an "every game" or "every performance" parent. I think by high school you participate inal activities because you enjoy them, your parents don't need to be there for every event.

+1

We have multiple kids and almost never have 2 parents at any game or event. Sometimes not even one. It is totally fine.

[Anonymous]

You are thinking far more about this than 99% of parents. We don’t attend every game even before HS. DH and I switch off, because we have multiple kids and it’s impossible for us both to be at everything.

HS games were the hardest because they were early and often conflicted with work. Sometimes neither of us could go. That one season where DS barely got playing time, I didn’t feel bad at all when I missed games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:that they know their kid will be playing in?

My kid is a HS junior. We've attended every single game my kid has ever played since freshman year, whether he gets playing time or not, to support the team. And there is a coterie of parents who show up every time as well - I think most are boosters or graduates of this high school. (We are not.)

My kid is a junior this year and I'm so over it now. This year has been the worst. He has played in 2 of 6 games so far. Ironically, the game he played as starter (and not switching out with the other senior kid at his position, who is usually the starter) was against the most difficult highest-ranked team that they have faced, and is the only game that they won. Not saying they won because of my kid, but clearly he is not a drag on the team. After winning that game, my kid hasn't played at all - is riding the bench, not even switching out with the other kid.

Would you feel obligated to attend games where your kid has been told ahead of time he's not playing. I don't want to appear to be in "sour grapes" mode and want to support the team, but also don't want to waste time sitting around watching my kid ride the bench while the team is also getting mostly slaughtered.

A coterie, huh?

[Anonymous]

For high school, go if you can go and skip it if you cannot (or don't want to). This is even more true once your child starts driving and doesn't need you there for a ride home!

Parents skip games for a whole variety of reasons --- other kids need rides, parent has work or another commitment, parent is out of town.

As someone who often attends games that are easy to get to, I am pleased to see other parents in the stands. But I really don't think twice if they're not there. And you've better believe that my kid will ride the bus there and back for the away games that are really far away and involve a ton of traffic at rush hour!

[Anonymous]

to support the team

Is your team not well supported. There are always tons of students and adults in the stands/watching the school team. A few less would not be noticed. Might be noticed by the kids, if they are playing, but that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly do you think is tracking your attendance? Why would anyone care?

It's a small group of parents who attend every game - we have historically been one of them - regardless of our kid's playing time. Three years now. Pretty sure other parents (and maybe coach) would notice if we stopped attending games that our kid doesn't play in.

Why would anyone care? I don't know, that's why I asked the question. But it may appear as sour groups (and it kind of is tbh) or not being supportive of the team as a whole.

OP, I completely get it. I'm the parent of a junior as well. No one will view this as sour grapes. You do what you can do, especially at this stage. We're all busy. You will be missed, but because people enjoy seeing you. No one will say you're not being supportive of the team as a whole.

This is put beautifully.

[Anonymous]

My DS plays baseball, and I don't go the extra mile to get myself to a game unless he's pitching. I don't care what anyone thinks about that.

[Anonymous]

For me, it was a decision about what my kid wants/needs. My DD never played (soccer) her junior year except in a blowout situation, and it was a frustrating and difficult experience. She would have never told me she expected me to be at all the games, but I know my kid and felt that she needed to feel supported, even if she couldn’t express it. So I sat there and quietly suffered along with her. She started senior year, much more fun!

[Anonymous]

Yup. DC never plays. Like, hasn't seen a single minute. Kid gets it and has no problem if we don't come to games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid wasn’t getting playing time she wouldn’t be at the game. This benching kids business is nonsense.
Now if she’s injured or something that’s different, she can be supportive.

This isn’t rec soccer. Once kids get to a certain age/level the best kids play period. I’d be pretty mad if my kid was taken off the field so that a player who isn’t as good got minutes with the exception of when we are winning by a lot.

[Anonymous]

I stopped going to games because I got too angry over playing time. I know, I get it. My kid is okay with it, too. But watching him not play was bringing out anger issues I didn't think I had, so I stopped going to games.

[Anonymous]

I could have written the same thing except my son is a freshman and started the year playing. None of us can figure out what happened. He wasn’t hitting great, but his fielding was fine. He laced a double in his last at bat before be benched for two weeks. His return was in the last inning of a blowout. The team isn’t very strong, but had a winning record two weeks ago. They lost all the games in the two weeks he didn’t play. The kids that replaced him were also underclassman, hit about the same and fielded worse. This is one of the few times I haven’t enjoyed going to see his teams play and he’s seen some limited playing time on some travel teams.

At least one of us has gone to each home game to show support, but skipped the away games. It’s been brutal to watch and irritating to miss his younger siblings’ games where they actually play. I’ve stayed away from the other parents, but I don’t really know any of them so it’s been easy to do.