Timeline to divorce?

[Anonymous]

From time of filing to signed agreements to decree, how long did it take you? How long were you married?

[Anonymous]

I think your timeline is off. In my case, it would begin with moving out/separating that took place years before we actually filed anything. From filing to final order by court was probably about two years. We had children and property/assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your timeline is off. In my case, it would begin with moving out/separating that took place years before we actually filed anything. From filing to final order by court was probably about two years. We had children and property/assets.

I think we can tell just by your response why you aren’t married! Someone asks a question you answer it (or don’t); don’t tell them how you would have asked it differently. If OP wanted to ask when the separation began she would have.

[Anonymous]

From separation to me filing: a year and a half (should’ve filed immediately, I’ve made a lot of dumb mistakes).

Filing to divorce: it’s been one year and 9 months. We have both moved onto new partners but this thing is dragging on.

[Anonymous]

Hi 13:30, what were the mistakes about not filing immediately?

Since you were already separated 18 months, what's been taking almost 2 years?

Do divorces drag out when there are no settlements? I've been talking to a couple friends about what to expect and most seem to have some sort of settlement even before separation/moving out. Is that not common?

[Anonymous]

Since our children were over age 18, it took 6 months.

[Anonymous]

He left and filed 3 months later.
It's been 14 months and we're not done- probably another 5 months.
It's excrutiating. It's contentious. He's a greedy b***ard.
If you have no kids to fight over, and no assets to divide, it could be much easier, but not me where he is already a deadbeat dad.

[Anonymous]

Separation to start of mediation — 1 year
Mediation to filing — 6 months (he was mentally ill and so that was the fastest it could go)
Filing to decree — 2 months

[Anonymous]

I wonder how it works if we got married in our home country and want to divorce. Should we just travel back to the home country and divorce there (promptly) and bring a divorce certificate here? Assuming we agree on the asset allocations ourselves, and our children are adults. Are there any benefits in filing for divorce here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi 13:30, what were the mistakes about not filing immediately?

Since you were already separated 18 months, what's been taking almost 2 years?

Do divorces drag out when there are no settlements? I've been talking to a couple friends about what to expect and most seem to have some sort of settlement even before separation/moving out. Is that not common?

My XH is financially and emotionally abusive. Originally he wanted an amicable separation and I believed him (I was still deeply entrenched in his narcissism even though I saw enough light to leave). Over a series of moves he outmaneuvered me until a trusted friend implored me to file. Since then he has used divorce abuse to drag things out, file excessively, refuse to settle except on his terms, mediation failed, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm curious about this too. We just signed our PSA this week, so we should have everything straight. But my lawyer said that it will still take 2-3 months after they file it (which can't be until September), and sometimes the judge will ask them to change something first. This is in VA.

And I'll just add, since this is an anonymous forum, that I got my STBX to agree that I can cohabitate and still receive lifetime alimony. My lawyer didn't even want to ask, she thought it was such a long shot. But I gave a really good speech at the table and he agreed. He feels guilty for his infidelities.

[Anonymous]

2 months. We were amicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how it works if we got married in our home country and want to divorce. Should we just travel back to the home country and divorce there (promptly) and bring a divorce certificate here? Assuming we agree on the asset allocations ourselves, and our children are adults. Are there any benefits in filing for divorce here?

If there are no minor children and you both agree on the division of assets, you can get divorced fairly quickly and easily here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about this too. We just signed our PSA this week, so we should have everything straight. But my lawyer said that it will still take 2-3 months after they file it (which can't be until September), and sometimes the judge will ask them to change something first. This is in VA.

And I'll just add, since this is an anonymous forum, that I got my STBX to agree that I can cohabitate and still receive lifetime alimony. My lawyer didn't even want to ask, she thought it was such a long shot. But I gave a really good speech at the table and he agreed. He feels guilty for his infidelities.

My ex had already been cohabitating for a couple years when we were hammering out our settlement, so he agreed I could cohabitate for up to two years without impact on alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how it works if we got married in our home country and want to divorce. Should we just travel back to the home country and divorce there (promptly) and bring a divorce certificate here? Assuming we agree on the asset allocations ourselves, and our children are adults. Are there any benefits in filing for divorce here?

If there are no minor children and you both agree on the division of assets, you can get divorced fairly quickly and easily here.

This is good to know. Do they have any information about our marriage though? For example, if I show up in court with another man wanting to marry him, will the court know that I’m already married, if my marriage certificate is from another country?