Blocking grandma from phone?

[Anonymous]

We recently had to cut off my mom from 1:1 visits with our kids after some attempts at triangulation and parental alienation. She no longer sees them without myself or DH present. We also blocked her from our oldest child’s phone. She (my mom) just realized that she’s also blocked by phone and did not take it well at all. She’s complaining that she has no way to have a relationship with our kids, which isn’t true, she just can’t have the one she wants where she tries to manipulate them into being her flying monkeys. Her worst “indiscretion”, if you can even call it that, on the phone in the past has been texts saying things like, “Haven’t seen you in a long time and miss you!” and we monitor DD phone so we see everything anyway, unlike 1:1 visits. Are we also doing the right thing taking away her ability to contact our oldest (15) by phone?

[Anonymous]

I was with you until the part where the grandma texting that she misses her grandchild is considered bad behavior.

Ummm

Are you okay, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was with you until the part where the grandma texting that she misses her grandchild is considered bad behavior.

Ummm

Are you okay, OP?

Part of the manipulation and triangulation was my mom guilt tripping the children and telling them things like your mom hates me (I don’t) and that I am keeping them from her (while they are with her) and they need to tell me they want to see her. None of this is true. She was seeing them with frequency until I realized what was happening. There’s other things and a long history of unsavory things she’s been telling them that I only recently uncovered, and I believe she is grooming them to hate me. It’s too much to get into here. You’re just going to have to trust me, or not, in which case I understand if you don’t want to continue posting.

[Anonymous]

You drew your line in the sand, so now stick to it. You don’t need to crowdsource this here on DCUM. Stay consistent with your boundaries. You don’t need anyone’s approval here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was with you until the part where the grandma texting that she misses her grandchild is considered bad behavior.

Ummm

Are you okay, OP?

I assume she worries it will escalate over text.

[Anonymous]

Put in a land line career phone in your kitchen and tell her she can contact them the old fashioned way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put in a land line career phone in your kitchen and tell her she can contact them the old fashioned way.

But only on speaker phone, so she can’t say things to the kids without the parents hearing, otherwise it defeats the purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s complaining that she has no way to have a relationship with our kids, which isn’t true, she just can’t have the one she wants where she tries to manipulate them into being her flying monkeys. Her worst “indiscretion”, if you can even call it that, on the phone in the past has been texts saying things like, “Haven’t seen you in a long time and miss you!” and we monitor DD phone so we see everything anyway, unlike 1:1 visits. Are we also doing the right thing taking away her ability to contact our oldest (15) by phone?

Oh my, the horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with you until the part where the grandma texting that she misses her grandchild is considered bad behavior.

Ummm

Are you okay, OP?

Part of the manipulation and triangulation was my mom guilt tripping the children and telling them things like your mom hates me (I don’t) and that I am keeping them from her (while they are with her) and they need to tell me they want to see her. None of this is true. She was seeing them with frequency until I realized what was happening. There’s other things and a long history of unsavory things she’s been telling them that I only recently uncovered, and I believe she is grooming them to hate me. It’s too much to get into here. You’re just going to have to trust me, or not, in which case I understand if you don’t want to continue posting.

Ummmm, you are. You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

You’re an absolute nutter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put in a land line career phone in your kitchen and tell her she can contact them the old fashioned way.

This is the answer. My friend did this when her dd was younger and ex-husband was blowing up her phone all the time to talk to kid. She set up a dedicated landline that he could use to call kid and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

You are the problem , Op. Your kids will figure this out one day and cut you off.

[Anonymous]

You read every text your 15 yo receives? Isn’t that an issue with their friends at this age? It sounds like there are a lot of issues going on here besides Grandma. 15 is old for that level of monitoring.

[Anonymous]

Stand firm. Grandma blew up the chance for a relationship with her grandkids a long time ago. Allowing her to resume using and manipulating them to get back at you and your husband is only harming the kids. Keep them out of her line of fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put in a land line career phone in your kitchen and tell her she can contact them the old fashioned way.

This is the way.

If your parents are truly that manipulative, your kids will keep the communication short but this is their relationship not yours. Don’t micromanage.