coffee with an ex

[Anonymous]

I got coffee with an ex from about six months ago - he reached out and asked if I wanted to. It was very nice but didn't go anywhere. He was a wonderful boyfriend but I ended it because I told him I didn't have feelings for him. I'm so confused why he wnated to get coffee.

[Anonymous]

Okay? How are we supposed to know his reasons. You should have asked him.why did you agree to meet?

[Anonymous]

This was SIX MONTHS ago? WTH?

[Anonymous]

He's trynna get it in lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got coffee with an ex from about six months ago - he reached out and asked if I wanted to. It was very nice but didn't go anywhere. He was a wonderful boyfriend but I ended it because I told him I didn't have feelings for him. I'm so confused why he wnated to get coffee.

This is a common juvenile way of forming relationships. Indicative of a string of failed relationships. Similar to "the ick" that many women talk about now, or "the chemistry".

Feelings come with sharing things and spending time with someone. The more time you spend with them, and the longer you are together, the more you will develop feelings for them. Nothing magical or difficult about it.

If they are "instant" feelings of "attraction", "chemistry", etc. then it is usually shallow and those relationships will fade faster. I dare say 60%+ of men and women are in this category, which is why divorce rates are so high.

[Anonymous]

I get coffee with ex GFs and even ex wife pretty often. I don't think that's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get coffee with ex GFs and even ex wife pretty often. I don't think that's weird.

Tbh that’s weird, unless you’re all in the same industry or something.

[Anonymous]

He wanted to have coffee with you because he DOES have feelings for you.

If there is no hope of you two getting back together, don't meet again.

[Anonymous]

I see your coffee and raise you an ex from many years past getting on a plane to see me in a play and have dinner after and getting back on a plane right after to go home to his wife and two daughters. I thought it was bizarre and felt pretty confused by it but also curious. My DH didn't care, lol -- thank heavens he's reasonable. He knows he has nothing to worry about.

I did ask him why on earth he bothered, and he said he just wanted to see me onstage. It wasn't a particularly good show, which is a bit embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got coffee with an ex from about six months ago - he reached out and asked if I wanted to. It was very nice but didn't go anywhere. He was a wonderful boyfriend but I ended it because I told him I didn't have feelings for him. I'm so confused why he wnated to get coffee.

Doesn’t matter. What matters is you move in with your life and goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He wanted to have coffee with you because he DOES have feelings for you.

If there is no hope of you two getting back together, don't meet again.

This. Don’t lead him on.

Don’t be wishy washy either.

He likely wanted to see you again to gauge if here was any spark left and to compare you to who currently seeing. Then he will proceed accordingly.

Sounds like you acted neutral so he’ll go with the other woman.

[Anonymous]

He's gauging the interest in a FWB type relationship.

[Anonymous]

stay away from exs for everyone's sake.

[Anonymous]

Six months is way too soon to be doing that. And I like all my exes and would be happy to see them. Six months is just asking for someone to be hurt.