WWYD: dad doesn’t want to take meds, I have no opinion but all communication goes through me

[Anonymous]

Dad is an immigrant and barely speaks English so I am in charge of all his communications with his dr.
Long story short dad eats healthy and takes long walks, isn’t overweight etc, but does get some bouts of high blood pressure and his cholesterol is a bit elevated. He was prescribed sone meds for it but is resistant towards taking them.
To be honest I don’t really care what he does and I have no strong opinion on whether he needs them, I just don’t want to be in the middle of it. He is now asking if I can ask if he can take half the dose of the statins he was prescribed etc, I don’t know what he wants to do with his HBP meds yet, but I am already super annoyed by all this wiffle waffling.

what should i do? he was told to start taking meds and follow up with the dr in a month. i am super busy at work until April. i am tempted to just tell him not to take the meds yet, and send him to his next appointment with an interpreter and let him figure it out instead of me being there.

[Anonymous]

Okay!

[Anonymous]

Tell him to take the meds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to take the meds

Pretty sure he will “observe side effects” and I won’t hear the end of it. Just don’t have the energy to deal with it anymore

[Anonymous]

What language does he speak? Is it a pretty common one?

Can you hire an interpreter to help him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What language does he speak? Is it a pretty common one?

Can you hire an interpreter to help him?

Yes, it’s pretty common. I’ve actually told him that he is going to the next PCP appt by himself with an interpreter and he can relay his concerns directly to the PCP. The fact that he isn’t taking the pills as well.
He has to take a little bit of responsibility for his ideas.
He may cancel the appointment though.

[Anonymous]

You need to grow a pair and be a better daughter.

[Anonymous]

Unless your life is extraordinarily burdened, OP, this is part of being a decent child to your parent. Why can't you be the go-between? You're lucky he's so healthy and his needs are not complicated.

[Anonymous]

You're pretty selfish, OP. Hate to break it to you but this kind of thing is par for the course when it comes to being a good child to aging parents.

I spent four years doing things like using a Hoyer lift to transfer my father from his hospital bed to his shower wheelchair for a shower and then to a different wheelchair fro daytime use and then to bed for a nap and then back to his wheelchair. And you're whining about helping a declining aging parent with medical care?

What are his cholesterol numbers and BP?

If you want to send him with an interpreter that's fine but I always wanted to hear what the doctor was saying so I could help my parents.

[Anonymous]

You seem unusually cold. He is old, doesn't understand what's going on around him because of the language barrier, and it's scary. If he's asking if he can take just half, is it possible he's worried about costs of medication?

[Anonymous]

He's on the path to a future cardiac surgery with high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Diet and exercise won't change much.

[Anonymous]

I have high cholesterol where I was prescribed 5 mg of rosuvastatin. So the lowest dose they make. I then took half a pill a day so 2.5 mg and that lowered my cholesterol into normal range. I switched to one pill every second day as no need to cut them in half.

So zero side effects and normal cholesterol levels. I don't see any problem with letting him try a small dose and see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

He needs to take them, because he already does all the “lifestyle changes” fixes.

I don’t see what the big deal is about going with him. What else are you going to talk about with him?

[Anonymous]

I think your plan is good. He needs to figure this stuff out on his own. You aren't his babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're pretty selfish, OP. Hate to break it to you but this kind of thing is par for the course when it comes to being a good child to aging parents.

I spent four years doing things like using a Hoyer lift to transfer my father from his hospital bed to his shower wheelchair for a shower and then to a different wheelchair fro daytime use and then to bed for a nap and then back to his wheelchair. And you're whining about helping a declining aging parent with medical care?

What are his cholesterol numbers and BP?

If you want to send him with an interpreter that's fine but I always wanted to hear what the doctor was saying so I could help my parents.

And all that work your did was YOUR CHOICE. No one is ever going to declare you a saint. OP can do whatever they want regarding their father. Frankly, their father is lucky that OP cares enough to consider the options.