Nannie’s brother was arrested for statutory rape

[Anonymous]

Of several minors (between the age of 12-16) he met through Snapchat.

Nanny came in incredibly upset. He’s been arrested and the parents are not bailing him out. They’re all devastated.

My concern is my nanny lives at home with the parents and did live with the brother.

I am second guessing keeping her on with our family. If she had her own place I wouldn’t be as worried. But if brother does get out they could be in contact.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately we were in a similar situation. Our nanny's husband was arresting for something along these lines, years ago....

Ultimately we felt like we knew her well enough and did not make any changes to her employment. We did put extra rules into place- she had to mostly stay in our house/neighborhood with our kids, no taking them to her house, no exposure to her husband.

Over time, she stood by her husband's side, which made us second guess things. And we kind of hit a natural point for ending employment anyway, so we took that as an out.

I'd suggest a similar approach. Especially since your nanny and the family seem to be taking this seriously.

[Anonymous]

Do your children ever go to her house? I'm not sure what the real concern is here.

[Anonymous]

I understand the situation is upsetting, but I really don’t see a way that your children are affected, let alone are in any danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand the situation is upsetting, but I really don’t see a way that your children are affected, let alone are in any danger.

I agree. I would never punish a nanny for something her brother did. That would be crazy.

[Anonymous]

If she disclosed it and your children don’t have any contact with him, I wouldn’t want to end the employment personally. Set ground rules for no contact with the children.

It’s really upsetting though, I get it. But it’s tempting to overreact to a threat we can identify.

[Anonymous]

I had a nanny who had an abusive x who would weirdly do drive-by stalker thing, including greeting me when I got home (from his car, parked on my street). I let her go nicely (paid out about 2months in cash). After she left him, I re-hired her as a babysitter and helped her find another full time job.

How do we know brother won't pick her up from work...early. Also, how do we know she wasn't his victim. There's an entire advocacy group about child victims of other children. (often girl on girl crimes).

I'm not trying to add fire to your flame but if your gut is telling you to protect your children "protect the gift".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your children ever go to her house? I'm not sure what the real concern is here.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how any of this would potentially affect your family? Also, it's nanny's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your children ever go to her house? I'm not sure what the real concern is here.

Nope never.

They’ve never met the brother thank god. Kids are always at our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do your children ever go to her house? I'm not sure what the real concern is here.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do your children ever go to her house? I'm not sure what the real concern is here.

Nope never.

They’ve never met the brother thank god. Kids are always at our house.

So, what is your concern? The family is not bailing him out--obviously they are not defending him or minimalizing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a nanny who had an abusive x who would weirdly do drive-by stalker thing, including greeting me when I got home (from his car, parked on my street). I let her go nicely (paid out about 2months in cash). After she left him, I re-hired her as a babysitter and helped her find another full time job.

How do we know brother won't pick her up from work...early. Also, how do we know she wasn't his victim. There's an entire advocacy group about child victims of other children. (often girl on girl crimes).

I'm not trying to add fire to your flame but if your gut is telling you to protect your children "protect the gift".

Wait.
So if nanny is a victim that’s more reason to fire her???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a nanny who had an abusive x who would weirdly do drive-by stalker thing, including greeting me when I got home (from his car, parked on my street). I let her go nicely (paid out about 2months in cash). After she left him, I re-hired her as a babysitter and helped her find another full time job.

How do we know brother won't pick her up from work...early. Also, how do we know she wasn't his victim. There's an entire advocacy group about child victims of other children. (often girl on girl crimes).

I'm not trying to add fire to your flame but if your gut is telling you to protect your children "protect the gift".

Do you ask every teacher your child has if they’ve been molested? Every babysitter? The parents of their peers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of several minors (between the age of 12-16) he met through Snapchat.

Nanny came in incredibly upset. He’s been arrested and the parents are not bailing him out. They’re all devastated.

My concern is my nanny lives at home with the parents and did live with the brother.

I am second guessing keeping her on with our family. If she had her own place I wouldn’t be as worried. But if brother does get out they could be in contact.

Pay your nanny enough to afford her own place. Poorly paid nannies are dependent on partners or family to make ends meets.