Do boys not ask girls out as much?

[Anonymous]

I have a dd who is 17 and she is a great kid. She is very pretty, she is in several clubs, sports...and she has never been asked to a dance. She is debating not going to prom because she won't have a date (she's always gone to dances with a group of friends before). So do boys not ask girls out unless they are already dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a dd who is 17 and she is a great kid. She is very pretty, she is in several clubs, sports...and she has never been asked to a dance. She is debating not going to prom because she won't have a date (she's always gone to dances with a group of friends before). So do boys not ask girls out unless they are already dating?

I'm noticing that boys (and more girls) don't seem to care about dances. It's becoming quite common to see a group getting dressed up for the dance, going to DC to take pictures, ditching the dance, and going to a house party instead. And yes, boys aren't going to ask a girl to a dance unless they're already dating or talking.

[Anonymous]

They definitely do not. My daughter also did not have a date to prom but went anyway with a large group of friends, many of which did have dates but it was all casual and no one cared that she did not have one.

Especially with the whole stupid promposal thing—I don’t blame guys for not asking anyone out. It has now devolved down to even homecoming — my son has a girlfriend and had to do a whole hocoposal. She’s very low key and I think probably would not have cared but he felt that the social expectations are such that not doing a stupid public invite was a bad boyfriend thing on the level of forgetting her birthday. The social pressures on kids are ridiculous so it doesn’t surprise me at all that lots of kids are opting out entirely from the date/invite thing.

This is at a big public school. Not sure if private schools or single sex schools have a different vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a dd who is 17 and she is a great kid. She is very pretty, she is in several clubs, sports...and she has never been asked to a dance. She is debating not going to prom because she won't have a date (she's always gone to dances with a group of friends before). So do boys not ask girls out unless they are already dating?

I'm noticing that boys (and more girls) don't seem to care about dances. It's becoming quite common to see a group getting dressed up for the dance, going to DC to take pictures, ditching the dance, and going to a house party instead. And yes, boys aren't going to ask a girl to a dance unless they're already dating or talking.

Yes it’s also true that no one stays long at the dances. Mostly because they are miserable. Music nowadays is not fun dance music like we had in the 80s, the public schools are so crowded it’s like sardines, the DJS play everything so loud that no one can talk or have fun. People are worried about being recorded and posted online for bad dancing. Every teen ive talked to actually hates school dances. It’s sad because I think they have fun dancing at things like bar mitzvahs or family weddings where the vibe is different and music is more fun.

[Anonymous]

People don't have to have dates to go to prom anymore.

My son did not have a gf and didn't want to ask anybody. He planned to attend along with a friend who was also going stag. Both were barely enthusiastic about going.

An enterprising young junior lady who wanted to go asked him if she could go as his date if she bought her own ticket and he agreed. Our prom is limited to seniors and dates.

I enjoyed helping him spec out a suit and a wrist corsage. The young lady bought a boutonniere for both boys.

I'd say things are pretty flexible and low judgment now. If your daughter wants a date, tell her to find one. Or just go with friends. It's not weird.

I think I enjoyed the process more than my son. I really liked the pre-prom photo shoot with hundreds of kids at an attractive park. The young lady enjoyed prom a lot - danced up a storm. The boys were kind of meh about it.

I think it's nice that people who don't have a romantic interest at prom time can still have the fun of dressing up and having a night of dancing and socializing.

[Anonymous]

Nobody asks out anybody anymore.

For formal dances, the whole stupid "proposal" thing has put a lot of kids off -- boys worry about the ridiculous level of effort and being rejected, while girls worry about being unable to say no because it all happens so publicly. Instead, most kids go in groups, or stag, or just don't go at all.

For the type of "asking out" that used to mean "dating," there's not a lot of that either. But at least that's something that both boys and girls do -- girls haven't had to sit around waiting for a boy to call for 40+ years.

[Anonymous]

The promposal thing came out of the Mormon culture in Utah.
Those kids have been doing it for 5 years if not a decade. Those kids will be proposing to their girlfriends for real a year or two after high school.

[Anonymous]

I expect the prom to be on a dating app soon. Inviting in person?? THE HORROR!

[Anonymous]

At my kid's large public no one asks anyone out it seems. Girls have shown interest in my DS through mutual friends, ie., texting or talking to one of his guy friends and expressing interest in going out via his friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the prom to be on a dating app soon. Inviting in person?? THE HORROR!

Lol

[Anonymous]

Just very little dating in general. They hang out and go to functions in groups. Then sometimes they are “talking to somebody.” This seems to have largely replaced dating. It’s essentially them communicating privately and flirtatiously, which sometimes leads to being a couple. They still mostly go out with their group but occasionally do something separate and they have some sort of physical relationship.

[Anonymous]

No one wants to get me tood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody asks out anybody anymore.

.

You can’t say nobody does something, it’s just not true. There are plenty of boys asking girls and girls asking boys. Boy/girl friends go together. Boyfriend/girlfriend go together. Girls go together. Boys go together. Anything goes unless you’re down South then be careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a dd who is 17 and she is a great kid. She is very pretty, she is in several clubs, sports...and she has never been asked to a dance. She is debating not going to prom because she won't have a date (she's always gone to dances with a group of friends before). So do boys not ask girls out unless they are already dating?

Boys are very reluctant because they fear being rejected and mocked in today’s social media world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just very little dating in general. They hang out and go to functions in groups. Then sometimes they are “talking to somebody.” This seems to have largely replaced dating. It’s essentially them communicating privately and flirtatiously, which sometimes leads to being a couple. They still mostly go out with their group but occasionally do something separate and they have some sort of physical relationship.

This. The one thing I think that is good is that teens nowadays don't jump into calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend until they feel serious about each other.